my parents haven't given me "the talk".?

Question

I am already in puberty and my christian parents have not told me their expectations relating to sex, sexuality, masturbating, ect. what do I do?

Answer 1

Your parents are probably embarrassed about the subject, or because they are Christians they might not expect you to have those feelings yet and believe you should only think of sex when you are married.
As for puberty they probably expect the school to teach you about those things.
try and approach the subject and if it dismissed talk to another family member you feel close to and know they wont mind talking about it.

good luck hun xxx

Answer 2

Please, if you have been on lock down/shelter for most of your child hood and don't know the outside world, than try asking them to tell you. They may feel that you are still too young/pure to know about sex. I feel that just by posting the question you know right from wrong and wouldn't do anything that wouldn't set well with your parents. You stated that your parents are Christians and I trust you are to, so that's half the battle. There are guys and girls out there that only want to have sex and some who want to make a name for them self and on for you also. Keep this in mind, don't let anyone touch on you unless you want something to happen otherwise it may just happen and you can't stop it when it starts. Never put yourself in a situation that you can't control and never let your so call friends put you there either. Know when to walk away from the situation or from that so call friend. Masturbation is a little different, you have to control yourself. If you should start masturbating than you will want more to satisfy your need. Its hard to stop masturbating when you start, before you know it you are doing it 4-5 times a day and sometimes more. You will find yourself just sitting thinking about it and then go masturbate or have sex with someone, its like a drug your body releases and you will have sex to satisify the craving. If I can tell you one last thing, that is, it's yours and hopefully you will keep it to your self until you are ready to share it. MOST CAN TALK YOU OUT OF WHATS YOURS.

Answer 3

If you are old enough to be curious about these things then it is time for you to talk "the talk" with your parents.

They might not really realize or maybe just don't want to admit that you are old enough.

Go to them in an nonthreatening way and ask them. Tell them it's time. Don't make them do it right then, let them get prepared for it first. Set a time when all of you can sit down together and discuss things.

Have your questions ready for them, don't be afraid to ask anything, don't expect answers to everything right then. Tell them they don't have to answer all of them right away, give them time to find the right answers for you, they may not know everything about what you ask.

Parents are knowledgeable from experience and learning but they aren't walking encyclopedias so cut them some slack and give them a chance to find out for you.

Good luck.

Answer 4

I was 15 and still hadn't gotten "the talk". Christian parents aren't the best when it comes to that stuff, to tell you the truth. They just assume you know not to have sex before you're married. I'm not sure if you're a guy or a girl but just talk to the parent you feel most comfortable with. They will probably preach at you and just tell you that sex is a "no no" and that's about it. If you do decide you want to have sex, please please please find someone else to take you and get you on birth control and to get condoms. Better to be safe than sorry.

This is coming from someone who got pregnant at 15.

Answer 5

I haven't got "the talk" either. I can just kind of tell that my father would kill me if I had sex. I think you should just use good judgment. If it's really bothering you, you could bring up an instance where someone else was being a bit of a slut and maybe they'll say "We don't want you doing that! Not until whenever!" I don't know.

Answer 6

Chances are, if they have not spoken to you about it, they are scared and reserved about sex. Most people think sex and masturbation are something to be ashamed of, and it is not. They probably want you to wait for marriage. However, just in case (you never know, no matter what your beliefs) be prepared. Get on the pill. If they yell at you, tell them you want to better regulate your period. Or at least use a condom if something happens. Good luck!

Answer 7

Many parents, including "christian parents" can be uncomfortable about this discussion however; I am a firm believer that information is more than power - it is the basis and foundation for which we grow and increase. You may need to arm yourself with as much information as you can - you can read and you have been given the ability to discern information which is valid verses information which is erroneous. (information from porn sites and books will not give you the clear picture). Ask your parents to sit down with you and let them know you have questions and would like their perspective and information on this subject. If they are unwilling, ask them to suggest 'who' they would approve to provide this information for you (a doctor, counselot, your pastor) Don't sit with your head in the sand - you need to know.

Answer 8

First of all, you need to ask. As a Christian myself, I can say that the best thing to do is wait until you are married. Losing yourself to a guy is not worth it. Anytime you sleep with a guy, you risk getting pregnant. The last thing you need at this time in your life is a baby. Finish school and enjoy being a young woman.

Answer 9

Bringing up the subject, from the point of view of not wanting to try and choose what to believe from your friends at school, might be a good idea. Telling your parents that you want the best and most accurate information and that you feel THEY can provide it...I don't see how you can lose.

Answer 10

Hi, not to worry.

My parents were deeply religious too, and growing up they never had the talk with me.

In this time of Internet and media, you can get all the info you need online.

Nothing to worry about, I am 25 and have had no problems.