Help! What can I do?

Question

My boyfriend and I were together for 7 years, we had lots of arguments and finally i finished it a few weeks ago, he wasnt happy about me finishing it but seems to have accepted it. A while ago while we were still together I lent him £1000 to buy a bed for his new house, he said he would pay it back to me and when we split up I asked him and he said he'd give it to me "when he had it". I asked for it again yesterday and he's now saying that I gave him the bed as a gift! He knows full well i didnt, £1000 is a lot of money, should I just let it go or try to fight for it, he is obviously just trying to piss me off, where do I stand legally?

Answer 1

first of all, how can a bed cost 1000?

second, it's just a bed. LET IT GO and save your energies for a more relevant matter!

Answer 2

Unless he signed a contract saying that he would pay the money back in front of witnesses preferably you don't have a legal leg to stand on. There is no such thing as common law marriage in the UK. You can live together or be together unmarried for the rest of your life but you will still not have the same rights as a couple who have been legally married. He can say whatever he likes, it's your word against his as far as I can tell from your story.

You could continue to hassle him but he may take out an ASBO on you. I think you mihgt have lost although it seems very unfair. The only thing you can do is try to learn from the experience never to lend to anyone more than you can afford to lose no matter who they are.

I'm so sorry that you are having a hard time.

Best of luck.

Answer 3

Assuming you agreed, the last "contractual" event was him
telling you that he would pay off the debt when he had it.

By American law (can't speak for the UK), that is an oral
contract. Unfortunately, oral contracts are difficult to enforce
because there is no evidence other than witness evidence.
Who witnessed him saying this to you? Will this be a
his-word-against-yours sort of deal? If so, you lose.

Is there any paperwork associated with this? If not, and
with no "tie-breaking" witness, you're back to suing him.
The major contention will be over what the original agreement
was (gift vs. loan), and given no other information, as
a civil case it will be your credibility against his.

It would be good if you could present some additional
evidence other than your word against his ... anything.
For instance, if you gave him a check, what did it have on
the "memo" line? If he used it, he must have signed on the
back side and that signature could be considered an
instrument of a contract.

Of course, if the memo line read "Bed", it doesn't say anything
useful and won't be of any help.

As to him obviously trying to piss you off, I hate to say this,
but that is probably NOT the motive: He probably wants to
keep the money.

Answer 4

Its your word against his, in the eyes of the law at least, also you would have to take it through the small claims court, they may find in your favour, but you still may not get the money if he is going to be an a-hole about it, if you are in the UK the Citizins Advice Bureau will help you, if not then there must be an equivelant where you are, it is a lot of money, but the sooner you can break all links with this person, the quicker you can get your life back.

You also have to ask yourself is this situation a way of bieng able to keep in touch, I know you will be horrified at the suggestion, but its a bone of contention that will keep you and him talking, even if its negative, maybe he/you have a hidden agenda? Think about it, maybe just walking away would give you more peace of mind.

Answer 5

Go to the citizens Advice and see what advice they can give you, maybe they might suggest the small claims court, have you any proof that you loaned him the money, sounds like you are better off without him anyhow cause he is just trying to annoy you for dumping him and who needs that in their life, maybe you could just put him not paying you the money back down to bad experience and never hand over money to anyone again without some sort of receipt or genuine promise of payback, don't end up letting him annoy you, he obviously isn't worth the hassle, remember you dumped him cause he seemed to like arguing too much.

Answer 6

you should have gotton it down on paper babe. No point on going to court unless you can prove(on paper or other means) that you lent him the money. He is trying to get under your skin(ive been thru this b 4) and he will win if you let it get the best of you. I suggest that you back off the calls and any other contact with him. let him cool off. then when things are settled down you ask again in a polite way. Never be forceful if u want it back. luck to you, Kristen

Answer 7

let it go. youve already dealt with 7 years of fighting with him. its not worth the battle. so long as you know you're right, thats all that matters. otherwise you will be dealing with some serious mudslinging in court trying to get your money out of him. and obviously neither of you have enough for an attorney or this wouldnt be a problem, so odds are it will be nothing but horror for you if you try to fight. dont look at this as him getting his way, but more like you getting some peace. no sense in picking your battles when you just want the war to end.

Answer 8

Leave well alone - Id go round and slit a whole in the mattress and place a load of prawns in the seams. See whether he offers for you to have the bed back as he cant handle the smell. Talk about a turn off. Ha de ha!!

Answer 9

You might as well give up. I bought a bed wone time with my own money and ended up moving out and had to leave the bed until I found a place. We went to court and everything and he got to keep the bed. Pissed me off, but what can you do?

Answer 10

sorry sweetie there's not alot u can do had the same problem with x wife lent her some cash after we split never see the cash and coz i didn't have anything in writing couldn't do a thing legally