Tonight i lay upon a lighted sky that sways and sways.Under the stars i fall asleep ,so craddleing no more weeps.I wake in the morning at 5am,my broken heart has started to mend,i walk along the long brick path here love and eternity always lasts.The mist in the air gives me wings as i fly off to see what morning brings.
2006-07-28 03:28:56 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
My suggestion to you: keep one of those electronic dictionaries handy. You seem to know how to spell, but lack slightly in only a few things. Having the dictionary around will make you look even better (more educated), because your spelling and knowledge of definitions will take you to that next level.
Your poetry appears to be genuine/the real thing. Keep it up, and save everything, even if you don't like the work. One of these days, you might end up publishing your work, and you'll want to have everything (all spectrums) available. Continue your creativity, and seeking critiques is one positive aspect in your mission to do your best. I commend you. I'm sure others do as well.
I realize we often use slangs in our works or speeches, so don't think I think you don't know how to spell, because you do. Proofreading may be all you need to do, but that dictionary will definitely be useful. Franklin brand can be bought at Home Depot. They aren't very expensive; I don't recall how much, $30-40? Just look it up online. Heck, it's probably cheaper.
2006-07-28 03:49:13 · answer #1 · answered by fingerssfv 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your poem is not weird, and all life leads to and through an unknown path.
Keep up with your writings ... you are very talented.
If you want an analysis, your poem says to me that each day is a new beginning and should be embraced with optimism.
2006-07-28 10:38:47 · answer #2 · answered by frankiquilts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have a flair for poetry. like the way in which you weave your words together. what is slightly weird is that u shud write 'bout a broken heart at 12. such talent that u hav, it'll be sacrilage to waste it upon such thoughts. well, best of luck!
2006-07-28 10:43:28 · answer #3 · answered by pioneer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep playing with those images, they are the key to tapping your poetic expression. And remember, rhyming is fun, and can be very effective, but is not neccessary.
2006-07-28 10:46:02 · answer #4 · answered by Alobar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
B.e.a.u.t..f.u.l Poets don't get paid very well, but you should seek a career that has to do something about poetry. Marvelous poem!
2006-07-28 10:32:58 · answer #5 · answered by =] 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's really good.
but wait-are you "upon a lighted sky" or are you "under the stars?" above or below. Pick!
2006-07-28 16:33:34 · answer #6 · answered by she who is awesome 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are several other types of rhyme besides end rhyme. You might look into it if you want to develop your skills.
2006-07-28 10:49:41 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is very nice. Keep going with it. You can do a lot with that talent. :)
2006-07-28 10:34:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
very nice wordplay keep it up expand that vocabulary everyday
2006-07-28 10:38:52 · answer #9 · answered by jasonvdklooster 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋