his family and him are all about what they have and they have to show it to everyone. i just want to pay my bills and keep a roof over my head and stuff i need to survive . do you think this can be changed?
2006-07-28 04:45:45 · 21 answers · asked by angel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like two complete different worlds. I doubt you will ever change him since that is how he was brought up. I would move along.
2006-07-28 04:47:49 · answer #1 · answered by sweetnessmo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wanting to be financially successful and to not to have to worry about "getting the ends meet" isn't materialistic, just common sense. Would you want a husband who was satisfied to simply "have a roof over his head"? Having family and kids is so much more than just "paying your bills". Sure, one can get by on the minimum, but it makes life so much easier when you don't have to worry about the day-to-day stuff all the time, but instead can concentrate on everything that makes having a family rewarding.
However, it's true that there are people who's main motivation isn't making life comfortable for themselves and their family, but instead showing off their possessions to others. Do you think this is the case with the person you're considering marrying? If so, you might want to think twice; this kind of attitude isn't only distasteful, but can be downright destructive - he could end up spending beyond his means just to impress other people with what he owns, while neglecting the needs of the family.
Either way, I would guess that the difference in the level of financial ambition has the potential to create disagreement in a relationship. Try to get on the same page with him before you commit.
2006-07-28 05:11:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say it's not likely, especially if his family is that way as well. Sometimes it's just a mark of being immature, but in his case, he's been raised to think that way.
You will be in constant conflict about this if you marry him. Materialistic people don't put other people first, and that will hurt you. Talk to him honestly about it. Tell him you want to live very simply, and don't want to own things just to impress others. I'll bet he won't agree to living that way. Do it BEFORE you marry him, not after. It's better to deal with the difference in your attitudes now, and walk away if you can't work it out.
2006-07-28 05:13:04 · answer #3 · answered by homebuyer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I wouldn't marry someone who wanted to impress people with possessions. The person would have to change, which sounds highly unlikely if that is the upbringing he had. You will not be able to change him. Think about what you are doing. Don't make any lifetime committments unless you know you are 100% sure you can deal with this for the rest of your life. Good luck!
2006-07-28 05:02:32 · answer #4 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things can't and won't change. I left two of my friends because of the materialistic attitude. They had a lot of nice things and loved to show it off and let anyone know how much more they had. In the end they were left with alot of nice things and NO friends. I on the other hand have everything I need ( most of it used) and I have plenty of friends and happiness. I think you should think twice, you will be looked at as one of them and it is not something good.
2006-07-28 04:52:10 · answer #5 · answered by poeticmami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No because when people put that much love into possessions it makes it a target for life, other people to take that thing they love away from them. They spend their entire lives in a constant battle to keep it and acquire more. That would be a miserable existence and anyone associated with it.
2006-07-28 04:51:35 · answer #6 · answered by Fantasy Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, my husband likes expensive stuff and I am constantly telling him that we don't need that kind of stuff. We really don't but you need to talk to him about it and let him know that it is not a priority in your life. If it is more important than you then it is time to move on.
2006-07-28 04:49:29 · answer #7 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People like that put too much emphasis on materialistic things. I don't need or want people like that in my life, when they die it's not like they can take all their things with them. Usually they don't change, the greedy keep getting greedier.
2006-07-28 04:51:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No they don't change my bf is just like that oh my god i try not to listen to the competition about who have what and who is doing what. It is so phony but its what keeps them alive and interesting and Passionate. either you can deal with it or walk away if it bothers you too much. i am still trying to deal with it.
2006-07-28 04:55:50 · answer #9 · answered by devika h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people are obsessed with materials things but fail to realise they can loose it in a wink of an eye by god's wrath, do not boast.
2006-07-28 04:52:13 · answer #10 · answered by firewall 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋