I used to be very controled person but lately i don't know what's wrong with me. Allthough i'm with my boyfriend from more than 1 year and i do trust him, i can't help with being jealous over an ex-fiance of his. He's been telling me so many things about her that i could actually imagine what their relation was like, he stoped doing that now but however each time i hear about her or see she'[s been calling him or enything i go crazy inside of me (i try not to show but eventually i end up by talking to him about this). He sais i have no reason to feel this way and that he loves me, no anybody else. But i simply can't control the way i feel. Please give me some advice!!!
2006-07-27 20:05:33 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I did talk to him about how i feel, i eaven asked him to cut eny comunication to her. Actually when we met he wanned to cut comunication to her and she wouldn't stop calling him, after a while he figured there's nothing wrong in talking (out of mercy, he told me). Usually he sais he simply can't say NO to anybody, and that besides he has no reason not to talk to her cos she's been ok lately and it would be ridiculous to stop just like that. And trully i feel ridiculous myself for tryig to make him not talk to her and for how jealous i am at a ghost.
2006-07-27 20:32:35 · update #1
Of course, there is a reason ! Your need for security, for respect, for reassurance, your need for being cared about....
learn a more effective way to communicate your needs...
see cnvc.org
here's a sample:
Best Answer -
Anger (fear, confusion, etc.) is NOT caused by what someone else does or says - It is caused by what you THINK about what someone did or said!!! People are buttheads all the time.....But it gets to you IF you say to yourself THEY SHOULDN'T BE LIKE THAT~! You think people should know better; but, they don't!
When you realize you have no control over what others DO ; but, you DO have control over what you THINK about what they do. This puts YOU in control over your own emotions!!! It's empowering..... You can say, "hey, I don't like what he just said, but he just doesn't know any better!" In other words, cut people some slack; cut yourself some slack, too. Don't expect to be good at this overnight; just say "Oops, I just let that get to me again!" " Let's see, what could I think about this to feel better?"
2006-07-27 20:33:38 · answer #1 · answered by bjoybeads 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off the fact that the two of you discussed his ex shows that you have an open relationship. You have been together for over a year and he has not gone any where. So then it should show that he does love you. After all he is still with you. Now as for the fact that your getting so jealous, don't you think you should let it go. Nothing has happened to change you mind about how he feels. RIGHT.
Every time you start to feel jealous, think of all the wonderful time you have spent together. The two of you. Try to spend a bit more time with each other and tell him how you are feeling. Tell him that you getting jealous at times and ask him for his help. Be open and honest with him. He will appreciate it more and he will appreciate you more.
2006-07-27 20:16:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well its obvious that you feel uncomfortable whenever her name is mentioned. And perhaps you're jealousy is coming from the fact that he and that girl where engaged. He hasn't asked you. Maybe you feel that if some certian curmistances didn't happen he would have married her.
Ask him what made him break it off with her.
Good luck.
2006-07-27 20:14:01 · answer #3 · answered by Janel Nelson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't allow your confidence level to be lowered. Every person goes through ups and downs in life. You do things normally without attaching too much importance to what is being said to you.
VR
2006-07-27 20:09:22 · answer #4 · answered by sarayu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal to feel jealousy when he talks to her still, and talks about her.
Draw a line: no more communication with her, or talk about her.
Or goodbye. If he feels you're a forever love, he will not cross the line. If he does, it was not meant to be.
2006-07-27 20:11:48 · answer #5 · answered by ?seeker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't have an answer
2014-12-06 00:53:07 · answer #6 · answered by CathyFirst Name 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very simple... ask him to respect your relationship & reduce or discontinue their contact!
If he truly loves you, that will not be an issue but watch for the sneaky stuff!
2006-07-27 20:10:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right. It is a trust issue. Its hard to give up your heart to someone and trust them. It is something you have to work on.. And i really can't tell you how.
2006-07-27 20:10:45 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is understandable to feel this way if the problem keeps coming maybe you need to find another person
2006-07-27 20:11:36 · answer #9 · answered by juanita2_2000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋