Ladies: how do you put the spice back in a relationship? We are happy but in a bit of a rut these days....?

Answer 1

I think you have just got so wrapped up in the contentment side of your relationship of been together that you forgot to do the romantic side of things, I think we all go through it occasionally, don't under any circumstances wait for him to chase after you, he probably thinks you OK with how things are now, but your not are you, so woo him again, make a nice meal and get a good bottle of wine, no make that two good bottles of wine, leave the washing up and take the second bottle of wine upstairs along with your husband/fella and tell him how much you love him and what he means to you, hopefully he will be so happy you made the effort to have a special evening together he will ravish you, I think we are all guilty of the not trying part at times, turn the telly off for a change and just talk about things that are important to you both and what you want in the future, can you afford a night away or a special holiday on your two own, hope whatever you do to start the ball rolling again between you it is wonderful and you laugh about been in a rut in a few days, good luck be happy.

Answer 2

Depends what you mean by 'spice'. If the physical side of your relationship has become a bit lacklustre, you may need to gently explore how your partner feels and whether there are any different things you might both want to try. If you just mean things have become routine you could look for new interests both to share, and to do seperately. Try being spontaneous and surprise your partner with your thoughtfullness. Let your imagination run riot and just spend time together having fun and enjoying each other.

Answer 3

Whatever you do, do not try new sexual things in a spontaneous way. It may sound like a way to make things hotter, but your signifigant other will often assume you learned something new from SOMEONE new. Not good. However, a nice intimate dinner, and a conversation about each other's fantasies would help alot, and give you both a chance to try new things together, after talking about them first to find out if either of you are interested in doing them. And, it won't seem suspicious to try a new position or something in the context of fulfilling eachother's fantasies.

Answer 4

I took a year out and went backpacking around South America. My wife met me for Carnival in Rio and we had a great time. Don't think that because you'tre in a relationship that you have to spend all your time together, time apart can make you realise how much you value your partner.

Answer 5

Forget the sex side of your relationship and court again. Go out for the evening and pretend you've just met. Go shopping and pretend you've just met. Play act, think of the day you first met and bring those feeling right back.

Do the things that would make you happiest.

It does work and it's fun. Enjoy yourselves.

Answer 6

in a similar position.

for me its important that we still go on 'dates' - taking the time to get ready, and get excited, and spend time with just each other.

and no tv. especially not in the bedroom - biggest passion killer of all!

hmm, iv tried [among other things] sexy lingerie, massage oils, romantic baths, spontaneous passion.

so long as you're trying then it cant be doomed! lol

though i do think that men in general tend to lay back on their laurels once they've snared us and need reminding of just how lucky they are!

ooh a good one is to go out to the same place but not together - then act as if you're total strangers! [id also recommend a bit of flirting with some other guys so he can remember that you can have any guy you like - its just that you choose him!]

Answer 7

Well, I've been there! Do not question everything he does. Try and initiate romance. Sometimes guys forget how to be romantic... it takes us to remind them how to dance to that tune again.

Buy HIM candy and flowers for a change instead of waiting (and you might wait forever) for him to get you any.

Answer 8

outside of sex, what did you enjoy while you were dating? many married coupples settle into the same ole same ole. think back to your courting days and renew some of these ideas. it worked like magic for me:) really you all ready know how to resolve this problem. we are all different and satisfied in different ways. only you and him know what the two of you like best about eachother.

Answer 9

Explore your erotic side. I say just get freaky and you will both be craving more.

Answer 10

I wish i knew. I have the same problem