......if I accept his help for quickly gettin a part-time job?
This guy, former colleague of mine, wanted to date me a few weeks ago. I said it wouldn't be such a good idea - well, honestly, I like him a lot as a friend but nothing more, I wouldn't want to confuse him, so I didn't date, at all.
In the meantime he spoke with a common friend and found out that I am looking for a part-time job and finally he talked to some people and he told me yesterday that I could start at any time when I want!!!
I never asked for his help, didn't even know he was aware of my problems - it was a surprise.
The thing is: I really needed that help now, but I feel awkward if I accept his help. Am I a user if I accept it?????
2006-07-27 21:05:48 · 18 answers · asked by Hibernating Ladybird 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
yes you are
2006-07-27 21:07:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
I think he did it to help a friend...
And, I think he would be offended if you did not accept.
Honey, you may not care what I have to say because I am 30 yrs old. But, take this advice to heart because I have been there.
Don't spend a lot of your time reading too much into things. And don't downplay all the good things that happen in your life. This is a good thing, a good thing that you can kill by over thinking things.
Go with the flow...take the job. Stay friends with this guy though. I know you only want to be friends, but take it from someone who married her best friend (who I turned down dating for 3 1/2 years)...sometimes it's worth it to keep that option open! ;)
2006-07-28 04:18:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not a user. Just pay him back, take him out to dinner with your first paycheck and let him know, even though he didn't have to, he really saved you with this job opportunity. If you already let it known to him that you clearly didn't want anything more than a friendship, then...it was all on him to do what he did. maybe he did it because he wants to see you happy, and since he can not be a part of your life that he wants to be, he atleast can see that you are happy. He sounds like a good guy, granted it is about that...your happiness I mean.
2006-07-28 04:30:24 · answer #3 · answered by Prince J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not. You didn't ask for his help. He volunteered to help you in finding a part-time job and was able to find one without your knowledge. Just accept his help since you need it. However, before you do so, be open with him. Tell him that yes, you really appreciate his help but no, this doesn't mean that you'll go out with him. Now, if his intention was really just to help you and not manipulate the situation to his advantage, he will understand and will accept your gratitude.
2006-07-28 04:20:47 · answer #4 · answered by Dark Beauty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no, you're not a user.
you were right to be a friend and turn down dating if you didn't feel for him the way that you should feel about someone you would date.
he wants to help you because he has feelings ... but you didn't ask him to.
you would make him feel like a good friend for helping you if you took the job. if you feel the need to it might be a good idea to say "you're such a good friend for helping me" or something so he gets that you appreciated it but are NOT accepting it as a boyfriend thing.
good luck on your new job!
2006-07-28 04:10:58 · answer #5 · answered by tami 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No your not a user if he approached you about the job. I would make it clear to him that its just a job and you are to stay friends nothing more. Although he may grow on you and there could be more in the future ya never know.
2006-07-28 04:09:38 · answer #6 · answered by ella s 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dont be silly , take the job ..
With guys u have to be a user and an abuser , they r nothing but bunch of dogs anyways.
2006-07-28 04:08:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are a fool if you dont accept.
You didnt promise him anything, he offered to help either because he wanted to or he thinks he is getting something out of it, your only obligation to him is to do the work that is required then, aside from that you are neither using him nor do you have to put up anything personal for him. If that was his intent behind offering you assistance than its his sad loss.,
2006-07-28 04:18:34 · answer #8 · answered by jm3650 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good friends can also help each other!!!Does not necessarily mean anything else!!! On one side, you said you like the guy and accepts him as a friend.....is it nagging you?
2006-07-28 04:10:44 · answer #9 · answered by THE WORRIER 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You'd be a user if you asked him to find you a job. He came to you. You wouldn't be a user to take a job that was offered to you when you need it, you'd be smart.
2006-07-28 04:09:31 · answer #10 · answered by mytreacheryiseternal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you will accept it if he thinks nothing of it. Just a favour from one friend to another.
2006-07-28 11:55:23 · answer #11 · answered by 1/6,833,020,409 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋