Leave or stay?

Question

Would you stay with our spouse just for the children or would you leave if you know the marriage is not going to work out?

Please let me know if you're married or single when answering.

We are going to counseling but it's not helping.

Answer 1

Leave... I did. It is worst on the kids if you stay. They sense that there is a struggle between you and your spouse. It took me a long time to come with terms of leaving, but my 7 year old put it best when he told me that he would rather have both of us happy and apart than together and miserable. My ex and I are now best friends. It was so nice not fighting all the time after that weight had been lifted off of our shoulders. We realized that we both love each other just can not live together. My children are also so much happier. Good luck....

Answer 2

I'm all about the children I came from a broken home not very nice. Hey look on the bright side there are always other solutions right counselling, talking with your partner or separation for a little bit Divorce is such a drastic thing.

The Common reasons couples fight is because they don't talk enough and when the do have the chance to talk there all stressed from work, bills, kids & life in general and thats when the fighting starts! maybe what you's should do is set up a specail time a week where it can be just the two of you movie ,diner or just a quite night at home where you's can shoot the poo and put all your cards on the table i bet you'll notice a difference

Answer 3

I would leave. More damage can be done staying in a relationship that is not working. Do think long and hard before taking this step though. Have you considered counseling for the two of you, have you sat down together and discussed your situation. Make sure the kids don't get caught up in what has gone wrong in your marriage. Children have a tendency to think they are the cause of the problem.

Answer 4

You should never use children as an excuse for staying in a marriage. You'll be unhappy and so will the children. Even if children don't physically see the problems in the relationship, they can sense that there is unhappiness. In a long run, it's best to just leave for the happiness of everyone involved.

Answer 5

I'd leave especially if my husband was never around, was fooling around, and was using me as a punching bag, stealing from me, always put me down, violent, abusive, drank, gambled, didn't help with the bills, housework, never asked me what I wanted, and did things without consulting me, over spent, ran up the credit card bills, had a baby by another woman, molested my children. However if he's not like that then I'd see a marriage councelor or write to Dr. Phil and see what can be done to save the marriage. I'm single, and have been for 16 years.

Answer 6

If you and your spouse are having so much trouble that you are staying for the children only, I think the kids would be better off if someone left. That is not to say that the kids should not be allowed to visit the spouse. It is better the kids be happy in two homes than miserable in a household that is always fussing.

Answer 7

Leave, knowing what's best for your children is the best way of showing you love them. They will appreciate it in the long run. And quite possibly by getting out sooner, than later will give you a better relationship with you spouse at a later time (not together, but on a friend level) so that the chikdren don't feel it neccesary to choose sides or feel torn.

Answer 8

Ask yourself, have you exercised EVERY avenue in order to stay together? Marital counseling, attempt to serve one another in order to build back that original love etc. If in that case you had, then it would be better to leave amicably rather than allowing things to get ugly. The children will be affected both ways, however if you are able to dissolve the marriage on "positive" terms, your children will end up being healthier. Remember that they will emulate your example, good or bad. That is the experience that they will have in their heads and hearts and use those "skills/tools" in their own relationships.

Answer 9

Leave! If you stay w/ your spouse just for the sake of the kids, the tension is definetly going to rub off on the kids. Why stay if you aren't happy?

The kids, too, are more likely to find an abuser in their live as a partner. Not good!

Answer 10

first did you talk to your spouse about what you are feeling. this is a big decision . children can't hold a marriage together, only you guys can. good luck i hope everything works out for you. if you do leave do not keep your child from the other parent it's wrong to divorce the kids