how do you get rid of hatred towards another person?

Answer 1

by being nice to them, then they might be nice to you too and you might end up being friends

Answer 2

I had a stepfather that I hated with a passion. He was abusive, a drunk and a total d**k in general. The man beat me everyday for 12 years of my life. I carried this hatred for years until a friend gave me some words of wisdom. He said, "The bible says, hate the sin, love the sinner" I laughed and said "yeah, right". The more I thought about it, the more it made sense though. We all do as we were taught. If we grow up abused, we have strong tendencies to do the same. Everyone is who they are for a reason, and most don't know how to get it all under control. Maybe this person you hate really can't help being the way they are because it's all they know. Be angry at what they did, not them. Reach out to them if possible and offer some good advice as to how to change the way they are. It may or may not work, but it's better than holding this hate crap inside of you for the rest of your life. The stepdad is dead now, but while he was alive I went to him and told him I forgave him. It didn't change who he was, but I felt better knowing I put my anger to rest.

Answer 3

Try to identify the reason for the hatred. Almost always there is a reason for it. When you do that, try to improve on that part of you since quite frankly, if that person hates you because of that characteristic, than other's do to.

Naturally over time, people will soften up to you. But the amount of time it takes depends on the magnitude of the situation which sprouted this hatred. If you say, cheated of someone's test, than after a while the guy/girl will problably forgive you. But if you say murdered someone, the family may never forgive you.

Answer 4

Without losing control, you tell them how you feel. You remind them that you are a human being, worthy of respect, and do not deserve to be treated in such a manner. If this doesn't work, walk quietly away.

Think about the relationship and focus on the errors made by both sides. Accept any blame that is yours.

If you have been really hurt, it might take a year for the pain to go away. The memory may stay, but it will fade to its proper place in your brain.

You can forgive a person. That doesn't mean that you have to stay around and be hurt by them, again. Forewarned is forearmed.

Is this relationship worthy of redemption, or would it be better to have them out of your life?

Do not destroy new friends by fixating on the past.

Answer 5

It depends on the situation that caused you to hate this person in the first place. Anyhow, the only way is to forgive, and to remember that by hating another person the only one getting hurt is yourself. I mean, it is your stomach that turns into a nut when you think of him / her, right? And the other person might not even know what you think or feel at that moment. Some stuff is ugly, but no matter how ugly your reasons for hating are, it is not worth loosing your spirit and your peace of mind over it. Be the bigger person.

Answer 6

Who is making you hate another person? The truth is that we choose our emotions. The way to get rid of hatred is to just stop choosing to hate. Hatred is not a disease that happens to a person. It is something that a person embraces and encourages, or else rejects and sets aside.

Answer 7

Depends on how bad they screwed me over. LOL.

Seriously, well.......if this is a serious question, I'll tell you. That is a tough one for me. I have a hard time forgiving. I hold grudges. When I feel betrayed, I want revenge.

But what I do is this: I wonder why he/she does the things he/she does. I can imagine that as a child, they were treated that exact way. I often wonder how sad it was for him/her as a child. If I see that person as a vulnerable child (which we all were at one point in our lives), I can have compassion for that person. That is the only way I can get rid of it.

Mind you, I may HATE what they do. But I can eliminate the hate I have for others by having compassion.

Answer 8

Once many many years ago I knew that I was going to have to see a family member that I had a horrible anger and hatred for. I was talking this over with a lady who I respected saying I just did not know how I was going to be able to handle it. She said, when you see her, just let your hatred turn to love. Well, I thought that sounded pretty undoable, but I just kept telling myself over and over on the plane going there, when I see her, my hate is going to turn to love. It was like magic. It actually worked. I have no idea how. But, I never felt hate for her again. And, over time, I was able to totally forgive her, and now she is dead, I can hardly even remember what I was so upset about anyway. I cannot really explain how this worked, I just know that it did.

Answer 9

Once you honestly admit that this person has managed to get under your skin and is festering there, you should be able to rationalize how much time you're spending thinking about them. If you hate them, why devote so much a part of you to them? You CAN stop thinking and hating, you know. Force yourself to think about other positive things. When this person starts to creep back into your mind, remember if they provoke this kind of negativity, they aren't worth even your thoughts. .
You know they would relish the fact that they've got you hung up on them, good or bad. So, CHOOSE to stop. Be the WINNER!
I have faith in you.

Answer 10

Congratulations! You've passed the first threashold on the way to achieving your goal - forgiveness. Admitting that you can't forgive, or don't want to, is a very postitve step.
The dilema is that Jesus appears to be demanding that we forgive. Oh foo!! what then?
Admitting our own inability or desire to Jesus is the best thing to do and then to ask Him to make you willing to forgive. But it's not easy.

C. S. Lewis has some salient thoughts on forgiveness in his book "Mere Christianity" here is a URL to a quote from this book, concerning forgiveness.
http://www.wildershow.com/cs-lewis-forgive.htm

Answer 11

You can not do this by sheer will, but with the assistance of the moral or religious persuation you live by. In Christianity, Jesus taught us to love those who do not respond with love back. It's not easy by yourself, but God gives strength to forgive and move on. Hatred is self-consuming and can over stress and destroy the emotions of the person harboring the hate. Please seek counseling of some form and don't let it simmer in your heart.