My boyfriend & I hadn't had the best relationship until recently (i.e he got angry easily, we'd had sex already, I was quite restrictive - didn't like him going away to conferences etc without me) and we've wanted to get married since day one. However, everytime we say we'll change and we never do...we just settle. On Monday, he really felt like God was speaking to him so we've decided that if we don't change within three months (i.e, helping each other spiritually, growing in faith and as a person, actually HELPING each other which we haven't been doing) we won't get married cos it'll be unfair. But we both desperately want to and we're both in the process of growing closer to God etc ... I don't know what I'm asking really...i'm kind of scared I guess...
2006-07-27 22:08:05 · 6 answers · asked by Bridezilla 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is it wrong to ask God to show me if we're meant to get married?? Or has he given us a choice in marriage?? I believe he has but basically, my boyfriend and I have screwed it up first time around and now we're trying to get it right and put God at the centre!! How do I know thats what God wants?!!?
Also, I asked him to speak to me this morning while on the train on the way to work- was reading my bible and desperately wanted some sort of verse to meditate on re our relationship or how to go about it...but I couldn't hear him :(
2006-07-27 22:24:30 · update #1
All i know to tell you is to keep on praying and getting closer to God. If this relationship wasnt meant to be he wouldnt be talking to you all about it or leading you two to work out your problems. he will let you know when it's time to join together. I wish and pray that things will work out for you.
2006-07-27 22:15:52 · answer #1 · answered by Tracey E 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think God has already answered your question. He has shown you that you needed to change and that it is not going to be a short, easy process. Is 3 mos. long enough? Maybe, but I would give yourselves a bit longer, just to be sure. The fact that you "desperately" want to get married is a plus.
You should know that you WILL be going through this process for the rest of your married lives. Marriage takes work and committment. You both will grow and change (not always at the same rate or in the same direction), so you need to be prepared to make the committment to each other to work on it every day. Talk to your clergy about couples retreats or counselling to help you develop some helpful techiques. I might be worth the time! Good Luck!
2006-07-28 06:41:53 · answer #2 · answered by extra_37 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had exactly the same problem - except for - I had to let him go to recieve my knowledge and to find myself and my true identity in Christ!
First of all..
You guys should talk to God together - admit your wrongings and repent! Ask God to break the bondages you've caused each other and accept God's love in your lives.
If you make God the centre of you relationship you really need to go to church (a living church - if you know what I mean) and pray together and ask the pastor to pray for you guys' relationship and that God will reveal to either one of you if your relationship is meant to be...
Remember that you guys shouldn't let satan tempt you in any way and even if it means you sleeping in two different rooms. It's the right thing to do!
Constantly remind each other that you are not on earth to serve each other but to serve God and take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ Jesus. Rebuke the devil and flee from evil and sin!
You can do fun things together and learn more about each other like joining a dance class or doing some sports together... It helps getting your mind off of things of the world.
You can also ask some of the preachers/pastors in the church to help you guys to be WOMAN of GOD/MEN of GOD which is your true identity in Christ... There are many books regarding this and preparing you for marraige (if you get your answer)
Contact me and let me know how it goes... OK?
2006-07-28 06:45:52 · answer #3 · answered by Chellie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how do u mean change..?change as in u guys dont want to have sex until it's ur wedding night..?
i've been in a not so similar situation,but what u really need to do is take God's word as part of ur life,(since u want to grow closer to God,do u know that ur not suppose to have sex b4 marriage?,it's fornication)
well,give urself to prayer earnestly and seek His help,u'll need to remember that He didn't put u in a situatin where everytings falls into place to have sex,NO.it's just that u've given into ur fleshly desires too much..
pray hard,pray together and get this,God says"Be ye holy,for I am holy"1Pet1.16..
may God grant u help..u can ask some more Q's if u want to..hope i can help.
2006-07-28 05:18:11 · answer #4 · answered by alexgnot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should pray and seek the Lord for wisdom.
James 5:13
13Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray
2006-07-28 05:14:50 · answer #5 · answered by singforsingsing 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ditch the guy, you will have a bgger problem when you got married to this jerk
2006-07-28 06:27:19 · answer #6 · answered by lepactodeloupes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋