If your friend tells you he's off the drugs, and then splits to find some, do you run or try to help them?

Question

I have a friend who recently told me that he's given up the 'street-drugs' to enjoy life better. Granted I took his word for it, but I admit it was very cautiously.

No sooner had we had this conversation, he excused himself to go to the store for cigarettes. He did not return, which was curious because he had planned to meet friends at our place.

Frustrated, I saw him later, and I confronted him about his issue. He explained his actions by giving me one story, but I knew (call it a gut-feeling) that he was lying. (His jaw was doing about 100 movements / 5 second intervals) His eyes were continually shifting and yet, he somehow believed that I was buying his bull.

Frustrated somewhat, I found myself just WALKING AWAY. The only problem I have with this, was that I feel I am walking away from a friend, who may be reaching out. yet I couldn't get past his actions of his addiction

Answer 1

Honey, your friend will have to hit bottom before he'll give up this addiction. Walking away and removing yourself from this situation is the best thing. Do not give him money or anything else he can exchange for drugs; use tough love. When he sobers up, you can talk to him. But it's not likely until he's on his last leg. Save yourself some grief. Junkies will be junkies and take everyone they love with them if they can.

Answer 2

XXXXXXXXXXX Drugs addicts are pathelogical liars. They say anything to keep your trust and faith in them. You must show that tough love and not subject yourself to this. Walking away was the best thing to do hun. Tell him that you love him but you will not be around him in that condition. If he really wants help, go with him to a Drug program.(Suggest one and see what he says) If he goes, I'd be more trusting and feel maybe he does want to quit. Otherwise, how good of a friend is he being to you? In his condition the only friend he has is his drugs. And he'll lie, steal, and betray andone and everyone to keep his friend. Good luck hun. Keep going with your heart. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Answer 3

Unless you're a qualified therapist or physician specializing in addiction disorders, walk away.

He'll eventually hit bottom and seek-out professional help or he'll die junked-up.

It's hard to watch a friend ruin his life--even a portion of it--but you can't take on his cross. He's the only one that can help him.

Answer 4

Let him the suffer the consequences of his own actions. He will either wind up arrested, or just a life full of problems, probably both depending on what type of drug he is on.

Answer 5

try again try and tell him how much you care about him and that you want ot help him get helkp...see if you can get him to go to rehab...you may have to give seriouse tough love and just "give up" on him. Try not to talk to him for a while don't let him around see if he get's the picture then.

Answer 6

If he isn't willing to give up his addiction on his own, there's nothing you can do. Sorry. Been there and learned that lesson with a few people in my life.

Answer 7

Treat him cordially but not with the affection that you normally show. Maybe he'll get the hint and if not tell Moise to get his crap together and then come back and talk when he's ready.

Answer 8

if he is lying, then he is NOT reaching out for help. he doesn't want help, he wants drugs. as long as he is lying and hiding things, you can not help him. the best thing you could do is distance yourself from him. as his addiction progess he will start to hurt those around him by more lies /stealing etc.

Answer 9

you couldnt stop them if you tried, he has to want tot stop himself, and obviousley he dosent, let him suffer with what happens to him, just becarefull you dont get hurt in the process.

Answer 10

You can try helping out again, sorry to hear this.