I'm a new daddy and I would like to know if there is anything I can do to help my fiance with PPD?

Question

My fiance just had her 2nd girl and its my first. She told me that she never had this problem with her first daughter and isn't sure why she is having the problems now. I do my best to help her with the baby. I work 1st shift and when I come home I feed her and change her and everything else to give her some relief. I believe she is having PPD and it seems to get worse as the days go. Is there anything else that I am able to do to help her? Should I call her doctor and see if there is anything else they can do?

Answer 1

encourage her to seek help, PPD is awful and very confusing, post natal depression does not necessarily mean she doesn't love her child it just means shes having difficulties coping with her emotions, it will keep getting worse if untreated i know its very hard on you but u must try to understand that shes feeling very alone, it helps to let her do what she needs to for now,
please be patient with her, as even though she might not show it, she needs you more then ever.

Answer 2

Please have her call her doctor. PPD can get very serious if untreated, (Andrea Yates PPD psychosis). I commend you though on being so concerned for her well-being. The best things you can do are really simple. These actions don't cure PPD, they just help to minimize the signs and symptoms. If the baby wakes during the night, let your fiance' sleep and you get up. Lack of sleep aggrivates symptoms of depression. Make sure she eats a well blanced diet, especially if she is breastfeeding. Give her 1-2 hours per day to take a break. Take the baby if at all possible out of the house for a dad and baby trip, (maybe to a family members house). Encourage her to take a long hot bath or get some sleep for that time. And most of all, let her know that you are there to support her. Tell her not to hesitate to ask you for help. I found that was the hardest thing to do. Congratulations and Good Luck. You, your finace' and children are in my prayers.

Answer 3

Yes you should call the doctor, but for now just be there for her. It sounds like you are doing your best though. I had a little bit of it for about a week and a half, and i wish my husband would of helped a little more. I don't know what the doctors will do, i guess depending on how bad it is, but PPD is something that alot of mothers get. Just because she didn't have it with her first doesn't mean it wouldn't happen at all. But yes, i would suggest calling the doctor to see what they say. Good Luck!

Answer 4

i had that problem with my 3rd child. my first two children were a blessing, but my third I just couldn't get into the mood of it. A lot of the problem was adjusting to the stresses of having 3 kids while my husband was away due to military obligations. I for one didn't;t think I had PPD, but my doctor thought I should see a counselor. Turned out to be the greatest thing for me. The children were not the problem, the way i was dealing with the stress in my life was. I learned new things about myself and in the long run it was the best thing I could have done. Just talking to someone is the greatest thing. She may not be as open with you than she is with someone else for fear of what you might think.

Answer 5

I know she's probably heard it before (as have you) but EVERY pregnancy is different. She's older now, so her body is responding to hormone drops differently than with her first baby.

PPD is VERY common. I would strongly recommend that she speak to either her OB/GYN or maybe even your baby's pediatrician. They can give you referrals to counselors, or even (if it's bad enough) prescribe some short-term anti-depressants.

In the mean time (thank you for caring and being sensitive!!!!), you can ease her physiological burden some by taking the baby in the night sometimes, giving her time to nap on your days off, go shopping for her, cook a few meals, etc, etc, etc. Anything that will give her a chance to rest and not feel so completely overwhelmed. Her physical energies are being extremely tapped right now, so it's going to effect how she FEELS emotionally. Also, be available if she just wants to cry.

Answer 6

Yes you should call her doctor PPD is a very serious situation I suffered it after my son was born and had to go and talk to someone who helped me they put me on some antidepressants for a while if she seems to be getting worse then call her doctor right away before the situation gets to stressful for everyone but most importantly just be there for her that in its own will help more than you can image

Answer 7

As you've read a ton already, get her to her doctor. I have PPD and didn't know it. I cried for a week straight and even had thoughts of hurting my baby. I couldn't stand to hear him cry and found myself trying to give him to anyone at home so I didn't have to deal with him. My baby is almost five months old and my PPD is barely getting under control. My husband was great in supporting me, he even went to the doctor with me and told them how bad I would get. It wasn't offensive at all to hear him because I probably would have glossed over most of my problems. Good luck, stick with her, and congratulations.

Answer 8

My wife was really bad after our first baby. She wasn't back to herself for over a year. She's a nurse (they make the worse patients); she wasn't compliant with her meds. There were many times that I had to leave the house and left in tears because I was afraid of what she might do while I was gone. I would suggest going to the appointment with her. My wife would tend to down-play her symptoms when she talked to the doctor. Since then I just speak up.

My wife breastfed (not sure if an issue with your situation) and there was still medication they were able to put her on. Keep helping out and supporting her, just remember (in times of frustration) it's not something that she can just snap out of so the doctor at least needs to be aware.

Email me or IM me if you need someone to talk to about it that's been through a similar place you are now. It wasn't easy but we got through it. Hopefully your fiance's case won't be as bad. But you are on the right track. You haven't ignored it and you have familiarized yourself with it.

Answer 9

My 3 year previous could nicely be the comparable way. despite if i'm using and he drops a toy or needs some thing and my husband is in the van he won't enable him get his issues for him. I ought to bend around or pull over. My son is consistently calling my call. If i'm downstairs doing laundry he will seek for me out to get him milk despite if my husband is sitting suitable next to him. Daddy is relaxing. apparently mommy is the slave. this is somewhat, this is going to bypass.

Answer 10

Yes call the DR I had PPD and did not know it. She might not think it is a possibility for her either