No my heart does not beat
No my eyes do not see
No the warm summer heat I shall never know
Did you even think of me on that day
When you listned to what others had to say
Your to young to be a mother is what they had to say
If you had listend to your heart
I would have been 5 today
I could have been a ballerina
A girl shopping at the mall
I could have been a great football star
Or just great with a bat and ball
But I guess we will never know
Because of your choice
to get rid of me
I am not angry
I just wonder why
So I guess this is goodbye.
2006-07-28 05:21:57 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
That is a great poem. I love doing poetry.
2006-07-28 05:25:02 · answer #1 · answered by tepolt1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's too simple. it doesn't reflect the difficult choice that women have to make, and men don't. it doesn't say anything about if the kid had grown up and not had a father, how pissed off it might be, or how it would never never even get to spend time with it's mother because she was too busy all the time working to support it. it doesn't say anything about the possible abuse that could have been inflicted on the child because of a lack of supervision. or how it might have grown up hungry. it doesn't reflect how the mother was able to finish school, get a job, and start a family later in life and how much happy that family is because it waited. it doesn't reflect so many aspects of making such a difficult decision.
And the reason I don't think it's a very sad poem is because i know that all of these other bad things could have also been possiblities. a lot of people wish they had never been born. and that's what is really sad.
2006-07-28 05:52:07 · answer #2 · answered by mirage 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It says a lot, but I hope that one day you can be happy and find a way to say the opposite. Our writing is a great way to release some of this though. I also believe that just because we write a poem does not always make it the literal truth or nescessarily the way we are feeling this day? I would say keep writing as much as you can and one day you might get published.
2006-07-28 05:31:53 · answer #3 · answered by Friend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it needs punctuation, think about breaking it up into stanza's you're capitalizing just about every line that doesn't need it. try the first three lines as
My heart does not beat
and my eyes do not see
the warm summer heat
I shall never know.
then start a new stanza. however the first line has nothing to do with summer heat why would your heart not beat?
it seems to be a little jumpy but i think you've got a good idea so work with it
good luck
2006-07-28 05:28:08 · answer #4 · answered by christina s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Dan B.....this is a beautiful poem, very sad. Sometimes simplicity is the best way to bring across a point. At the end of the day, your writing is for you alone, whether people like it or hate it doesnt matter, it's how the writing impacts on you. i write alot of poetry, and i think that poetry is the one style of writing that has no bounds, its like painting, or drawing with words. you can create the picture as and how you like to, things like punctuation and "literary correctness" have no bearing, its the pictures, thoughts, feelings you provoke in the reader. and this is a very deep, thought provoking piece of writing and i like it alot! keep up the good work.
2006-07-28 07:50:27 · answer #5 · answered by Kismet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clearly the answers you received from people -so far- are from two groups.
Those who are against abortion and those who are for abortion.
The poem itself reflects the feelings of the author. And the poem works.
The value of the poem is not ones position on abortion but rather the message being sent by the author.
A sad but beautiful poem.
2006-07-28 06:47:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it fails to address the children who are brought into this world and abused and neglected. In a perfect world every child would be loved, cared for, and healthy. Life isn't like that. Sometimes hard choices must be made.
2006-07-28 05:27:36 · answer #7 · answered by clarity 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its exceedingly poignant and that i'm sorry on your loss and it does a marvelous interest in conveying thoughts that we journey for the period of loss. I enjoyed it as this is an quite sturdy and nicely written poem. additionally thank you for answering my question notwithstanding I wouldnt sense comfortable using your poem with out supplying you with credit.
2016-10-08 10:27:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A fetus can't think. I hate this poem. There are a bunch out there like it. Why don't they ever bring up the child you wish you had aborted? You know, the slacker who is still at home at 25.
2006-07-28 06:07:37 · answer #9 · answered by anonymous 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very sad. I guess that means it's good since it's able to evoke emotions from its readers!! :)
2006-07-28 05:25:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋