My boyfriends mom is so hooked on moving to texas, we live in california. but my boyfriend wont move without me. and i dont want to go without my family, and my family wont go. and personally, i dont want to live by my boyfriends mom for my whole life. lol. and she never stops bugging us about moving there. she even asked today, what would you do if someone offered you 100,000$ to never see him again, and to him she asked what if someone offered you a million dollars to never see her again. obviously we both said not take it. But she just keeps insisting on us moving and gets mad when we say no. she always tries to bribe us in going by saying she would buy us a house, a horse, a car, anything.but it wont break me.
Then she wanted to plan a road trip across the country, but for somehow its our fault that we planned a baseball game for the week she wanted to go & we shoudl cancel our game, where we have great seats!! no way! i dont even want to spend a week with her. what do i do?
2006-07-28 11:23:26 · 9 answers · asked by kristen4562 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
PS - he is 18 and still lives with his parents. so she also tries to say well u cant make it without me if i move u hafta move to cuz u cant support yourself. shes mean like that. id love for her to move away and us be on our own, our relationship would be so much healthier
2006-07-28 11:30:53 · update #1
You and your b/f are very smart to not give into her demands and do what she thinks you and him should do. She wants control over your lives and is resorting to bibery. She's the type of person that will use that against you and him and not let you and him forget what she has "done" for you both Keep standing your ground, she'll realize you and him are not the type to be controlled no matter what. She can get glad the same way she got mad.
2006-07-28 11:52:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
She sounds kinda controlling, but she also sounds like she just wants to keep her family together. At least she is trying to include you, which shows you that she respects you are being a big part of her son's life.
You might want to consider actually moving and taking her up on the new house/new car and all that crap she claims she'll do for the 2 of you if you go. Moving to a new place can be a lot of fun and it might be a nice fresh start for you and your man to go to school, get jobs, or whatever you have planned. Talk to his mom and tell her that if you do go you want a place thats 20-30min away from where she is because you need your space - there is nothing wrong with that.
I live in cali too and I've been to tx, and it's beautiful. There is so much opportunity there, the people are nice, the weather is good, I've even tossed around moving there. Another HUGE fact is that it is SOOOO cheap to live there in comparison to cali. You might want to consider going - no one says you have to stay there forever, and it's certainly not very far away from cali - just a quick plane ride.
2006-07-28 18:37:06 · answer #2 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all do not move. If she is this controlling now what will she be like closer to you. It sounds as if she needs to get a life of her own. You might try you and your boyfriend talking to her and telling her to butt out of your life. If this does not work you can stop answering the phone when she calls, don't answer emails etc until she gets the point. Sometimes you have to really really prove your point before they wise up. Good luck and stay put.
2006-07-28 18:29:24 · answer #3 · answered by middle aged and love it 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your boyfriend needs to tell her to back off, that you two are not going, but if that is what she really wants to do then you both feel that she should go. Tell her that you two will come and visit her and that she can visit you, and there is always phones to stay in touch, but that the two of you have discussed it and there is no way that you are packing up and moving anywhere at this time.
2006-07-28 18:30:35 · answer #4 · answered by Joy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he's old enough to make his own choices, no matter what she says, so its his decision to make, so dont even discuss it with her any further, if he wants to stay with u fine, but if he wants to go thats his choice too, but she needs to stop being so manipulative and controling, if shes smart she'll stop. But from here on out, if she trys to bring it up.. just politely say, this is his choice not mine, and i do not wish to discuss this with u anymore, walk away.... and leave it at that..
2006-07-28 18:47:38 · answer #5 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest you both move to New Zealand but tell her you are going to North Dakota.
2006-07-28 18:27:45 · answer #6 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
xx I think you and your boyfriend should get your own place and say goodbye to mom. He'll visit her. But life should go on for you and him and mom should get her own life as should the two of you. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
2006-07-28 18:29:36 · answer #7 · answered by asoldierswife 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you seem to be doing great already. just stand firm and together if he feels the same way.
2006-07-28 18:27:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
welcome to the club. You mind as well get married. All you can really do is express your feelings and leave it at that.
2006-07-28 18:27:58 · answer #9 · answered by F.Duke 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋