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Is it another way of sayin he's not into ME anymore? Or what?
When he compares me to other women it hurts me and makes me feel like im not good enough. When I try to talk to him about it he says im jealous, but really im just sad. He is psychologically breakin me down. What should i do?

2006-07-28 07:01:07 · 12 answers · asked by Mrs J 3 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

12 answers

Babe, if your husband really cared for you he would not be doing that. God made you the way he did, so stand proud and be happy. Pay no attention to husband or compare him to other men and see how he reacts. I feel all woman are one of Gods most beautiful creations, and that includes you.

2006-07-28 07:45:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2 1

First of all Honey go talk to someone, a professional, someone U can trust.
Second of all, Ur husband is having some insecuritiy problems of his own and he also needs to go talk to someone.
I was with a verbally abusive man for many years and I'll be the first to tell U, IT'S NOT UR FAULT. He will try to turn everything around on U when it's really him who has the problem. Having been in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship I can tell U that the emtional was FAR worst than the physical, see the bruises on the outside went away, but the ones on the inside didn't. See sweetie U have allowed him to destroy Ur self-esteem and Ur confidence in who U R. See U were good enough for him when U married him, so what has changed. Chances R probably not U but him. Maybe he's not as successful as he'd hoped, maybe he's loosing his hair, there are a number of reasons people put others down to make themselves feel better. But NONE of them are ok.
I'll bet Ur husband isn't as good looking today as he was the day U met him, but U don't go around comparing him to other guys.
Looks fade and if the two of U @ the end of the day cannot talk to one another and be comfotable being Urself around each other, well then U 2 need to have a VERY serious talk, maybe even with a counselor.
Some people will give U the advice, "well just do it back too him". Trust me that's not called for, don't stoop to that level, understand that's it's something going on inside of him and it has nothing to do with U.


Good Luck, I hope things work out 4 U both...

2006-07-28 07:15:52 · answer #2 · answered by HeartsOnFire 2 · 2 0

Please don t subject yourself to this kind of treatment. Or your children, if you have them. I was NEVER compared to other women, but my daughter is by her husband. HE is the problem. He HAS the problem. HE takes it out on you because he is unhappy with himself. He needs to get over it or get gone. You don t need to live like that. You don t. There s a couple of old expressions that are so true: MISERY LOVES COMPANY.
You ever notice how miserable people go around pooping on everyone else s life? "oh, look, there s a smiling happy person! Why should THEY be happy when I am so miserable? I think I ll go over there and eff up their day." The other two are: The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. & You never know what you got until it s gone. You know that grass is the same color when you do hop that fence, and when what you had is gone, you are usually very sorry and want it back, right? SO....don t get sucked into the misery with him. Show him the grass. Or leave for a little while until he does straighten up. Maybe then the grass in his yard will be the best grass in town.
Got to show some backbone. BE SERIOUS, look him straight in the eye, AND MEAN IT, when you tell him how it s going to go down, AND THEN FOLLOW THROUGH ON IT. In no uncertain terms, let him know you will leave, you do have places to go, YOU DON"T WANT TO GO, you want to be with him, BUT IF LEFT with no other choice, you WILL leave. YOU HAVE TO REALLY MEAN IT AND DO IT IF HE DOES NOT COOPERATE. Listen, I put up with this kind of sh*t for 30 YEARS. The day I really meant it, was the day things really changed. That was five years ago. Everyday I wonder what in the hell took me so long to grow a backbone and stand up for myself and not take his crap ANYMORE. Seriously, I f I had known IT WAS SO EASY, i WOULD HAVE DONE IT 30 YEARS AGO!!!

2016-09-09 04:12:09 · answer #3 · answered by Karen 1 · 1 0

He just sounds like an a$$........comparing someone to other people is totally ridiculous.....everyone is completely DIFFERENT to all other people.........if you were so inferior, why did he pick YOU for HIS wife??????

He sounds insecure and in dire need of a reality check, I agree with others here, start comparing him to other men, and give him a well earned dose of his own medicine.....and if he complains, remind him, if you can dish it out, you can take it!

I hate to recommend something so hurtful, and two wrongs really do not make a right, but this a$$wipe really needs to be taught a lesson. What he is doing is VERY cruel, and its physically IMPOSSIBLE to transform into someone else, and even if you could, he would eventually find problems with THAT too!

Best of luck to you, remember, its not you, its HIM!

2006-07-28 08:17:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

It's just an instinct, if he's doing it a little and not talking about it. If he's actually talking about it, he's probably got a problem you can't fix.
On the other hand, it should be easy enough for you to compare him to other guys. That might sober him up real quick.
Maybe, depending on what else is going on...

2006-07-28 07:13:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

reverse the tables let him see how it feels and when you say it mean it so he knows your serious he just might not like it and you as a woman must know that you are beautiful and smart and you deserve to be treated with respect especially as his wife he can be doing this because he knows it gets to you and he gets a thrill watching you react reverse it on him and if it dont work when he says something about another lady dont let him see you get sad or upset you will be but he cant see it instead tell him what changes he wants you to make pay for them or shut up and if he isnt happy with u he can move on

2006-07-28 07:10:43 · answer #6 · answered by teresa d 4 · 0 0

Tell him for comparing you to other women, you've yet to see any of these women trying to break down your door to "steal" him away. If they thought that much of him, a wedding ring isn't going to stop them.

2006-07-28 07:24:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

How long have you been married? This is a common tactic for abusers. They gradually start breaking you down until you're convinced that you had better stay because you're so ugly/fat/worthless/stupid that no one else would ever want you.

2006-07-28 07:09:41 · answer #8 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 2 0

you can either get even, or you can lay down the law! when ever he mentions another woman or her build, cut him off the that evening! just tell him your mentally working on changing to compete with those other women...so leave you alone!

Good luck!

2006-07-28 07:05:00 · answer #9 · answered by City slicker 5 · 1 0

He is a jerk......you are his wife....which should make you the best there is, in his eyes.....tell him that he choose you, and you accepted, and that made you the best he could do......if that is a bad thing.....then he lost out too....but at one time, I am sure he thought you were the best....if not now....he is jsut a jerk

2006-07-28 07:16:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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