Why am I such a fool in this life?

Question

I have been fighting tooth & nail to find happiness & love, and everytime I think I've got it, I find myself punched in the stomach.
Why can't there be true happiness to ones soul in this life?

Answer 1

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

(((smile)))

One day at a time. This too will pass

Answer 2

Okee Dokee - you sound like you really mean this question and are expecting a serious answer, so I'll give you one (in the nicest possible way)

Have you got any idea how much it costs to be a really popular person?
The sort of person who, after entering a room of complete strangers, within 10 minutes will be surrounded by people wanting to talk to you?

Have you got any idea how much it costs to have the phone ringing every ten minutes with people asking you out to parties, on dates, for a drink, whatever?

I'll tell you how much - not a penny.

Let me tell you about Eve.
Eve is around 58 - she is fat, she is certainly ugly (to use her own words) and hasn't got a clue how to dress. Her hair's all over the place and her make-ups a disgrace, yet she is just like the person I was describing earlier on. Always surrounded by people - of both sexes.

You want to know how she achieves this?

She smiles a lot.

That's it - she smiles a lot.

If you smile at people, they will smile back.
It's no good doing a false smile. It's got to be a genuine smile.

It comes naturally to Eve, but if you are not that sort of person, you will just have to practice it.

Waste of time doing it in the mirror. What you think is a nice smile, others may not.

Nope, you just gotta get out there and smile at complete strangers. Something very hard to do - but keep working at it. You will be absolutely amazed at what you can achieve.

One more example.
There are two pubs quite near to where I live.

One has spent a fortune on the decor. Lovely seats, pretty flowers everywhere, nice music, good prices and busty barmaids.

The other one is a dusty old place. Hasn't seen a tin of pain for many a year - and it's always busier than the posh one.

Guess why!

The landlord is always chirpy, chatty and smiling.
Makes people feel at home

Okay?

Answer 3

I know several people who might have said the same thing.

I think I could have said it when I was in high-school or college, but not any more.

I don't think its a question of lowering your expectations (that implies accepting something inferior).

I think it is a question of completely getting rid of your expectations.

That may be a really hard thing to do, because they stem from your lifes experience.

I think a reasonable (but not perfect) analogy is how many times we go to the sequel of a great movie or a movie made from a book we have read and find it isn't as a good as we expected. I think that is because of our expectations.

If we could have just gone with the flow, then the movie would have been more enjoyable (thats where the analogy sucks.....it kind of trivialises the subject).

I had resigned myself to never finding a girl who I knew I could spend my life with and then suddenly one day she was standing on the other side of the room in a meeting I went to.
That was 16 years ago.
I have never met another person, before or since, that I felt that way about.

So I would say enjoy your life, be happy with yourself.
Add meaning to your own life.
Even if love doesn't follow, you can still be proud of yourself.

Answer 4

If you come at the world with hunger, you'll get your hands smacked away. There is no such thing as love and happiness, these are states of mind, and there are within yourself. Love yourself and others will love you. Be happy, and others will want to be around you. The world is there for the taking, but you have to come at it with the right attitude and frame of mind.

Happiness for the soul comes from being content, and true contentment comes from knowing when to be content. If you want more love and happiness, the question you should ask is; do you deserve it? Do you act in ways that inspire trust and warmth in others? Do you ask for more than you deserve?

Live your life excitedly moving in a forward direction and you're going to find out that people want to be around you, and the world will give you what you want. Focus on your career and have fun with friends. Go to bars, parties, and social events. Don't go to find love or happiness, go to be around people. If you meet more and more people, and provide them with good feelings and comfort, eventually love and happiness will find you.

The reason why you can't find what you want is your behavior. Change your behavior, adapt, and be flexible. Find new and better ways of having fun, new and better ways of meeting people, and new and better ways of feeling good. A fool would continue to do what doesn't work.

Answer 5

Honey trust me you'll find someone special, it just takes time and don't rush things maybe that's why you feel like your in love and everytime you think you got it you get punched in the stomach. You will find the right person trust me, I know how you feel, if you really find somone that you like and you just met them, take your time with that person, then maybe the more you share stuff about yourself and your life experiences you'll get closer and eventually you'll fall in love.Take your time get to know each other and while your doing that have fun. One thing that's really important is that your not a fool, it's the person that won't go out with you is a fool because they're giving up something good.

Answer 6

You are human, and there is no manual for living life. In order to find happiness and love you have to find yourself. Once you've done that everything else should fall into place. Try to look at it as everything happens for a reason. Each event in your life is just a stepping stone to where you are supposed to be. Learn from it and move forward. Love comes when you least expect it. Stop looking and it will find you. Good luck.

Answer 7

The only thing that would make you a fool in life, is if you continue to make the same choices, that lead to the mistakes that are causing your feelings of misery. You create everything around you all the time. You choose to live the way that you do. if you make a mistake, learn from it, and choose again. Only a fool would choose the same thing twice.

So are you a fool?

Only you can answer that.

Answer 8

Some people subscribe to the concept of "Fate". It is something which they can try to fight against but can never change.

I myself have had such a recurring-theme in my life: Every time I think I have found someone who really cares for me , when I try to reciprocate; it's like " Who the hell do you think you are --- to think I could actually care for you ?"

I hope this is not your fate.

Answer 9

me too. and now i'm toothless, tired, and out of ideas. but i can still smell the cologne of handsome men that have held me, hear the applause of the crowds i once pleased, and almost hear the music i used to dance to in those beautiful moments when "why not me?" was still "could it be?"

i wouldn't be sad today if i weren't overwhelmed with joy for at least one day. i'll hold on to those memories for now. Those teeth will grow back, and i'll try again some day. So will you.

Answer 10

Don't listen to Jim.

I think you need serious marriage counseling. If you can't afford it go the your church if you belong to one. This direction you are going is not good for your family. You must think of your children first and don't do anything that will jeopardize their happiness.

Answer 11

Listen, You are definitely trying too hard. I think things like your describing happen when you least expect it. Bring down the expectations. Don't be so hard on yourself, and just go with the flow.