My b/f said before he does anything he will put my interest in the 1st place, i feel happy but in same time i feel that he is not fair to himself. If he does things considering of me, he would not consider of himself.. This is unfair to him.
I hope he can do things considering both me & himself.
Why this is so contraditive?
2006-07-27 19:51:24 · 6 answers · asked by a V a 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Since he is willing to put your interest in the 1st place, it doesn't made a diiference to him whether it is fair to him already. I think he does consider his stand at the same time too. It's just that whenever there is no choice things or decision that benefits you will come first. he doesn't mind if he don't get the things in his way. I think most of the things he do will let both of you happy.
No doubt you want him to consider himself first but sometimes life is so contradicting. There maybe only one choice and one of you have to give up his/her choice and in your case your bf is willing to sacrifice himself for you so that you can be happy.
He is a great guy and this type of bf is not easy to find nowadays. Do cherish him.
2006-07-28 02:45:42 · answer #1 · answered by Clown & Joker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Though he will put your interest in the 1st place, it doesn't mean he couldn't do it for himself at the same time too. I would think he does put himself into consideration too, it's just that whenever there is something he could only have place for only one of you, he will sacrifice his need for yours. Other than that, I think most of the things he will still do things that both of you will be happy. So, don't worry, I think both are you are doing well, considering you are attempting to put his interest in the 1st place too if you harbour this thought, you two should work out to be a great couple who think for each other.
2006-07-28 06:17:55 · answer #2 · answered by firefly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't have to be. I always thought if it were meant to be then your life would go in the same direction and you wouldn't have to sacrifice your happiness. Maybe it's silly. I don't know.
I figure that both people should be happy though. If either has to give up thier happiness, then that will only breed resentment and the relationship will eventually end, I think.
That's not to say that there aren't certain things you have to give up, but I'm just saying if you give up your happiness for another, it might be well intentioned, but it's not best for the relationship and overall bad for both. This is just my observation.
2006-07-28 02:58:13 · answer #3 · answered by militantfairy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is putting your needs before his own, he was likely taught to put a woman's needs first. Although he is being a gentleman, take care that he does not totally discount his own needs and become resentful. This might be a good time to discuss how you and he could both have your needs met and he still can pursue his goals for himself. You both need to communicate.
2006-07-28 02:58:56 · answer #4 · answered by leathersammie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems very contradictive, because you are the one in the situation. To me, it seems like he's considering himself by considering you first. if one part of the relationship is not happy, the other part cannot be. youre both looking out for what's best for your partner, your love. If youre always watching their backs, they'll always watch yours, and you'll both be happy.
2006-07-28 03:49:25 · answer #5 · answered by stu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that shows that how important of you in his life. it does sound unfair for him but sometimes its just naturally happen when you care and love someone.
so what you can do is to compromise. talk and discuss with him what should be prioritised most.
dun worie, u guys will work things out.
2006-07-28 02:58:11 · answer #6 · answered by nao 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋