What would u do?

Question

I am 24, married with a child (10 months) , me and my wife have decided to separate because she mainly said that she wants more space to have all the fun she is missing out on, she is 19. she says that she feels trapped and bored...but that she loves me and she wants to make sure that we were meant to be ....i feel in my heart nothing but love for her and really dont want this...but i agreed because if i dont then somehow she will find a way to cheat anyway. I want to know ur opinion on what anyone would do in my shoes...is she being selfish or does this need to be done?

Answer 1

she is being selfish- however if she cheats you will be miserable and the baby will feel it,
If you love something set it free, if it's meant to be she'll be back- you just make sure your child is kept safe and protected. If she wants to go be wild, you keep the baby so he/she won't be neglected anymore.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

I hate to say it, but both of you are still pretty young. More so her. And although she is being selfish (with having a child and all), you really can't blame her for thinking and feeling the way she does. SHE'S YOUNG! And whatever you do, she will feel the need to satisfy this urge.

Since you are the older one, and would seem more level headed, I would concentrate more on your child than her. In this situation, your child will need you, more than you need your wife. Ask any parent...when you have a child, everything else takes a back burner. And unfortuantely, your wife is too young too figure that out right now. It sounds like your mature enough to know better though.

And you'll have to ask yourself, with your wife being like this, IS she the one for you? If she were, she would be thinking about the welfare of her family. NOT her social life.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I'm sorry you're going through this. Remember she is young and she is wanting to go out and be her age. If you tell her she can't, she will grow to resent you and most likely will find a way to have an affair at some point down the road. Make sure if you do pursue separation/divorce that you do what's best for you and your child. Right now I'm guessing if she doesn't want to be a wife she probably doesn't want to be a mother either. Move on with your life and let her do what she needs to do.

Answer 4

She is being selfish, but it isn't her fault since she is but a girl. Not the young woman and lover you fell for. You have a child, so you have to but him/her first the both of you should try to work it out. There is a quote that if you let a bird fly away and if it comes back then it was meant to be. Well that is utter bs, This isn't time for fairy tales. You both cna go out and get into a hobby or go to clubs drink pass out and wake up in eachothers arms. Get a baby sitter. I am 21 and married with an 11 month old, my wife is 21 and it is I that want's to fly away but she is a good woman and nobody is perfect. She is beautiful and strong and i love her because of that. We both could do better or alot worse. My son drives me to make this marriage work and anyhow we both make a hot couple. It's up to you to make that amrriage work, you are the mature one, and she needs you to help her make the right decisions. Just like my wife does for me.

Answer 5

Well, first of all, she is too young. I think 19 is not really the age that's ready to be a mother. Maturity grows with age. I'm surprised you two got married so soon. But it's understandable for someone her age to feel like she's "missing out on life." She hasn't really seen it all and she's already had a baby with you. Just do what she wants and she'll realize you're the best for her. If she does come back, make you sure you play hard to get!

Answer 6

Not much to do about it now, it's not uncommon for someone to feel that they're "missing out" on something if they marry young. Sounds like you don't have much choice but to let her expereince this - whether or not it's selfish or immature is not for anyone to judge, it was just as selfish and immature to conceive a child before having full committment to marriage (and it DOES take two to conceive a child). Try making the best of the situation; if I were you, I wouldn't hold my breath, and would get a life of my own, while doing my best to take care of the child.

Answer 7

My heart goes out to you. I went through the same ordeal 17 years ago. My spouse was 19 and wanted to party all the time leaving me at home with a 10 month old baby. I would lock him out of the house, call my brother to vent, and cry. Then one day i decided that I am not going to worry about him any more. He moved out and I did absolutely nothing to stop it. He asked to come home the next day. 6 years later had a new born and he moved out and I did everything for me and my kids. I hung out with my friend and her kids, we went to church, the movies and shopping together. He thought I was with someone else because I started to move on. one month later he came to his senses. If you love her do like I did. Don't beg her to stay. Take care of you and your child. One day she will come to her senses. I just hope that it is not too late when she does. She is being selfish and maybe one day her eyes will be open and she can finally see and realize she has a good man. GOD BLESS YOU!

Answer 8

You're both so young, this is heartbreaking. It sounds to me like you are the parent who should take over care of the child; if motherhood alone isn't enough to overpower a 19-year-olds need to go night clubbing, nothing will.

And you've answered your own question: if you don't let her go, she'll go anyway--one way or another. Best to be honest about it. As for your last line: Yes, she IS being selfish. And yes, this DOES need to be done.

24 is young. Just be good to that baby and this, too, shall pass.

Answer 9

No she is not being selfish but she should of thought about this sooner. But you do not deserve to be treated like this. Believe me she will regret this later but right now she sees her single friends out there being tramps and that sounds like what she wants so let her go and you just stand by and try to give your child the best you can, and find some one who will appreciate a good man

Answer 10

Sounds to me like she's having a hard time dealing with a child at this stage in her life. Was it a planned pregnancy? Having a child can most definately put a strain on any relationship, especially if it wasn't planned. You may have no choice but to give her some slack to help her figure things out, but a baby in the picture complicates things.

Answer 11

It doesn't matter how old you are if you really want to be with that person then you should be with them. It sounds like an excuse to me. I was 16 when my husband and I got together and 18 when we had our first child. Yes sometimes I wanted to go out and have fun and do things i use to but not without my hub cause i love him and know i want to be with him and just cause your married doesn't mean you have to spend every second together and that you can't stil have a life cause you have kids. I have 3 and i still go out with my friends sometimes just not as often as i did before i had kids.