what's your greatest fear?? how did you overcome it??

Answer 1

I have a fear of heights, although admittedly it's not a crippling fear. However, if I walk out onto the balcony of a room on the 20th floor, I feel very uneasy. The way I get over it is to walk up to the railing and (assuming the railing is sturdy) lean over it and look down. I then stay there until the uneasiness passes. After that, I can handle the situation and have no fear of heights. The effects seem to last for several days.

Although I don't pay attention to the fact, I'm certain that I enjoy the experience ("the rush") of looking down and the view it offers, so that might be positive reinforcement that ultimately helps me overcome that fear. If I were to look down and hate every moment of it, then leaning over the railing probably wouldn't help. In fact, it might make the problem worse.

I've said this in many answers to many questions on this forum, but only because it's ubiquitously true: To change behavior reliably, break the desired behavior down into manageable steps (goals) and only use positive reinforcement (a pat on the back, feeling good about your success, treating yourself with a piece of candy, etc.) when you succeed.

If you're afraid of spiders, start by looking at tiny spiders. If you don't feel afraid, reward yourself in some meaningful fashion. Keep doing this until you've mastered it. Next, look at larger spiders. Once you can handle those, get closer... eventually to a point where you can have one walk on your arm. As long as you do it gradually and use positive reinforcement, you should overcome your fears. It just takes patience and a willingness to try.

There is another technique, called counter-conditioning, which also works. Essentially, you've inadvertently been trained to fear something (such as spiders), so your goal is to create a new response that's incompatible with your fear response. To do this, start by looking at pictures of what you fear at a distance, and immediately rewarding yourself with a piece of candy. Bring the picture closer, and give yourself another reward. Then, when the picture is right in front of you, swap it out with a real one (a spider, for instance). Your brain should've learned that spiders mean you get a tasty treat to enjoy, which is a completely different and incompatible response with being deathly afraid.

It's the same thing as training your dog to run in the other room for a treat when a guest comes in the front door -- the dog can't jump all over the guest and run in the other room for the treat at the same time -- the 2 behaviors are incompatible.

So if you have a fear you need to get over, think of a response you could give that would be incompatible with your fear response, and train yourself to give that response instead, starting with less dramatic experiences and working your way up to what you fear the most.

Answer 2

My greatest fear was public speaking. I finally overcame it by getting up in front of 1000 people and making a presentation.

It worked.

Answer 3

my greatest fear it being alone my whole the only way i acn overcome it is find someone to spend my life with.