What should I do? My life is in the crapper. Bono still won't call. Says he is too busy saving the third world

Question

Steven Hawking won't write. Says he is too busy unraveling the mysteries of the universe. Suze Orman did not get back to me. Says she is financially ruined and can't afford her Yahoo account. Even the Ednas ignore me. This time I am really going to do it. I am going to jump off this couch. Here I gooooooooooooooooooo.

Answer 1

well Gorky, if you insist on being so self-destructive and land on your a$$, don't blame me...wink

I would be more sarcastic, but that might have you jumping off some precipice instead and we can't have that, can we?

Answer 2

Poor baby, I understand your pain. Goldie Hawn has not written in years, shacked up with Kirt Russell. Ann Margaret won't give me the time of day and Paula Abdul just dances away from me every chance she gets. Life is so bad, I might as well go to Texas to find that Dixie Chick no one likes, maybe she is lonesome enough to keep me out of a tall cactus

Answer 3

I think the answer lies in taking up the plight of the endangered Monteverde Golden Toad.

http://www.imagineanimals.com/images/photos/toad.jpg

He lives in Costa Rica with the Costa Rican people.
I suggest you focus you energies on the Monteverde Golden Toad, it will ease your pain.
If it is any comfort it is probably the Edge who is thwarting your efforts to talk to the Irish Messiah.

Answer 4

I don't think it is the third world keeping him occupied. More likely the third eye.

Answer 5

You know what 'they' always say: "If your life is in the crapper, call a plumber."

Answer 6

Hold on I need you to sign these papers first!

Answer 7

boo hoo