I always thought I'd be a 'somebody', but it just isn't happening. what will i do?

Question

I've always been a motivated person. I left university with hopes and aspirations of being a writer. I know i've many talents but since i've left uni i've had to get a full time job and i just don't have the energy to do anything creative. Is this what happens? do we all get older and just realise it aint gonna happen? what do i do? should i keep on going in my dead end job or quit and try and do something worthwhille?

Answer 1

Follow your heart, do what makes you happy.

Answer 2

Wanting to be a "somebody" means that you're young and confident, and perhaps a bit cocky and arrogant and not beaten down by the world. I was that way and so are a lot of kids.

But mostly, from a psychological perspective it shows that you have a need for external validation - you need to be the hero and to have others acknowledge your greatness. This stems from insecurity and a fragile ego.

The question is, do you really want to be a writer or is writing just a means to an end (fame and fortune). If you love writing and could be happy being a poor, unacknowleged writer I advise that you choose that path. Know however, that the most successfull writers in our society are not necessarily the best writers, but rather the most marketable. Plus there is a element of luck in it.

So, if you're single and without kids then I suggest you quit your dead end job and give writing a shot, accepting that you'll live poor for a while. At least then you won't live with the regret later that you didn't give it a fair shot. Of course if you're married and/or have kids there are more serious considerations.

Either way, keep in mind that you will be well served in life to examine yourself from the inside out and get to the point where your sense of self worth and your definition of "being someone" are not dependent on what others think of you.

Answer 3

What a great bunch of answers ! I haven't much to add except that I've found that the modern western world is so full of distractions and business ,noise and paperwork that it's a wonder anyone can find the space to allow the delicate flower of inspiration to flourish.
I'd get rid of the TV ,the radio and hi-fi, move somewhere invigorating ,and see what arises.
Profound creativity usually stems from inner turmoil ,contrasted with a knowledge of intimacy with existence. Mundane circumstances ,conventionally minded people, and distractions are the death of all this.

Finally ,end-gaining is always a bad idea ,one needs to do what needs doing now ,and to be careless of the future ,to release the necessary energy to live well .

PS: I've been dedicateed to the spiritual path for a quarter of a century now. In the early days ,i planned to be the next Buddha, then I thought i'd be enlightened by my late 20's like Christ , then by my mid -thirties. I've seen younger ,prehaps less experienced people start to teach , and my views about the whole business have changed .
I no longer believe in 'the enlightened teacher' in the same way , I see it more as a role , and feel that expressing ourselves is the best teaching ,whatever form that takes . I expect that it'll be similar for you , dreams found may fade , others will morph . What is certain is that the view will look different from the next hill top...and the next..

Answer 4

Dear Wicca,

Y ou answered my question, I read yours. 'Real life' can very much sap one's energy, especially creatively energy. For most people a job is a means to an end, not the raison d'etre they thought it might be!

In my experience you can broadly split life into three elements; work/career, family/ love, friends/ leisure. If 2 out of three are fulfilling at any one time you can feel positive about life. Maybe it is not just work that is a disappointment.

Perhaps you miss the 'reward' of praise and encouragement for your writing that you had in Uni. and that makes it harder to motivate yourself. Perhaps a creative writing group or doing your Masters would get you going again.

If your identity is wrapped up with being a writer/ creative and you are not writing then you will feel unfulfilled and as if you are somehow failing, letting yourself down. Even if you just write poems, short stories, articles you might feel re energised and 'authentic', that is, true to your spirit.

I am off to a Pagan festival next weekend, no doubt I will find some wicca there!

Answer 5

Have you actually looked in the mirror recently, cause if you had you would see you are somebody and somebody who's life is worthwhile, write a list of the things you want to do and get down to the local small business people and see what they can come up with in the way of help from that list, you are very intelligent and don't go wasting it by wishing your life away with if, what's and maybes, its never too late to be anything you want to be, get out there now and use your creativeness and motivation to do something with your hopes and aspirations, very good luck.

Answer 6

I know exactly how you feel. I used to have so many dreams and expectations but, recently, like you, I've started to wonder whether they will ever be realized. Unfortunately, some of our dreams won't come true. And, we will have to live with it. Maybe we need to appreciate more the things we have and defeat our greedy nature. I can understand that writing is something of great importance to you; something you truly love and really fulfilling - I share a similar passion for reading literature and analysing literary works. However, there are many cases of people who have followed a different profession than the one they initially thought of as the ideal job for them. I really feel that you're talented in writing but, sometimes that alone is not enough; you need luck, the right circumstances and people who can give you guidance. I'm not saying that you should give up.Walk on the rope, yes; but, with a safety net underneath. That is, make sure you have a job to earn your living while fighting for your dream. If not a full, then a part time one or a post with more flexible hours or something like seasonal employment - working in the summer, writing in the winter. Personally, I'd like to be a lecturer of literature at university. I've won a scholarship on "American Literature and Culture" and now I study for the exams in order to gain admission to the Postgraduate Studies Program of the faculty. However, I might not get to pass, after all... In that case, I think I will settle with teaching English as a foreign language and keep reading literature as a hobby or try again to sit for the exam some time in the future (while working as a teacher). These are mere plans of course; who knows how things might turn in the future. My point is that it's really nice to have dreams and aspirations and doing the best we can to achieve them. But, at the same time we need to be able to appreciate the feasibility of our goals and learn to be realistic about the things we can or can't do. So, follow your heart, pursue a career as a writer but, don't invest all your time, energy and effort solely in that. And, learn to expect less so as not to get easily disappointed... Remember that, even if you don't manage to succeed you'll always be a special person and "a somebody"; perhaps not to the whole world but, to your mate, family and friends as THEY eventually will be all the world to you. And, in the end, that is what truly matters. I wish you the best of luck from the bottom of my heart. Imagine me, a few years later, as a lecturer at university analysing your first book as a literary classic!!! Too good to be true? Maybe; maybe not.

Answer 7

if you want to be a writer then make that your full time job you only need enough money to get what you need to live. most writers die pennyless, even the great ones. you must find your self. did you get your degree before you left? its worthless unless your writing text books. find a part time job 20-30 hrs a week.
that will be more than enough to pay for a place to stay, food,and your writing supplies--pen,pencil,paper,and computer. If you can make it as a writer the everything else will take care of its self.
since you have a full time job, save enough to pay your way for a month or two. Get a part time job at a coffee shop or some were other writers hang out. when your not writing or at work do something to broaden your experiences. soon you will become a seasoned writer you will develop your own style. from there you can only find success
NOW GET OFF YOU BUTT ON GET WRITING!

Answer 8

Whoa slow down....keep the job so you have what you NEED. If you really don't like it you can look for another while you're working with the old one. You have time to find out what you really want to do in life so don't sweat it. Everything falls into place there aren't any coincidences. Don't let yourself down because you feel like you're on a path that has brought you no where. You can always build onto what you have. Right now you're thinking too much of your weaknesses and your could-of/should-of's. You know you have talents but reach a little deeper and give those talents more credit. Let them have a true name and let them glow and be vibrant. Stay young in your heart and keep it simple.

Answer 9

Whatever you do, DON'T GIVE UP!! Every artist has dry spells, especially writers. There are so many wonderful stories in your head you cannot imagine. You have a lot to say, carry a pad always and keep writing, you never know when it can turn into a story, I also am an aspiring writer and I will never give up......Stay focused. Yeah, we all have to eat to live, thats just how it is....big market for childrens books now....try Four Winds Press but don't give UP!!

Answer 10

Carve out some time to do volunteer work someplace. You will become 'somebody' to many people who need your help. Observe and take notes, write about your experiences. Many people have lived lives that meant a great deal to others. That should be your goal, not just to be known world-wide. You have much to offer. Being somebody will take care of itself. If you feel your job is not fulfilling, by all means check out other opportunities, just don't quit your present job until you've found a better one. I'll bet you're a star in someone's eyes.

Answer 11

I would recommend that you spend your free time writing and just keep adding to it until you have a finished work to submit to a publisher. Never give up on your dreams and goals just because they have to be put on hold at times. Even the most popular authors go through dry spells where they just can't get into writing for a while. Don't look at having a full-time job as the end of a career that you can always get into at a later date. Just keep abreast of news and info and constantly remind yourself that the setback is only temporary. Good luck to you.