Not literally, but figuratively. I married a man like my father and know my mom is not that happy with dad yet stays. I'm not sure I can. Things have got to change I don't want to be unhappy for the rest of my life. I am only 36, hubby is 45 (worlds apart maybe) yet we have lasted 9 years.
2006-07-28 11:49:57 · 6 answers · asked by hljones1169 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You've answered your own question. You are not happy. You married a man because you saw your father in him. Now, you know you can't stay with him. Don't make a life long mistake. Divorce him and keep looking, you are young, and there are a lot of "not-like-my-dad" types out there. Good luck.
2006-07-28 12:00:52 · answer #1 · answered by Joe 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
We marry people we are comfortable with - they are usually people that remind us of the people were comfortable with as a child. Most women marry either the same or exact opposite of our fathers and men usually marry the same. Are you sure you are really that unhappy in your marriage or are you just scared that your marriage will turn unhappy like your parents? Please discuss this issue with your husband and maybe you can work things out.
2006-07-28 11:56:13 · answer #2 · answered by middle aged and love it 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think we marry our parents cause it's all that we know. It's kind of hard wired into us. I know that I have picked many men who remind me of my father in one way or another. Maybe it's because we have the same personality and are just attracted to people who are like us. It is kind of scary, because in the same sense I find myself acting like my mom in a relationship. Staying and trying my best to be with someone like my dad.
Maybe to some degree, we never got the love and attention we so wanted in our dad's and are hoping that we can get it from someone who is like them. That's just my assumption of it.
2006-07-28 11:56:20 · answer #3 · answered by Fuzzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The pace of the relationship is similar therefore you were attracted and comforted by this relationship. If things are so bad - you are not going to change him - you need to make a difficult decision. The grass seems greener - but is it really greener?
You need to talk this through with someone specializing in this.
2006-07-28 12:11:35 · answer #4 · answered by Kerry Z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be a good idea before people get married they have some counseling. Not years just a few weeks to make sure their heads in the right place. It wouldn't hurt for you to go now.
2006-07-28 11:57:18 · answer #5 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a friend of mine once said, "Of course your parents know how to push all your buttons. They installed them."
Someone like your father is more familiar and predictable.
You can't change people, they need to want to change for themselves. If you're counting on your husband changing, don't. Either you can change yourself, or you can change how you react to him and deal with him. If you are pinning all your hopes on him changing himself, unpin yourself.
2006-07-28 11:56:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋