Pls help, my husband wants to expand our relationship, now what?

Question

We have been married 6 years now, recently he starts talking about fantasy's, comes to truth after a few beers the other night that what he really wants is to see me w/another girl. I am not apauled, cause been there done that once, & he knows it. So I entertained the idea for him for fantasy sake, & come to find out he'd like in on the action as well. So a couple nights later(sober) he wants to know if I've thought about it anymore. I'm not sure what to say cause i not sure what kind of realationship that would lead us to. So he asks me "or did you just hope it was a drunk think & would go away.(he's never talked to me that mean b4) I told him not that I hoped, but think it prob was a drunk thing & prob will go away. He gets pissed & completely turns away & gives me the cold shoulder. He's never treated me like this b4, what's going on?

I am very happy w/our life the way it is sex & all. Am I gonna loose my guy to this, cause theres no way I would give in to it now. Why has he gotten so mean?

We have to little girls too, not even in school yet.
Pls any opinions, Im very hurt by this right now.

Answer 1

Because he is trying to act like a big baby to get want he wants. Tell him you talked about for the heat of the moment. Tell him your afraid it would change the relationship it usually does anyhow. Fantasies usually are better then the real thing so I have been told. Being in love is more important then having a threesome.

Answer 2

If he wants the fantasy to come true and if he wants to be a part of it, is does he want to see you with another man and for him to be in that action as well.
It sounds to me like he needed a little bottle courage (drunk) to even talk about it at all,
do not please him by going along with the fantasy unless you are prepared for a rocky road, I wonder if he could handle it, even you being with another woman and him right there.
I had a friend that was the same way and it backfired on him, they eneded up in a swingers lifestyle with the wife getting more action than him, needless to say, he could not handle it and they are now divorced.
Good Luck, this is an issue that you and him need to confront. somehow he has to understand your point of view, I have had fantasies but I also know what reality is. No person , male or female should be made to do something that they do not want to!

Answer 3

Don't just let him know, but make him understand that was something in your past and that you didn't get married to see your husband sleep with another woman. Remember you can do bad all by yourself and you don't need any help. Has he thought about the two of you sleeping with another man instead of a woman. And if he has a problem with it you ask, him did you think I was just drunk and this would all go away. Don't sell yourself short and don't let yourself be used, because when he's done making a fool of you he'll leave you anyway if you think it's on his mind now.

Answer 4

If you add another person, it will be the down fall of the marriage. You'll be divorced before you know it and you'll hate each other.

Seek AA meetings because it sounds like he's a drunk and probably a wimp without booze.

If he persists, tell him your ready to add another person to the relationship and make him really believe its going to me another man and not a woman. You can always say, "been with another woman, done that. Its time for something new."

If he calls your bluff, you either give it up to the new guy and realize your marriage is over and he never really loved you as much as you loved him, or he'll get super upset and he'll shut his wimpy mouth for good.

Answer 5

I think maybe it was just the beer talking, and he is embarrassed that he let it slip out to you. Fantasies are one thing, but to actually go that far in real life is another. I think it would only lead to problems.

Maybe you can put your little ones to bed and ask him if you can talk about the situation. Then, just tell him that you are glad he trusted you enough to tell you something like that and let him know that you don't feel it is what's best for your marriage.

Good luck.

Answer 6

To put it simple. He wants to cheat on you with your permission. It's true. I mean, when you involve someone else in your marriage like that, it will cause problems. But what he is doing is testing you to see how far you will let him go with this fantasy thing, and then when you tell him that you've had enough, he will eventually cheat on you (without you knowing about it). That's why he's being so mean to you. You better do something about it right now because this situation could get ugly real fast.

Answer 7

He is living in a fanasy world and you gave him hope that his fantasies would come true. Just be firm, it will pass. He has reached the 6-7 year point in a marriage where sex is the same ole same ole...spice it up with role playing, get out of the house and screw somewhere else. things will liven up and all will return to something other than where he wants to go ....today.

Answer 8

I Have been married for 15 years. We have great sex, but my husband loves watching porn and that bothers me. His fantasy would be to have another person (a girl) in on it too. But you have to leave it at that. Maybe talk about what you'd do etc...If you actually did it what would that mean for you? What if he really liked it and wanted to do it more, or more people, where would it end? I don't think guys have a limit as to how far they'll go. You need to set your own boundary and stick to it. Explain to him how far you're willing to go and he'll have to respect that.

Answer 9

I will never let somebody into my sexual life. You asking for trouble. I know this one man did the same thing to his wife. But she doesn;t know he participate in couple 3 way. I don't know his wife and nothing I can do about it. The bad news is, he might cheat on you anyway. I recommended you listen Ellen Kriedman www.lightyourfire.com. She really good. While you at it listen to her. Just click on the little TV to the left it about 23-25 minutes. It worth it. Good Luck. I will also try to talk to pastor, marriage counselor. You need help on this before it get to bad.

Answer 10

You are on the right track, don't give in to his fantasies. It would change the nice relationship you have with him right now to something you don't want. He shouldn't be giving you the cold shoulder because you don't want to do what he suggests. Keep talking to him and try to get over this hurdle. God bless.