I'm happily been engaged for 6 months and was planning my wedding when my ex called me one night,i was surprised he even remembered my number,anyways we talked for about 4 mins and he told me he missed me alot and wanna know if i could give him another chance,now this is the guy who got me pregnant and told me the baby wasnt his,hurt me in so many different ways its crazy,he told me he changed and wants us to get back together, its been more than a year i picked up what little pieces i had left and moved on,now i'm engaged and i'm so confused and not so naive.I need to hear from somebody who doesnt know us.What Should I do?
2006-07-28 06:30:34 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i couldn't keep the baby,and i know my fiance for 5 yrs i didnt sucker him into anything he knew what was going on...i asked for your advice not to belittle me and insult me ,if you're going to be rude please dont waste my time and answer my question.i'm sure i could report abuse but that main seem childish and a big waste of my time
2006-07-28 07:03:23 · update #1
Don't just move on ... RUN as fast as you can from your ex. The fact that he got you pregnant and put you through misery, tells me he is a controlling person. He knows you are getting married and all of a sudden he is SO in love with you and ready to change? I don't think so. He's jealous. He doesn't really want you but he doesn't want anyone else to have you either. I can guarantee you, if you left everything and went back to him, he would be pulling the same garbage a few months from now. I think you know all of this, but just needed to hear it from someone else, huh? You CAN and SHOULD get away from that man.
2006-07-28 06:37:19 · answer #1 · answered by Smiley1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Might seem stupid??? No. Deifnitely stupid. Let me try and figure out your story. You were with a man who knocked you up and put you through hell. So you broke up. And over the course of a little more than a year you have started seeing someone else and gotten engaged (which was 6 months ago so you got engaged after a little more than 6 months). Now your ex wants to get back together with you. And now you want to know if you're confused or naive. Well it's obvious you're confused. How you could get engaged to someone in such a short amount of time is beyond anyones belief much less while you were pregnant with another mans child. Sounds like you took the first man you could sucker into marrying you and now you have an ex you dont love either coming into the picture. You should break off the engagement. You don't love him. You never did. He probably helped you out and you felt a little bond and convinced yourself that you loved him. What you need to do is go back to your ex. That is who you deserve to be with for screwing up your fiancees life. That way your fiancee can move on and you can be miserable with your ex like you want to be.
2006-07-28 06:58:44 · answer #2 · answered by jdscorrupted 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, first of all your question is not at all stupid. This is serious and dont try to name issues like this so lightly. Try and talk to some friends too if possible...after all people in person and in front of you will be of more help.
Anyways, about what you asked....please try and move on. I know if you had a deep relationship with this guy, it will be very difficult to just let go. I must say he did a very wrong thing calling you and asking another chance at a moment when you are trying to get a new life. No matter what had happened in your past with him, its over and done. Be strong and dont lose your stability. Ofcourse, if he had contacted you any other time before....that would be a totally different story. Now he has to understand your feelings and you should make sure he understands too.
I can just go on and on. But its upto you to do the right thing. As I said be strong and make the right decisions. All the best. Take care.
2006-07-28 06:45:44 · answer #3 · answered by zhish_blaster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably already know the answer. Here's my opinion for what it's worth. You say you've been HAPPILY engaged, why mess with that? Any guy that would turn on you and say the baby wasn't his is not worth your time. You will only end up getting hurt again and hurting your fiance too. You don't want to do that do you? You know, there are so many people out there who think everything is a game. It would be a win for him if he broke you and this new guy up. Then he would probably be on is way again to do the same to someone else. A lot of us have been there. Good luck , and remember, you are worth so much more than a man who would hurt you so badly.
2006-07-28 06:39:44 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are curious about this guy from the past. That's not that unusual. But how can you know he has changed? More than likely he's the same guy he always was. Don't see your curiosity as a "sign" of anything. Lots of people wonder about people from their past, but he had his chance and his time has passed.
Use your brains and look at who has demonstrated that he will be a good marriage partner and a father for your children. Choose wisely.
Ignore the old love and focus your time, attention, and energy on loving the man you have now. That old curiosity will fade away, and the love you have for your fiance will grow, and really, isn't he the one who deserves you?
2006-07-28 06:54:05 · answer #5 · answered by happygirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you loved the guy you are about to get married to you wouldn't be confused and since you are confused you must still have feelings for the ex so I would call the wedding off but make no commitment to the ex and sort through your feelings until you are absolutely sure that your fiance is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.
2006-07-28 06:36:46 · answer #6 · answered by todayillsee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is your life and your decision. But from personal experience it doesn't seem to me like most men change their ways. Not to say never but it rarely happens. Does the man your with now treat you and your child good? If he treats the child like his own and loves it like his own and is a good father to child that is not his own biological child then you have someone really special. Do you love your current fiance, do you feel like you can't live w/ out him? I believe you should marry someone because you can't live w/ out them not because you can live w/ them. Or because your not sure if you will ever find someone else that will love you and want to marry you. You obviously know your situation much better than I do, but If the current guy is great and you really do love him I say stay w/ him. You could end up ruining a very good thing by messing w/ or even talking to your ex. Remember if your playing w/ fire your bound to get burned. Whatever you decide good luck to you and best wishes.
2006-07-28 06:39:52 · answer #7 · answered by frog_h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick with your fiance. I speak from personal experience. There is no rule that says you and your ex can't be friends but in the long run trust me.... STAY WITH THE FIANCE! That is how i met my husband. My ex hurt me and left me to pick up the pieces and when i finally got the guts to move on i met my husband. Shortly before we got married my ex came back and tried to get another chance and as confused as i was i chose my husband and i have never looked back and have no regrets about my choice. My husband is a wonderful man, the most wonderful man on earth!!!
2006-07-28 06:49:29 · answer #8 · answered by Red 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay engaged and move on(if you love the guy). The ex sounds like a total jerk...people don't change that much. Imagine if you broke your engagement to a man who you loved and was good to you, got back w/ the ex, and then a few months later he got you pregnant again and said that baby wasn't his. Think about your future.
2006-07-28 06:52:46 · answer #9 · answered by jen52978 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You picked up the pieces... So keep them intact, Im assuming you are basing this marriage on love, and if so then there shouldnt even be a question. A guy like that can change when its conveinent, know what I mean?? Dont ruin a good thing, if he calls again, tell him you would appreciate it if he didnt call again, you have moved on with your life, thank you very much & good bye!
2006-07-28 06:36:19 · answer #10 · answered by Katz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋