Who has an amusing limerick to share? (Keep them clean please)?

Answer 1

there once was a boy named paul
who went to a fancy dress ball
he thought he would risk it
to go as a biscuit
but a dog ate him up at the hall

there once was a girl from nantucket
who kept all her cash in a bucket
her dear old sweet nan
ran off with her man
and as for the money - nantucket

Answer 2

There once was a person called Trevor
Who was neither stupid nor clever.
Of average physique,
Not too strong, nor too weak,
Quite nondescript altogether.

There once was a man from Fort Worth
Who was born on the day of his birth.
He was married, some say,
On his wife's wedding day
And he died when he quitted the earth.

There was an old fellow named Piers,
Who lived for a great many years.
He'd eyes and a nose,
Ten fingers and toes,
A chin and a couple of ears.

Answer 3

How about two of them:

There once was a man from Peru
Whose Limericks end at line two.

-and-

There once was a man from Dunne.

Answer 4

There once was a moose from Zargred,
Who got an idea in his head.
He took an old shoe,
Three socks and some glue,
And made a sandwich with two bits of bread.

Answer 5

There once was a duck that quacked
but musical skills he surely lacked
he couldn't quack high, he couldn't quack low
but still he tried where ever he'd go
to hear him try would make your ears sore
but he met with a shot gun, and he quacks no more.

Answer 6

There once was a girl named Mabel
Who danced on the dining room table.
She blushed awfully red
When somebody said,
"Look at the legs on that table!"

Answer 7

There once was a lady from Wales
who's nose was as big as a whale's
and so I am told when she had a bad cold
everyone said "thar she blows!"

Answer 8

There was an old man with a beard,
Who said it is just as I feared,
Two ducks and a hen,
Four .... and a wren,
Have all made their nests in my beard.

Answer 9

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat &drink beer all day

Answer 10

there once was this guy from nantucket....

oh nevermnd you said clean