Have anyone ever been through this?

Question

My first anniversary is sundayJuly 30th and my husband and I have been seperated for almost two months. it's just starting to hit me bacause the day is coming soon. we had so many plans and now I'm going to be alone. I have two daughters to keep me busy that day but it's not the same when you're suppose to be clebrating with you spouse. I need some advice please help. I'm crying inside evey day but it's so hard to deal with.

Answer 1

Several years ago I went through this. My marriage broke up after about 6 months and I thought I was going to die from the heartbreak. I really leaned on my friends and tried to stay busy with hobbies and such. Eventually I gained some clarity on the situation and stopped blaming myself. I decided that life was too short to cry about something and someone I couldn't change so I made a conscious decison to move on with my life. Now I have someone in my life and while we deal with normal relationship problems, I know that it is possible to be happy and find love again. Try not to think about the plans you had and make some plans with your daughters for the day and for your future. Maybe go on a picnic or a short road trip to go exploring. Focus on YOU and try to enjoy every day! You are going to go through a normal grieving process but the sooner you start living again the shorter that process will be. If you ever just want to talk feel free to contact me. I wish you and your children all the best!

Answer 2

well..firstly stop counting days for the d-day to come and take it easy . u did live together for 10 months and am sure u have bundles of happy memories of that time too (besides the unhappy ones ) so if u and ur ex are still on platonic terms then probably u cud call him or meet him n wish him for old times' sake ..theres nothing wrong in that . I know u wud desperately want to see him that day ..so just do it . why torment urself for a smile . u can plan it b4hand that u want to live it as a family on just that day. But if ur not on talking terms then just forget it . Go to church (or whichever holy place u visit ) and thank god for what u have now or had in the past .Smile a lot n be happy for the love that u experienced for whatever period u cud . Take ur daughters out for a party . The golden rule is ..DONT stay alone . The more u keep urself in company of others the better for u to ease ur pain . Try malls or clubs or get togethers . i know its going to b tuff ..but dont worry u can smile over it . I know because i have done that too . Gud luck dear .

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear this, You will have t get distracted that day and hope that the day ends soon so you can move on. Stop thinking in the "what ifs" and try to concentrate on other things. Easier said than done.
There is no way of avoiding this pain, but you can try to schedule something to keep you occupied rather than being at home crying. If you feel that you have to deal with the pain and cry , then do that, as crying relieves anxiety and helps you feel better.

Good luck

Answer 4

First of all ~ you are not going to be alone. If this is a separation it is probably only temporary.

Secondly ~you say you have 2 daughters and I guess you are holding it together for their sakes. It's okay to cry when they aren't around and release some of the hurt and anger. It's healthy.

You don't state why you are separated but if you don't get back together then it wasn't meant to be.

A woman who focuses her life on her two daughters while facing a personal crisis is a woman who deserves a great guy. Rest assured, sweetie ~ you will find a man who recognizes what a terrific woman you are.

Answer 5

You aren't going to be alone, you have two precious gifts that need their Momma. Sunday morning you and them girls get up, dress up in your prettiest outfits, and go to church and then go and eat lunch somewhere. If you don't attend church, then go to the movies. Do something with your daughters! No money, make some sandwichs and have a picnic. Don't sit home dwell what could or should have been-you take that day and make a new tradition for you and your little family. My friend got remarried on the anniversay of her divorce. Her new husband wanted her to remember that day to be filled good memories. So, start something to do every year. Throw you and the girls a pajama party. Watch movies and eat junk food. Invite friends over and have a bar-b-que. Just don't sit home and feel sorry for yourself. Have a picnic with the girls, get a babysitter- then call some friends-dress up and go out that night. Make that day a new beginning-not a ending...God bless us all.........

Answer 6

Perhaps I'm harder than most women, but I would not consider the anniversary day but anything but an ordinary day. He's not there. I know that something like that can be hard, but think of the reason 'why' you two separated in the first place.

Answer 7

Allow yourself to be sad and mourn. July 30 is a day that holds promises that never came to be. It's understandable that you're dreading that day. The best advice I can give is just do whatever it is you need to do to get through the day. If you feel like crying, then cry. Just do whatever you need to do and know that you're doing the right thing.

Answer 8

Me and mines were separated for awhile on those special days like the one your about to go through. However, I have to tell you to look at it as if it were any other day and keep going on. If you come to find love with each other again good, but if not you have to keep living. Time heals all wounds, even the ones of the heart.

Answer 9

I do not get the point, you want to celebrate a year that lasted 10 months? I you are apart due to a argument, you better fixed up,
otherwise anniversaries could keep coming while you alone...

Answer 10

Just because you're separated doesn't mean you can't go out on a date. He's probably feeling the same way about all this. I can't help being a romantic. Otherwise, if you can't spend some time with him do something for yourself. Get a spa treatment or spend it with your girlfriends.