There's a firend of mine that reminds me of a person that I strongly dislike. He reminds me of the dude's personality, and somewhat his looks. Everytime I'm out havig fun with him and my firends, being by him makes me very uncomfortable. But he's very very nice to me. So, one day I told him that I don't think this firendship is going to work out for me, and then I told him why. Now, I feel so bad. I want to apologize to him, but yet again, I don't want to. What should I do?
2006-07-28 05:21:46 · 20 answers · asked by hot_liz_139 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
yes, u can apologize if it's going to bother you. he sounds like a nice guy, and it's not his fault that he happens to resemble someone who was bad to you. if it's a close friend, i would tell him maybe in an email or something, that there was someone in ur past that was bad to u, and the resemblance is really uncomfortable for u; it's not his fault, and u know that, but it might take time before u can get over it. ask him to be patient, but it's something personal and nothing to do w/ him, so please not to feel bad. hopefully when u learn to trust people again and see him as a new person, then u guys can get back to being chill again. but its gonna take time if it bothers u that much!!! hopefully he understands..if he doesn't, then maybe he really is like that other guy. take care of YOU first, and then u can be comfortable and confident w/ anyone.
2006-07-28 05:28:00 · answer #1 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same kind of situation once with a friend of a friend's. This particular person looked the spitting image of a person in my past that I had problems with.
Every time this person came around it made me uncomfortable too. I couldn't be in the same room with her. I knew she sensed that I didn't like her but she couldn't put her finger on it as she never did anything to me but that she just looked too much like that person in my past! For the longest time I couldn't bring myself to tell her this! It would have cleared the bad air between us. Finally, I had to say something because it was spreading to other people and attitudes were popping out all over the place because of me!
I told her that she reminded me of someone in my past and that i just have a hard time being around her and she took it well and it lifted a weight off my shoulders! I really didn't apologize though because it wasn't that I did something to her but it was more of an attitude problem.
We are not the best of friends but at least I can be in the same room with her without feeling uncomfortable anymore. That's a relief!
As far as you apologizing, do you really have to? Has the situation gone past that point? Would apologizing help you to accept this person any better or clear things up further? This is what I would consider before I thought about apologizing.
2006-07-28 12:38:35 · answer #2 · answered by December Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should apologize to him for the sake of the fact that you probably hurt his feelings whether or not you reconcile the friendship. I understand what you are saying, but I think you should find a way to let go of the other person that you don't like. It is not right for you to let this other person interfere with your friendship like that. Your friend is a totally different person despite similarities. You have hurt him I am sure, and he probably enjoyed your friendship. I would apologize to him and think about what you have put yourself at a loss for a good friend. Forget about the person that you dislike and concentrate on the good things that this friend has to offer you and within time you may forget that he reminds you of this other person.
2006-07-28 12:30:15 · answer #3 · answered by busyliz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just a natural thing that people reminds us of someone we like or dislike and we project that feeling on them unaware. So now that you are aware of this maybe you should try to separate the two. So go ahead and apologize.
2006-07-28 12:28:39 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Mandeville 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apologize because that u not being dumb!!!! just because he remind u of somebody else doesn't mean u be mean to him he cant help that the person he remind u of hurt u and u cant get over him don't lose a friend over something so dumb!!!!!!
2006-07-28 12:27:58 · answer #5 · answered by poohbearbear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely tell him you are sorry, just because he looks and sounds like thins other guy he is not him. Everyone has their own personality, you never know he might turn out to be one of your best friends. Please for yourself try to get past the fact that he reminds you of someone you dislike..
2006-07-28 12:29:00 · answer #6 · answered by shadyabby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
definetly apologize. you can't let him remind you of another person. if he's really that nice to you, then it should be easy to see he's nothing like the other person at all! forget this other person, and try to get over being reminded of the other, because otherwise your losing a really great friendship, and that is really something to be cherished.
2006-07-28 12:27:43 · answer #7 · answered by Billy C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have the courage to own up to your mistake and apologies you will be a better person. Take this as a peronal challenge and test your own strength.
2006-07-28 12:29:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well see if he's willing to forgive without the apology first...and if not and you really want his friendship then look past the similarities and say sorry...
2006-07-28 12:25:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you were honest with your friend, and told him the reasons that you had for ending the friendship. i dont think you need to apologize any further, it would only send him a mixed message.
2006-07-28 12:25:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋