Children Question?

Question

I have met a man much older than me that has 2 grown children by a previous marriage. I have none. He does not want anymore and we are talking about marriage. I then started to think back, when my mother told me she was pregnant with me, my father did not want anymore children (I have 1 brother) My mom said my father was furious and was very difficult. Dad did admit to this. But in my dads last years of his life he had kidney failure, and was on dialysis for 3 years. I was the one that held his hand and took him to his treatments (my mother was ill), I was the one who bought his Ensure that he had to have daily. I would bring him his dinner and sat it in his lap, while he was sitting weak in his dialysis chair. And when my beloved father took his last breaths in the hospital, my brother was not there, but I was there, holding his hand till the end. How can I make my finance think about this. That maybe having another child might not be such a bad idea. I just want one.

Answer 1

everything happens for a reason if your meant to have kids with him it will happen,My husband is 14 years older then me his kids are grown and we have a beatiful little girl togather he didn't want kids either but after he found out I was pregnant he couldn't've been happier.

Answer 2

Well, although i feel u do deserve to atleast have one child of your own, which is something he should of realized getting involved with someone so much younger then him. He has had his children, u havent, and although he's expirenced it, u havent.. and if he's that much older then u, then the odds are he will pass way before u , and why should u be left alone in the world with out anyone .. But at the same time im sure when things got serious with u and your husband if not sooner he probably let u know that he wasnt interested in having any more kids, and u still persued him, knowing this, u cant force someone that doesnt want kids to have them, they just end up resenting u and the child.. the best thing u can do is try and get him to realize that if he loves u , really loves u, that u do want to have atleast 1 child.. but if not, then its your choice u either marry a man that u know u wont have children with, or you bow out of this relationship and find a man that does want to have children with u.. Good luck, hopefully.. he'll come around but if not, i fear u will end up alone, with out anyone cause although u have a brother, he too will have his own life, his own family.. and that will leave u with out anyone in this world when he is gone..

Answer 3

This is something that is a personal choice, he has already raised two children and in now probably enjoying life without children. I understand your point of view because you have never had a child and would like to experience motherhood. You can try telling him your feelings and your desire to have a child but if he does not want one then I would suggest you either live with this fact and not have a child and be with him or if you truly want a child break off the relationship. Please do not have a child if he does not want one.

Answer 4

Wonderful Story very heart felt, Just no that we can not change MEN, They (men) Do feel/expect us to change. What I mean is this. I don't want any kids because it has been a struggle for me having to raise my special needs son all by my self now he's 16, I am in a second marriage, First husband just did not wish to be there for OUR SON because he just I guess didn't want to except our son's handicap. Well NOW I have remarried and second husband EXCEPTS my son, But please keep in mind all the while I was dating my Husband I really NEVER WANTED ANY CHILDREN and he knew this BUT we are married I still do not want any BUT for some reason My husband feels I will change and because of my LOVE for him I will have a baby if it is ment to be. You see when a man wants us to do something they expect just that for us to do it, But when we want something like in your case Then we can't seem to have what we want. SO IF YOU WANT A CHILD THEN GET PRAGNANT, AND IF YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH THE AFTER MATH OF HIM BEING UPSET MAYBE EVEN LEAVING YOU, THEN TAKE THAT CHANCE, EVERYONE SHOULD BE HAPPY IN A RELATIONSHIP ESPECIALLY WHEN A CHILD/BABY IS THE ISSUE. If you are healthly enough to have one then do so, If you know that you will not be able to deal with his negativity if you were to get Pragnant then DO NOT GET PRAGNANT. He feels he has HAD his children/raised them and he does not want anymore. MAYBE YOU CAN CHANGE HIS MIND/MAYBE NOT. Good Luck. You may want to think to about marriage!!!! This is one reason why he wants you because you are much younger than he Older Men Younger Women it is about controll.

Answer 5

wow difficult question. Honestly if you feel strongly about kids and he feels strongly against then you need to take a look at where your marriage could really go?? You want to convince him but think about it, could he convince you?? You might agree to it, but someday down the road it will haunt you and then what?? Good Luck!!

Answer 6

Your fiancee doesn't sound like a bad person, but he has also done his child rearing. He wants to enjoy his life now. You have to thinkl long and hard about this decision to not only be with him, but your desire to have a child. He is not your father; he may deeply resent your decision to have a child, whether he wants one or not.

Answer 7

sounds to me like you never did get your daddy's approval and tried until the day he died.
i feel sorry for you. i'm so sorry for you.

as for the fiance (you spelled finance; was that a Freudian slip?), if he wants no children find someone else. he will eventually resent you if you try to change his mind or do it without his permission.

Answer 8

Best make sure you go over all of this with HIM, before any marriage vows take place. It could be a deal breaker.

Answer 9

if you really want kids then you should tell him and if he wont back down then call of the engagement until u agree on this subject. it will haunt you the rest of your life if you dont,