He has not done anything to her but my friends tell me she's just use to her dad.Is it wrong of me when I tell her she don't haf to like him but she has to respect him?He loves her to death he has no kids of his own.My daughter is making this hard for me.Any ideas?
2006-07-28 06:10:20 · 16 answers · asked by dccuttie75 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I would sit her down and tell her that nobody can replace her dad and that your boyfriend isnt trying to replace him. And that if she doesnt like him thats ok...but you do and she still has to give him the same amount of respect he gives her. And get your boyfriend to remind her every once and a while that he cares about her. My mom and dad got a divorce when I was 7...and my mom started dating someone. I hated him at first but he showed me that he cared and after a little while I began to like him. Now he is my step dad. And he is more of a father to me then my dad is.
2006-07-28 06:27:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 13⤊ 2⤋
If your daughter does not like him then there is something wrong in the relationship, kids seem to have a six sense about things. Especially when it comes too their parents.(more so with their MUM there is a link---no one can take that away.) Also you have to think about asking her, what does she think about the situation, how long ago did she loose her father. If it is only been a few months then please ask you fiance to back of a little bit, if he loves you enough he will, then you can reasure that he will not be taking her fathers place, but of it has been a few years then its time that she has to face the fact that DAD is not the center of MUMs life anymore.
2006-07-28 13:36:36 · answer #2 · answered by deehart10 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say give her some time to come around! After all she is only 10 and she is probably like "my dad is the one and only guy for my mom"......i know because my stepsister is like that with her mom. Anyway she doesn't have to like your fiancee, but in all cost she has to respect him. And your fiancee should not be trying to buy your daughter's love anyway. I mean if you guys have been buying her gifts and she hasn't come around...I say stop buying them and save your money for something better for the two of you. Honestly I would tell her to suck it up....not trying to be mean or anything, but you chose him and she chose you and whether your daughter likes it or not that's that!! But I say one day the two of you or just you sit down with her and ask her she feels about the whole thing!!! That may help you and your family with things!! And she might actually open up to you!!
2006-07-28 13:22:17 · answer #3 · answered by Jessica Renee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you asked her what she doesn't like? Maybe take her to a professional to talk about it. I don't mean to scare you but sometimes things are not what they appear, and you would rather be safe then sorry.
At 10 years old you have to put her first in this relationship she has no other choice but to be with you for the next 8 years, its not like she is 17 or so and going to be leaving soon.
Parents have a responsibility to there children, they chose to bring them into this world the kids did not choose.
Good luck and remember you are your child's best advocate
2006-07-28 13:18:30 · answer #4 · answered by Joy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my 8 year old did the same thing... i agree with your friends, she is used to her dad. Give her time and maybe she'll come round. If he hasn't done anything to her, then give her all the time she needs, but explain to her that you have a life too and he will be in it,and if she tries to do/say anything to make the relationship go bad,then tell her that she needs to accept this new man and to "get over herself." I have been married 10 years now and she accepted him as daddy,and now they get along great,as he is the only daddy she ever knew.
2006-07-28 13:15:15 · answer #5 · answered by Dragonflygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She'll soften up with time. Right now she sees him as taking her dads place.
The more things you can do together as a family will help. She'll ease up as she gets to know him better and like anything......you have to earn respect.
And your fiance will earn hers when she is ready. Just give her time mom, she's got alot going on at her age, and having a new dad to contend with is a pretty big deal!
2006-07-28 13:20:23 · answer #6 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if your daughter cant stand him or respect him u have to decide your daughter or your fiancee. u can have a good relationship with your fiancee or a good relationship with your daughter. or there is the possibility that you might of told her too soon but if i were u id just wait until she gets more used to him. but remember shes only 10 u cant put that much pressure on her
2006-07-28 13:19:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is going to take her some time to get used to have a new man around her. The best thing I can suggest to you I guess would be that you guys spend time together and do something as a family. Let him talk to her and spend time with her and see if he can bond with her. It will take time for her to come around and get used to having a stepfather if he is used to her real dad being around. Give her time and try and spend time together with her and she should adjust to the idea. Make sure that she knows that he is not here to replace her real dad, he is supposed to be a friend to her.
2006-07-28 13:17:05 · answer #8 · answered by busyliz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should respect him, but don't loose him either. I was 16 when my mom met my step dad and I did not like him at all until I was 18 years old and moved out the home. Now I like him more than my biological father.
2006-07-28 13:17:21 · answer #9 · answered by Kenya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 3 step children. I love them to death, but they all had problems with me at some point. All I did was keep telling them that I loved them and they couldn't run me off, no matter how hard they tried. No you are not wrong. You both just need to love her. She'll come around. Mine did.
2006-07-28 13:17:28 · answer #10 · answered by vikki 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has to understand that she's ten.Also that you are the boss and you make the rules,right? you are a grown woman and should be able to do what you want as long as its in good taste for your daughter. Yes she should be considered in any relationship you have cause she's always gonna be there. But if he's in her best interest and your heart is in it,then follow it. this is your life ,dont you want to be happy, and eventually when your daughter sees that he isnt going any where,and you are happy,that she'll be happy too.your in my prayers
2006-07-28 13:21:59 · answer #11 · answered by Petunia247 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋