I am annoied that my fiance openly favors, pacifies, and spoils his daughter and openly admits it! He told me it's because her mom is a dead beat and I said well she has me, then he said well plus she's a girl and I said well so what you don't treat our 11 month old daughter that way and he said she's only 11 months and I said she can still sense it though. I then went on to say that the other three sense that favoristism and resent her for it they're 18, 16, and 11 all boys and one of which has the sam mom as she does and doesn't get special treatment! I am fed up with it! What do you think?
2006-07-28 10:27:47 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Please excuse the spelling errors I had to type quick I am about to get off of work!
2006-07-28 10:29:34 · update #1
She lives with us and I mean favoritism like buy her things tell them no if they asked! Cater to her what ever she wants!
2006-07-28 10:38:00 · update #2
He had his daughter when she was 6 months by him slef because her mom just went after some man and so he bonded with her as young as six months I want the same treatment for my daughter! Don't short my daughter anything!
2006-07-28 10:41:00 · update #3
No its not fair. Ur other children will feel deprived all thru their lives.
2006-07-28 10:30:49 · answer #1 · answered by Alex007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Though it may not be fair, a lot of parents have a favorite or at least one child that they identify with more. I do. You should also remember that men cater to their daughters more than their sons. Mothers cater to sons more than their daughtes. Its in our nature to cater to the opposite sex. When your 11 month old gets older, he will be more into her don't worry. He just feels sorry for his 6 yr old. It is good that this little girl has you in her life, but nothing is the same as dear old mom, even if she is a deadbeat. the child doesn't understand this. The 18 yr old is a grown man now and shouldn't be concerned w/competing with a 6 yr old, and neither should the 16 yr old. Continue to communicate with him about how you feel and I think in time he will change. Good Luck and Peace.
2006-07-28 10:41:06 · answer #2 · answered by Poetess_4U 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are right on the 3 boys about resenting their sister. it will only make it rough on her. he should never favor anyone of the children, however if his daughter's mom is bad news then i can see how he could be sympathetic for her. take the high rode and work with him on changing his approach without changing his compassion for his daughter. if you don't then the atmosphere and all of the relationships will keep going down hill. you don't need to be so hard line and yet try to change his way of thinking with reasoning. i bet because of this there is very little action in the bedroom. love and tenderness sometimes can do the trick. I'm not saying that you are wrong but go about it different. one last thought, don't ever be unfair to the little girl, be very sweet to her. it will be easy for you to resent her. after all, it is not her fault. the reason i say these things is because i lived through the same situation. this will be a slow building process. don't think changes will come over night but when they do then all of the relationships will be better and stronger!
keep the faith!
2006-07-28 10:38:18 · answer #3 · answered by lou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How many Daddy's babies is he? So I'm assuming he has children by at least 3 different women, 5 kids in all. 2 by the deadbeat Mom and one with you. That still leaves 2 unaccounted for. Sounds like a lot of drama to me. He has an awful lot of responsibility. The boys really need him, I wish he understood this. No, it is not fair that he showers one child over the others with love and affection. He should love all his children equally no matter what kind of Mama they have. Since you got an 11 month old with him you are linked with this man for life thru your child. Good Luck!
2006-07-28 10:43:39 · answer #4 · answered by musicisme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is perfectly normal. The daughter is at an age where she is trying to bond with her father where as the 11 month old isn't. The other children are boys. Most fathers and daughter have a stronger bond than father/son. Normal the boys would have a stronger bond with their mother than their father. This is normal.
2006-07-28 10:32:05 · answer #5 · answered by sapphiresunstar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was my boyfriend, I would be very concerned about his behavior towards his only female child. Are you sure he is being appropriate?
Your boyfriend may be a child molestor. My best friend was being molested when we were in kindergarten and the same type situation was occuring. Her 2 brothers were ignored and she was doted over by the molestor. It was what they call "grooming" for the molestation.
This **** would stop, or I would confront him. Not appropriate!!!
I am 42 yrs old and still feel guilty because I never told and I dont think she did either.
2006-07-28 10:34:36 · answer #6 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well maybe the connected but he needs to space his time with all of em good luck
2006-07-28 10:31:25 · answer #7 · answered by devil_queen_biatch14 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldent put up with that he needs to get help
2006-07-28 10:50:44 · answer #8 · answered by Jimbo23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋