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I can go without sex for a while but my husband wants it every night! I am so busy keeping up with my 3 year old son that sometimes it's hard to find the time. He gets upset with me if i dont give it to him and asks me if I'm getting it somewhere else! I want to keep him interested, but like i said, i dont want it every night. What should i do?

2006-07-28 02:00:10 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

36 answers

As a wife you have to understand your husbands need, men like to have sex anytime and be thankful he wanted it from you and not from anybody and you cant blame him thinking youre getting it somewhere.. if your busy with your son leave it separate on your time with your husband.. maybe youre too busy enough to see your husband need you.. if you dont want it every night talk to him and tell him what you want and explain why, im sure as husband that loves you he will understand but dont neglect his needs if you want to keep your marraige.

2006-07-28 02:09:52 · answer #1 · answered by justme 1 · 9 1

First of all, let me apologize for the boy's (and I do mean "boy's") answers to this question. Typically, men want sex more than women do, but there are two problems here. One is the obvious. How do you work out the sexual thing so that both of your needs are met? This should be achieved through open dialogue and compromise. His needs must be met to some degree, but he has to understand that, if he makes sex a routine chore for you, it won't actually be enjoyable for him. How can it be, if all he's doing is using you for sex?

The second problem is his suspicion that you're getting it elsewhere. Perhaps he needs to spend more time taking care of the child , coming to terms with just how much work that is, and then maybe he'll realize why you're tired. This also needs to be shared openly. It is certainly not fair of him to suggest such things, as if also slyly hinting that, if you're getting it elsewhere, he can too. I submit that this also is a serious problem. It touches on trust in your relationship, and this is the foundation of it all.

I am a married man, and I have a high sexual appetite. My wife is not horny all the time either. I don't force it. I get horny, and if she's not, I masturbate. It's not a big deal. I don't ever cheat. I will never cheat. I will not compel or pressure her into sex, because I want her to enjoy it. I want it to be meaningful to her as well.

There have been times when we've had sex once or twice in a month. Sure, I'm whacking off good and plenty, but I'd rather have qaulity sex than quantity any day. Talk to him about this. He seems very interested in his own gratification, and no marriage can work if people are in it for themselves to the exclusion of their partner.

2006-07-28 02:14:53 · answer #2 · answered by Michael D 3 · 3 2

I agree with Ozzieinator.

putting an excuse on why you don't want sex is a very bad idea because it is just that, an excuse. You need to openly communicate with your husband so you do not need to put an excuse on it.

Everybody loves Raymond, was the perfect example of what men think when they hear (I am too tired, I have a headache etc...) And you want to avoid that like the plague. If your husband loves you, waiting an extra day or two without bugging you should be easy, if not and he has to masturbate, maybe he should consider getting help as being over sexed is also bad. If you cant go a day without touching yourself, you have a problem.
It's called self control, and it's all about respect.

2006-07-28 02:33:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

This is actually a very common problem (and not always the guy wanting it more than the girl). Basically, it may go unresolved, but there is a way to approach that will not harbor resentment. What you need to tell your husband is that you are willing and want to have sex with him often, but you just can't do it every night. If this is said in a normal conversational tone, and you are the one to bring up the subject - not wait for him to make a move and then tell him no - it may slow his attempts. The worst thing to hear when trying to be intimate with a spouse is "no" and often the one saying no doesn't like to say it. If you could get him to slow down his attempts, then you wouldn't feel pressured and wouldn't feel like you're always turning him down. Also, if you would initiate the encounters from time to time, that will help him understand that you want him, and him only.

It is a tough situation, but there are ways to work with it.

2006-07-28 02:08:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3 0

as a Man, I see its a common misconception that men somehow believe that married men, no matter what, get sex daily.
Men are implanted with this myth at a young age and believe it whole-heatedly. (and if you don't want sex, you must be getting it elsewhere).

Also men don't realize, that some women, just do not have a sex drive that requires sex daily.

You should explain to him the facts, and re assure him that he is your only source.
If he still persists, I would talk to your doctor and have him come with you as well to discuss how what you are trying to tell him is real.

I am a married man of 5 years, and sex is beautiful and natural. Not scheduled and planned but when its right.

BTW, I am a stay at home father of a 3 yr old, and have been since 9 months. I also work full-time from my home office putting money in the bank. Never use things like that as an excuse, because men also work, all day, tired etc... but still, sex is effortless.

Don't put an excuse on it from the outside world.

2006-07-28 02:10:18 · answer #5 · answered by ozzieinator 1 · 2 1

Send the 3yr old over to the grandparents one weekend, have your husband do some really heavy chores around the house. Clean the basement, the garage, lawn care or whatever - something that will require some real effort. Later on prepare him a nice bath and dinner and give yer old man a "marathon" session Saturday evening/night. Sunday morning, make yourselves a nice breakfast and then have him go out and wash the car[s]. Once he's done give him a "noon'er" before you go pick up the 3yr old from the grandparents on late Sunday afternoon. Unless your husband is a professional athlete or a porn star, I can pretty much guarantee he'll be SPENT by Sunday evening. He'll spend the next 2 days recovering from the weekend while still going to work. He won't have much "mojo" and you'll get a break too.

Good Luck

2006-07-28 02:32:24 · answer #6 · answered by Serious Business 4 · 2 0

Why does my husband want sex every night?

2014-12-16 00:36:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

It's called communication. Sex is like chocolate, too much of a good thing gets sickening. You might tell him that. There is also a pretty good book called "For You Both" by Lonnie Barbach ...get it cheap on Amazon.com. It discusses how to negotiate sex without having the other guy feel rejected.

2006-07-28 02:07:24 · answer #8 · answered by April 6 · 2 0

Men are turned on by anything visual. It is probably his way of complimenting you that he still things you are as sexy as when you first met. Also, if this is your first child he probably is feeling a little jealous of the time that you are spending on your child that you used to spend on him. Having sex is equivalent to women having a nice intimate conversation and cuddling. Talk to him, let him know that you love him but that sometimes (almost daily) running after a child can make you pretty tired and see about coming up with a compromise. I hope this helps

2006-07-28 02:10:11 · answer #9 · answered by echofayette 2 · 1 0

first of all, enable me ask for forgiveness for the boy's (and that i do advise "boy's") solutions to this question. regularly, adult adult males want intercourse extra suitable than women folk do, yet there are 2 issues right here. One is the apparent. How do you artwork out the sexual element so as that the two one among your desires are met? this ought to be carried out with the aid of open talk and compromise. His desires ought to be met to a pair degree, yet he has to understand that, if he makes intercourse a habitual chore for you, it won't definitely be relaxing for him. How can or no longer this is, if all he's doing is using you for intercourse? the 2d situation is his suspicion which you have become it someplace else. perchance he needs to spend extra time looking after the youngster , coming to words with in basic terms how plenty artwork this is, and then perchance he will understand why you're drained. This additionally should be shared brazenly. this is in no way honest of him to indicate such issues, as though additionally slyly hinting that, once you have become it someplace else, he can too. I submit that this is likewise a severe situation. It touches on believe on your relationship, and this is the beginning place of all of it. i'm a married guy, and that i've got a extreme sexual urge for nutrition. My spouse isn't attractive each and all the time the two. i do no longer rigidity it. i'm getting attractive, and if she's no longer, I masturbate. it is not a super deal. i do certainly no longer cheat. i'm going to by no ability cheat. i won't be in a position of compel or rigidity her into intercourse, with the aid of fact i want her to savor it. i want it to be significant to her as nicely. there have been cases whilst we've had intercourse a pair of times in a month. particular, i'm whacking off sturdy and much, yet i could extremely have qaulity intercourse than quantity any day. confer with him approximately this. He seems very attracted to his own gratification, and no marriage can artwork if anybody is in it for themselves to the exclusion of their significant different.

2016-10-08 10:16:15 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0 1

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