My dad keeps saying that I'm gay..?

Question

And I'm not, it's only 'cause I like The Corr. How can I prove to him that I'm not gay, and that I'm a real man?

Hi Im his friend who shares this email account and he already has a girl friend.

Answer 1

That speaks a lot to your father's insecurity - he may have had some gay feelings in the past. But challenging him is not going to work well.

There is no good way to change the behavior of your father - as someone once said "It's hard enough to change my own behavior - I have no chance of changing someone else's". In other words, he won't change unless he wants to. And he doesn't sound the type that wants to.

You need to understand that your father says these things out of bigotry. Gay men are 'real men' who happen to fall in love with other men. They are not a threat, they are not weaker or stronger than other men - they are lawyers, doctors, construction workers and every other type of worker. For the most part, you don't notice gay men because unless they tell you they are gay, there is nothing to make them stand out in a crowd. Unfortunately, the TV and movies make it seem like all gay men dress in women's clothes, and speak in squeeky effeminate voices - and while in real life a few do, most are just regular guys. (Similarly, all men are not Brad Pitt, and all women are not Jenfier Aniston).

So - the only thing you can do is learn to ignore your father's taunts. Don't respond or try to fight back, just think to yourself 'yeah, whatever'. His opinion of you is wrong, his opinion of gay men is wrong - and you don't have to respect someone who is a bigot.

Eventually, when he sees his nasty jabs at you don't get you annoyed or promote any reaction, he'll give up. There's nothing more frustrating for people like him when their digs fail to get a response. The less you respond, the more others will respect you, and the less they will respect him.

It's hard to ignore this type of talk, but it will work out much better for you in the long run than any other action.

Answer 2

That's a very ignorant statement your dad made, to put it bluntly. My parent's were really bias against people outside of my race; they weren't racist, but my dad didn't want me bringing home any white women, we didn't own any DVDs with a white cast, and I found that this developed in my dad because HIS dad was the same way. I addressed the situation, and my dad's slloooooowwwwllly getting more diverse in what I could bring home, and with how our DVD collection is looking. It's a start. I take it your dad is the manly man type; I would question what actions or statements you make, makes him think you're gay, and if it sounds like something that his dad had instilled in him, I'd address that (i.e. ask him: "was your dad the same way?"). There really won't be anyway to satisfy your dad by "proving" you're not gay, except by doing you, and letting time pass until he believes otherwise. Or by trying to find the root of his thought process.

Answer 3

that's amusing, you're dad is either taking the Micky, right or is paranoid. i think the thing that clinched it for my dad was the fact he found my brothers 'stash' on the computer that featured heavily on blond women.

having a girlfriend is no way to prove it with the number of gay people that have a different sex partner just to try and be normal to the outside world, and that's not taking in to account bisexuals.

then there are transsexuals and transvestites who may or may not want relationships with same sex partners. so just because you dress a certain way can't prove it either.

your actions don't help because you can be in to sports and hunting and be gay or be realy camp and be straight.

Answer 4

Tell him he has not quite came out of the closet, and he was your inspiration so you decided that you wanted to be a real man,and that you are not gay. You don't have to prove anything to him. Just be patient, in due time you will prove to him that you are not gay, when you get a girlfriend, then eventually married. Alright, don't sweat it!

Answer 5

The Corrs is so girly. But if u don't a gay, just proof it to ur dad. i think no matter if u're gay/not. but, the most important thing you tell ur dad don't say like that because u're hurt. comunication clears and changes everything

Answer 6

You do not have to prove anything.
There is no way any one can prove they are gay or straight.
People do not need labels.
What is a real man?
Your Dad should support you through out your life.
He may be teasing, but it may also be his way of finding out more about you.

Answer 7

you shouldnt have to prove it to him parents usually know everything.
well thats what there keen to tell you
tell him how can you be gay when you fancy a band with girls in it

Answer 8

don't let it bother you so much you know your not and that's what counts if your not ready for a girlfreind than don't push yourself live your life as you want to you only have one to live.

good luck

Answer 9

he be kidding Hun but if your so bothered get a bird

Answer 10

You should just tell him to shut up and suck your Richard! Or better yet... tell him you got it from him!