A decolete winter,
and the usual primative storm.
not wanting love or money,
only wanting to be warm.
try to preserve your strength,
dont fight, just let it be.
try to keep your eyes open,
but not so you can see.
listen to the rain
as it poors into the room
take comfort from it
and hold it untill your doom.
things arnt always easy
and important things are hard
all good things take time,
even before they start.
2006-07-28 00:21:41 · 17 answers · asked by manic jester 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
wow! thanks alot guys and girls, you are all too nice, im not homeless but have just moved to au from nz and whilst having a coffee was thinking about the social structure here its very diffrent from back home. and thanks alot for the spelling corrections, im so crap sometimes lol bad schooling or even worse learning, thanks again for your feed back
2006-07-28 00:30:39 · update #1
Very good.
2006-07-28 00:25:09 · answer #1 · answered by Mummabear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to work on you spelling. but that doesn't answer your query.your poem has potential. every other line doesn't have to rhyme, that gets boring. i've made a few changes, see how you like this?
a desolate winter
a primitive storm
no need of love or money
just the need to stay warm
trying to preserve my strength
not fighting, just accepting
keeping my eyes open
but not for sight's sake
hear the distant thunder
as it rolls into the room
i take no comfort from it
my time is ended soon
life is never easy
and important things are always hard
but the good things take time
even before they start
2006-07-28 07:36:28 · answer #2 · answered by bakbiter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am at a bit of a loss, to understand the word "decolete"
maybe you meant "recollect!
the rest is poignant and somewhat sad .
And i could picture a flat ,with a leaky roof
a lonely tenant , making the best of a cold room,
seeing an end to the the bad times ,
a goal far away ,, but possible .
hope this helps
:)
2006-07-28 07:40:01 · answer #3 · answered by sweet-cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good poem, felt like the writer was 'homeless"?
2006-07-28 07:26:37 · answer #4 · answered by valerie b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I made a wrong turn, stuff like this I normally don't like reading but not bad
2006-07-28 07:29:42 · answer #5 · answered by maniac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that's a really nice poem, it sort of makes me think about life...
Just a few spelling mistakes:
"desolate" - "primitive" - "pours" - "until" - "aren't".
;-)
2006-07-28 07:27:11 · answer #6 · answered by Krissyinthesun 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know i am not usually into poetry and usually dont get it. but i really like your poem. it just says something and its easy for me to understand. thanx reading a poem i can understand made my day.
2006-07-28 07:47:24 · answer #7 · answered by laziedazie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loved it!! The emotions i felt were sadness.
2006-07-28 08:04:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its verry good you have a GOD givein tallent keep it going and enter contests bet youll win
2006-07-28 07:27:14 · answer #9 · answered by polkahaunis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very nice... i'm not much into poetry... but i could hear it being some kind of sad indie folk song:-)
2006-07-28 07:25:00 · answer #10 · answered by **LiZZeRbOO** 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋