What is the best way to break up with a pirate who has fallen in love with you? I don't want to be killed...

Question

Shortbeard had taken to me right off the bat, but he was not my type, especially since I am married with four kids and not gay. He tried all of his pirate charm on me, be to no avail. He finally said I was his best mate, and I did not realize that meant we were now a couple!

Now I am to end it all before it gets to weird and go to his workplace and tell him we can no longer live this charade. If I have to do it in front of his co-workers at Long John Silver's then so be it, as I am afraid he might come at me with his hook if I do not take care of this in public.

Answer 1

I think the opportunity to 'end it before it gets too wierd' has passed. Good luck.

Answer 2

Be safe. Move across country and write him a letter.