My live in boyfriend of 11/2 yrs is talking to girls online, is he cheating?

Question

I installed a keylogger on MY computer, cuz he was staying up all night online. He has been talking about sex and stuff and watching girls on cams. He has no idea I know. Do you consider this cheating? What should I do?

we have sex at least once a day, so I dont think that's the problem.

Answer 1

Something is seriously wrong in your relationship if he is doing that..he could think the relationship is old and therefore he is looking for something new...maybe he just needs more excitement in his life...my suggestion is ask him why he stays up all night and see if he confesses to what he was doing...if he doesn't then come out and say you know what he has been doing and why wouldn't he admit it to you..if he is not being faithful to you then there is no reason for you to stay with him when you can move on to bigger and better things..and yes it is considered cheating because he is talking about sex with other girls..he may not be doing it but even the thought counts..

Answer 2

Well no, not in this case if he does not actually know the girls and they are random online cammie girls then this is more a sign of a personal problem he has rather than cheating on you - im sure you have watched documentarys where the wife found her husband had a porn addiction 3 years into the marriage and she felt terrible that maybe she was not pleasing her man - but he had that problem before they got married and just plain had a problem - I think he may have the same - you should talk to him about it to ascertain whether he is cheating on you with girls he knows or he has an addiction don't jump to conclusions

Answer 3

There's physical cheating and mental cheating. He's mentally 'somewhere else' and visualizing himself with someone else while he's on-line. To me, that's cheating. I would try and catch him in the act, so that way you don't have to confess that you're technically 'spying' on him. The questions I wonder: what caused you to install the keylogger in the first place? Are there other problems in the relationship that are leading him to go elsewhere? It's time for a good talk. You need to explain to him that doing this is disrespectful of you and it makes you feel... Good luck. I wish you the best in this difficult situation.

Answer 4

Girl let me tell u a few things he might not be physically cheating but mentally he is, he is getting he sexually fantisies through other girls which in a way is watching a porn, but the problem is, is that he has a personal connection with them so he can hook them with them to have a one on one things, bc if u let him go without sex he will probaly go to them and then if yall break up he will have some other girl lined up for when u leave and then he will have no more interest in u, u betta put him in line now or he will actually physically cheat. Do something now!

Answer 5

I say that if it's something he feels he needs to hide or keep secret from you, that's cheating. (Maybe not some people's definition of cheating, but it still is a form of cheating and has the potential to lead to an affair.) It's a situation that should be dealt with and not ignored.

You should think about what you want before confronting him. Are you willing to let him go if he won't change his ways? If so, then go ahead and confront him about it and ask him why he feels he needs to do that. If you want him to change his ways and stay with him, then you should avoid approaching him in such a way to make him defensive.

Something that is important is to not make excuses for his behavior. Don't try to make it "all right" for you--it isn't. He should respect the way you feel and if he doesn't, then he doesn't deserve you.

Hope this is helpful...

Answer 6

Yes I do. It may appear innocent because it's only online but I know of marriages that have broken up because of online relationships. You must've already suspected something to have put a keylogger on your computer. Confront him. There's obviously something missing in your relationship together that has diverted him to the fantasy world of cyberspace. If he can't come up with an honest answer that has to do with BOTH of you, you are losing nothing but a "cheating boyfriend". Life's too short.

Answer 7

Yes, he's cheating. You've been with him for almost 12 years, don't waste any more time on this loser. If he hasn't met up with one of these girls by now, he's planning on it. If he's staying up all night to be online instead of being in bed with a real woman, then he's obviously not that into your relationship b/c why have virtual sex when it's waiting for you in another room of the house? Dump him and don't look back.

Answer 8

Tell him you know... I don't know exactly what this keylogger thing records but just cassualy mention you know that he has been (insert the worst thing here) and this will shock and scare him, don't tell him how you know either. He will probably do it again but he will try to be more sneaky... Anyways you have to decide how you want it to end but if you confront him thats the best way to find out why he's doing it, and the only chance to get him to stop.
my oppinion is that looking at whatever on a computer monitor is not nearly as bad as going out and doing it in person.

Answer 9

Confront him about it. It's not fair to you if he is being unfaithful. He may not be physically with these girls but he could be getting some kind of emotional feelings from them. Which is also a form of cheating. Don't let him tell you it's something that it's not either. Don't let him try to explain his way out and totally justify things. What he's doing is wrong.

Answer 10

Ahh find me a man who isn't looking at porn or some nasty stuff online and you may as well give up. However if he is having emotional personal "realtionships" with one certain female then that is cheating. By the way that male freind at work or the male friend you have known all your life who you share personal stuff with, well that is cheating as well. Just the way life is.