my son who is 9 likes to put on his sisters make up, did any other guys out there do the same thing?

Question

im not upset about it but my son likes to wear his sisters make up and last night he put on nail polish as well. hes done things like this before but he was younger and i dismissed it due to his age. im just wondering if hes gay? a crossdresser waiting to happen? or does he want to be a girl? should i ask him or leave him alone about it? ive told my other kids not to tease him or say anything. id like to hear from men or boys who do the same thing. id like to know how to handle it without making him feel bad in any way.

Answer 1

Well, first of all, let me say thank you for being the kind of parent who doesn't immediatley judge your child and label him as a homosexual, it's great to have parents like you who don't understand your son's behavior, but you care enough to WANT to understand it. So yeah, thanks. Anyways, chances are, your son is going to be queer, or possibly transgendered, but at the same time, he COULD just be experimenting. That's really what life is like for a kid of his age, one big interesting world, full of things to try and see. This situation reminds me of a movie that just recently came out this summer on Lifetime, titled "A Girl Like Me". It was the real life story of Eddie/Gwen Araujo, a transgendered boy who discovered that he was a girl at heart at a very young age, around the age of your son now; and later on in life, he changed his appearance became the girl everyone knew as Gwen. I won't go into detail about the movie, but I suggest you watch it, I find it very interesting. But anyway, that could be what your son is going through. And it could be something different. The point is, I wouldn't worry too much about your son, there is no set way to tell if your child is going to be gay or transgendered unless he straight out comes and tells you that he prefers guys over girls (and even then, remember, he may say he DOES like boys better than girls, but at his age, girls are still largely considered icky); or if he tells you he'd much rather be a girl than be a guy. But don't pressure him about what he prefers just yet, he may just give you the answer he thinks you want to hear. Try to wait until he's a bit older before you tell him about your concerns about him wearing makeup and stuff, but don't make it seem like they're CONCERNS really, just thoughts. There are many homosexual men who do not wear makeup (part of the homomasculine group), and there are many straight men that do ( Emo (emotional) boys and models).Like I said, don't worry too much just because he likes to wear makeup. I myself am gay, and I didn't start wearing makeup until my freshman year of high school, and even then, it was more of a way to express myself and stand out from the crowd, than to say "I'm here, I'm queer". MY thing when I was his age wasputting on dressesduring play time at my school age program, and playing with Barbies, but then again, I think it was all just experimenting, I can't remember a time when I was attracted to another man at nine years old. So just give him sometime to find himself, see what he likes. I hope all that helped. Love,
~!*Justin*!~

Answer 2

Okay, yes I did try on my mother's clothes as a kid and yes, my sister and I (who were very close growing up) used to put make up on each other. Oh and yes I am queer (Bisexual).

I don't know if this was something I did out of subconscious recognition that I wasn't heterosexual; if it was because I was jealous of the fact that women got to do all these things or simply because I wanted to be like my mother who I loved, dearly.

Since growing up, I've only worn drag a few times: a couple of Rocky Horror Shows, a "reverse" Vicars and Tarts party and an Ann Summers (a bit like Victoria's Secret) party - at a sex workers' charity christmas do; where I used to help out.

He's nine and you'll know yourself, for all that kids are increasingly sexually aware at a younger age, he's not going to be able to turn round and tell you he's gay or a cross dresser. You can certainly ask him "why he wants to wear make up like his sister" - and as long as you don't sound threatening or concerned about it, he'll probably give you as honest an answer as he is able. You might want to set some ground rules so that he has comfortable space to do this (no ribbing from his peers at school). You might also want to tell him that although you won't stop him - not many boys/men do wear make up - but then you could qualify that by talking about goths/emos/glam rockers...

In short, his putting on make up need not signify he's growing up into a non-heterosexual or a crossdresser. If it does, he couldn't have asked for a better Mum.

Answer 3

this is not an answer, but i think your looking for personal situation, as a child, my brothers wanted skateboards, i wanted skates like my sister, i not only played with ken doll, but made clothes for barbie(learned to sew when i was eight or nine years old) I was not badly harrased by my brothers, however comments were made, also about the way i held my hands, or walked, I can't begin to tell you how much energy I put into becoming straight as i further understood it. I Got married, Two kids, and fianlly, at the age of 35 I Come Out, and had known I was gay since I was 9 yo..I spent half my life being someone I was not, I practically ruined my x wifes life, and left two girls with a broken home, I love my mom, but sometimes I think if she had understood that being gay is a good thing for a gay person, then all of this could have been avoided, its a hard situation, because if you bring it up it may cause him to become uncomfortable and retreat from you, my advise is get some respectable gay friends, just to hang with, that way he can see that its ok, no words or opinions, just him seeing what he needs to see. and then when he asks about them, just say, oh..yeah..they are gay, now you are talking about them, not him..hope that makes some sense..oh and for personal prides sake, playing with dolls did not make me a queen, as I got older I was more interested in sports, competition, music, I never opened a dress shop....(not that there is anything wrong with that..haha)

Answer 4

Does it hurt you in any way? If not, why worry about it? The only reason men DON'T typically wear makeup is because it's not "societally acceptable." Honestly, though, if he finds it amusing, what's the harm? It's possible that he could be gay, or a crossdresser, but at the age of nine, a child barely has a sexuality at all, and certainly has a very limited idea of gender and its fluidity. In fact, many adults don't have clear ideas about these issues either.

My advice? Let him play as he wants. It's not in any way strange.

Answer 5

Here is a story of how I grew up. When I was about his age and I think just a little younger, I loved getting into my mothers closet and putting on her shoes and getting her clothes out. I thought that they were pretty. Almost every Halloween, I was a "girl" or a "witch", and my parents didn't really mind the "dress-up" around Halloween, but other times...They threw fits. When I was 18, after years of trying to deny who I was, almost committing suicide several times, I decided to be who I was. I "came out" and life is better for me. It took 5 years to tell my parents that I was gay. But when I told them, they were upset, but none the less, they love me for who I am, not what I am.

So, your son "might" be gay, or transgendered confused. This is normal for kids his age. Just be open to him. Tell him that it is ok, and that you love him anyway. It is going to hard enough for him anyway. Because I was raised in a strict Pentecostal family, it wasn't accepted. But my parents love me and my other half (actually my mother love him more than me, but ohh well...at least she is happy enough). And about asking him, well, he may be too young to ask right now. If he likes to take and put make-up on, let him...but only at home or on Halloween. Make a compromise.

When he is older, maybe around 13-15, then talk to him. Or when he is ready to talk. I don't know if you are a single mother or you have a husband, but talk with him about it as well. Don't let him "freak out".

Also, you may need to watch a few movies to help you with this situation. They are tear jerkers, but they get the messege across. One is " A Girl Like Me- The Gwen Arujo Story" it is on Lifetime quite a bit. Also " The Mathew Shepard Story". I am pretty sure you know of these as they did make the news.

I pray that you get the answers that you are needing. And if you ever need help or advice, please contact me.

Bright Blessings.

Answer 6

Our friend Mark did it when he was in his teens. He would fix himself up -- he was beautiful as a girl -- but he was also always beautiful as a boy. I don't know if he does it now as an adult -- I do know he's straight. The two things don't really relate.

I would just be loving and supportive of whatever he likes to do, but I woudln't ask. He will tell you if he wants to and he knows that you love him no matter what.

You are a good person. I hope the situation goes well.

Reyn

Answer 7

Sometimes this is just playful behavior that kids grow out of or he could be a budding transgendered person or the next great actor. Certainly talking to him about it first is probably the best thing you can do as long as he doesn't think you're angry with him about it.

Answer 8

I now when i was that age i was not like other boys. My mom found out she got mad sayed it was not wright but talk to him about it see what he says. If he is gay just help out as much or crossdresser or if want's to be a girl help out as much as you can tell him you will also love him nomatter what he want's to do.

Answer 9

Well I would worry to much about it. Your son will be who he is no matter what you say. He is probably just wondering, he sees you dressing up and your daughter also dressing up and putting on makeup. Buy him a suit or some nice clothes and let him dress up and tell him how nice and handsome he is. At nine I wasn't wearing my sisters clothes or makeup, I was playing with her dolls. She used to get so mad at me, when ever she wanted her dolls she had to go to my room to find them. If your son is gay, please be very supportive to him.

Answer 10

You should ask him why he does it,but i think he could grow up to be gay or maybe he's just looking for his individuality,finding out who he is,you should explain to him that only girls can wear make up and nail polish and see what is his reaction about it.