my husband is interested in mastrubating then in sex with me, we don't have sex until and unless i take a initiative or make the first move, even if i create the atmosphere, before he comes home he is never the first one to make a move and if i don't make the move it never happens yyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? i am good look female, and i am interested in new adventures, but he even never tries a new position also?he was never interested in sex from the day of our marriage? why he loves mastrubating more then sex??????
2006-07-28 05:53:36 · 13 answers · asked by cc20 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes i have asked him this, he says he is too tired for sex
2006-07-28 05:59:33 · update #1
i have told him it hurts me alot, but then he says i have do all the sex on my own with him, every time it is the same situation, i have told him i will not sleep with until and unless he stops mastrubating , but he does not take it seriously, this way we have been separated for about 2 months, he says mastrubating is like a sleeping pill for him, even if we have sex once in a 2months or so, he never ejacuates with me, he mastrubates later on
2006-07-28 06:18:56 · update #2
I have the same problem but my husband initiate the sex most of the time and sometimes me. He likes porn (which i hated in him) and he beat himself while I'm at work which is totally, totally wrong (he thinks it's not)... he said that he was horny then and I'm not home so he j/off ...That's like a slap on my face....I tried telling him that it's hurting my feelings about him j-ing/off...he got so upset about it...so, so now....im re-thinking about my marriage because sex is kinda....fading and I'm a very sexually active woman and I want my husband all the time...i'm not ugly and i have a nice body, but and boobs, so why can't he make love to me instead of his hand....
so, my suggestion....stop asking or showing him that you want sex. tell him next time that you're not in the mood. start working out and make urself very pretty and buy some nice clothes that will show ur cleavage...and then walk around the house and show him your nice, tight body that everyone's wanting and he is not getting it today, tonight, later on...or never...then dump his ***....
2006-07-28 06:08:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is addicted to masturbation. It is easier than all that goes with intimate sex with you.
My husband is the same. He even said he preferred masturbation over sex. Gee! now I feel real sexy! NOT! He uses porn to get off. I also think my husband is addicted to porn. (yes, I said addicted!)
This will hurt your marriage if it doesn't change. I have been dealing with this issue for 13 years and am ready to just call it quits. As a matter of fact, I found him with his laptop last night, looking at porn. He'll never change so I am thinking that I need to just leave that part of my marriage. I no longer want to have sex with him. Luckily, I am getting older and don't really care anymore if I have sex with him or not. He can have his 'porn parties'. Just makes it hard not to have an affair.
One other thing, men need to masturbate. It is in their biology and natural. They need to keep the supply of sperm 'fresh'. If they don't and the body has to re-absorb the sperm all the time, it can cause prostate problems down the road. I never denied the need for my husband to, it is what he does it to (porn) that is the problem for me.
Try this site to help you with communicating your needs:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com
2006-07-28 06:44:15 · answer #2 · answered by Twisted Maggie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He maybe tired but there are ways of working around it. If he likes to j/o give him different places on your body to let him do so,
get some toys and play while he is doing it, you will get the pleasure, he will get the pleasure from watching and pretty soon he'll think you are liking the toys too much,
he'll change his mind about having sex with you..............
Plus it's hard for him to sleep with all the buzzing going on! So you will have the upper hand...either give it up or be even more tired!
2006-07-28 06:05:53 · answer #3 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people become addicted to porn. It's sad but true. I was in a serious relationship with a man that had the same problem. We didn't overcome it. It led to all sorts of problems. But I didn't confront him with the issue either. I was too afraid to do so. I didn't want to hurt his feelings or my own. You can't fight what you don't know... and you can't fight the man's hands after all. Check out the link below. There might be some helpful hints or resources there.
http://www.no-porn.com/
2006-07-28 06:38:29 · answer #4 · answered by Mary J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds crazy huh? My wife is the same way. It's hard to get her to do anything, but I crave so much of those new adventures your talking about. Some people are just not into sex.
Does he masturbate to porno? If so, I would say that your husbands problem is that he wants other women and lots of 'em, but can't have them. Just take care of it yourself. I know it's not nearly the same, but if you can make yourself feel good do it.
2006-07-28 06:19:11 · answer #5 · answered by Squeeze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably has masterbated so much that that is all he knows. He needs to find the pleasure in having a wife to help him with the feelings he can get by having sex. Good luck.
2006-07-28 06:01:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's messed up - BIGTIME!!
I don't know why a dude would rather "Choke the Hog" than be with his woman! I love everything about women!!
You need to talk to him about this, let him know how you feel and see if you can't come to some middle ground!
Good Luck!
Aloha!
2006-07-28 07:02:06 · answer #7 · answered by gabriel_demus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried to talk about it and how it makes you feel? If this continues after you've talked maybe you should seek marriage counseling.
2006-07-28 06:04:02 · answer #8 · answered by need to know 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably only interested in pleasing himself
2006-07-28 06:01:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to find yourself another man to fulfill your needs - get an open marriage...
2006-07-28 05:57:58 · answer #10 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋