2006-07-28 01:47:04 · 14 answers · asked by Brendon B 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
A crab & a shrimp decided to get married. Crab goes to shrimps father & asks for his permission to marry his daughter. Father point blank refuses,tells crab it's a stupid idea & points that crab walks sideways. Crab goes away . Shrimp, now sitting at front door pining for lover until early hours of morning. Crab returns, moving forward. Shrimp rushes towards crab & smothers him with hugs & kisses. Thank God you're back she cries & look you're walking straight. Crab says Shut up, I'm pissed.
2006-07-28 02:02:46 · answer #1 · answered by ADRIAN H 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Not the funniest, but pretty good.
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador
Retriever and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive
care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the
hospital.
I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car
hit me.
2006-07-28 01:51:59 · answer #2 · answered by captianpr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy is sitting in the pub waiting for his mate, when eventually he turns up 2 hours late.
Freind 1 - Where the hell have you been?
Freind 2 - Well.............I was on my way here and walking along by the railway when I looked down and saw a girl tied to the track!
Friend 1 - Really!!? What did you do?
Friend 2 - I couldnt exactly leave her there so I ran down and untied her, and we ended up having sex!! Which is why i'm late!
Friend 1 - Thats amazing, did she give you a b*$w j&b?
Friend 2 - No...............I couldnt find her head!
2006-07-28 02:21:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the difference between an Elephant and a girl from (Oklahoma, Princeton, New York,.... pick one)?
About 50 lbs.
How do you make up the difference?
Force feed the elephant.
2006-07-28 01:52:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Priest, Rabbi and Minister walk into a bar, barman looks up stunned and says, is this some kind of joke!
2006-07-28 02:01:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There were three Irishmen sitting on the floor, and one fell off.
2006-07-28 01:53:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how do you know when an elephant has been in the fridge?
there are footprints in the butter
ha ha ha ha ha ha
well it did it for me
2006-07-28 01:53:21 · answer #7 · answered by jkm13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once i have heard that americans can think :)
2006-07-28 01:50:13 · answer #8 · answered by qbalka 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That there is a Christian somewhere with intelligence.
2006-07-28 01:51:03 · answer #9 · answered by mr_powers14 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats black and white and eats like a horse...???
2006-07-28 01:49:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋