How do I move on?

Question

I was with my husband for 51/2 years. He is (or was) the love of my life. Due to his ex girlfriend always calling and calling, and my step daughter telling me, my husband cheated with her mom, I left. I just couldnt hurt anymore, and "Gabriel" wouldnt ever stop all the crap w/ his daughter and his ex, so I left. Gabriel told me, he would work on our marraige, and "get his rude daughter in line" and I'd move back home in one yr. I just found out yesterday, that my 38 yr old husband is in an online dating service, posted pix, and met up with this 29 yr old grl named Ganieva, I'm shocked and floored, Gabe denied it, but after I had the eveidance he admitted he was cheating.........OMG, what and how do I move on? How could he do this to me? And with his occasional crack cocaine problem, why do I even care? I'm so hurt........I'm so shocked. I never did anything bad or wrong to my husband, not ever..............how do I move on, I'm in such shock, and such pain.

Answer 1

Was it really love for just actraction. Sounds like you can just count your blessings that him and his many problems are gone. Look for friends and start over. don't look for another man like him. The drugs is where I would have left to begin with. And the cheating would just seal the deal for never wanting him back. The drugs he can stop hopefully with or without help but the cheating he will always do. Sounds like he isn't happy with himself. Do something for yourself, like get a new hairdo,get your nails done...just live it up. There will be less headaches in your life now...I know there would be in mine :). Hope you do good and don't even thret about that loser.....

Answer 2

If part the household approves of the transfer, and it's inexpensive for a extra multiplied room, I might say, opt for it. Getting extra for his cash might be an benefit to his existence. Now how approximately the foods? Are they complete foods or snacks. Do they get fruit day-to-day. And what approximately capsule dispension. Is any person liable of that, to do away with errors. Some locations have the overseeing of an RN. But additionally many locations are not able to have enough money the offerings. And does the dispenser of the capsules, put on rubber gloves for sanitary factors? There's a lot to do not forget earlier than you displace him. Make definite he can manage the transition, so he does not get afraid after relocating. I have a buddy, who died 2 days after her transfer. She was once handled badly through employees in that wing, and she or he went right into a catatonic state of brain. And did not admire her daughter. And then she died the following day. So weigh matters cautiously.

Answer 3

You've been through a lot with this guy. There came a time when the bad outweighed the good, and that's when you left him. Now you find out he's not interested in fixing things between you, and has found someone else...and lied to you about it. When you add the crack part, that had to be the last straw.

Girl, you deserve more than that! Whenever you start to feel terrible, repeat I DESERVE MORE THAN THAT to yourself and call one of your friends. This is the time to focus on your friends and outside interests. It was the only thing that pulled me through when I found out "the love of my life" was cheating and lying about it. Your friends will be there for you and help you. It just takes time, but you don't have to go through it alone. Allow yourself time to cry, scream and feel bad...it's part of the healing process. Someday Prince Charming will seem like the lying -astard he is. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 4

MMMMMMMMMMsounds familiar -- all but the dope problem..... Actually, you don't love this guy --- you love th e image that you have of him, and they are not the same. I assume he is still married to you??? Then divorce him. And you too get on line and find someone else. It is the modern way to meet other people outside of your working area. He has betrayed you, and will continue to do so as your husbnd. Waste no more time, if you wish to be in a loving relationship. This guy ain't it, honey, he's a doper, and a cheater, two really bad combinations, particularly if you are a nice lady. There are lots of nice guys on line, he isn't one of them. I left, never looked back, and found the nice guy. My ex was a prescpt. addict, a sex addict, inherited depression, probably bipolar, computer porn, and finally betrayed our marriage. Our marriage lasted 18 years, and 13 were absolute heaven --- no one was happier. But hey, betrayal????? on top of the other stuff??? no way, no way. You're tuff, you'll be fine, and there are just lots of nice guys out there.... good luck

Answer 5

Sit back and relax.. think of all the things that happen to you during the time of your marraige.. whats the good and bad.. and then try to evauluate does the good out numbered the bad? or the bad out numbered the good? whats the case? as i see he was not a good husband.. he lied once he can lie again and again... i understand the hurts if you need to cry.. cry until the last drop of your tears in just a day.. the next day when you wake up and no tears to fall that means you are ready to move on.. pain still remains but pain will fade away in time..not soon but sure it will...you have to go on with your life,, if you have kids, keep your mind busy taking care of them.. go out with your friends and be happy... just think this.... say it to yourself... I HAD LIVED BEFORE WITHOUT HIM WHY CANT I LIVE NOW AND TOMORROW...you will realize one day that you are lucky enough to get out from him...so stand up and show to him that its not the end of the world

Answer 6

hard to do but it takes alot of time
my ex of 6 yrs left me for a 20 yo blonde i was mad upset and everything else under the sun
but i realized the stuff that happened in our marriage and realized now "why did i marry him" i found someone so much better and more respectful and more loyal

but it does take time and patience if ever you need someone to talk to and no one is around best thing is to call a crisis line they are there to help you and listen

also grab a friend and one u can trust and if they dont mind (i do this) if they are not available i shoot an email venting everything i feel no matter if i repeat or dont make sense but they know i need to vent and its healthy to get it out

good luck lots of luck and hugs your way

Answer 7

With your husband cheating and drug use the possibility of contracting aids would be my road map to move on.

His behavior is reckless and let alone disrespectful to you and your marriage but you are in control over what you will accept or will not accept and your self esteem and morals should help you
make a decision you can live with .

You look at your self worth and tell yourself , I deserve better and unless you stand up for better you will continue to be subjected to the worse.

Remember- no one can treat you bad if you don't stick around and let them.

Answer 8

hey girl i know how bad it hurts to find out things like this. You first must grieve for the relationship. Then move on . The problem is with drugs involved you will never know this man. You really don't need this in your life. You don't need the stress either. Take your time and don't just rush into a relationship too soon. and whatever he says do not go back. it will only get worse, trust me.beenthere done that..No thanks...

Answer 9

i can imagine just how hurt you must be. i am sorry that you have to pass through so much pain - which you do not deserve. i hope your heart is open for real solutions and not just good advice. how about making Jesus lord of your life? a relationship with God is the beginning of a better quality of life. all you have to do is ask him into your life as Lord and Savior and believe by faith that He has come.
i know that you want an answer, I'll attempt one: marriage is sacred to God and when we encounter problems in it we can actually go to godly marriage counsellors to help us out. of course the final decision to return to this relationship is yours, but if you choose to forgive him, you will need help to build a relationship again. are you a praying woman? i will be praying for you.

Answer 10

He's also into crack? You HAVE TO move on. It's not going to be easy -- but you CAN do it. Time will take care of you -- time heals wounds. As yourself this question and be totally honest when answering yourself:
DO YOU REALLY LOVE HIM --- OR
ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH THE THOUGHT OF LOVING HIM? I mean -- are you afraid of being alone? This could end up being a great challenge for you and great things could come of it. Chin up -- it could have been a lot worse.