If someone commited a crime when they were 12 - 13 years old and never got in trouble for the crime, yet years later the criminal says he changed saying,"It was a stupid thing I did when I was 12 I have since changed my life totally". Should I or anyone else think bad about that person.
2006-07-27 19:50:03 · 7 answers · asked by Lasher702 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
We aren't talking murder.
2006-07-27 19:50:48 · update #1
And the person seems genuinely remorseful?
2006-07-27 19:53:38 · update #2
Thank you so much so far for the very helpful answers and the person is in their late 20s and is a family member. There are alot of great people here and I thank you again for your insight.
2006-07-27 20:00:49 · update #3
Yes. It has been found in the science and medical community that the part of the brain that can look ahead to the consequences of our actions dosn't fully develop untill someone is 18-21 years old.
If there is genuine remorse and they keep themselves clean then they deserve to be free from their youthful actions.
2006-07-27 19:57:17 · answer #1 · answered by billybetters2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one should think badly about that person, unless they were hurt by the crime committed. Even then, there is the matter of "There, but for the grace of God, go I." If your life took you down that same path that the criminal's did, would you have done the same or differently? No one can ever truly know. Besides, the criminal says he's changed, but has he done anything to prove it? Also, how far into adulthood is this "criminal"? There are a lot of factors that go into changing as a person, and two of the biggest are time and experience. If the "criminal" hasn't had enough of either and hasn't done anything to atone for his crimes, then take anything he says with a grain of salt, but don't dismiss it totally, until he screws up again. Then, it's up to you, whether or not you want to forgive him again or just cast him out of your life.
2006-07-28 02:58:25 · answer #2 · answered by jaybirdri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, someone can really change.
As to whether you should think bad about the person...it isn't really a great idea to think bad about anybody. Maybe you mean you are hesitant to befriend someone who used to be--and may still be--violent or a thief or a rapist or something. The only way to determine this is to sit back, watch, and wait. Look for evidence that this person is a good person. If he or she isn't and has bad intentions, it will all come out eventually.
What I do is I suspend judgment with people I'm unsure about. I don't let them in too close and I don't give them much personal information. I just sit back and watch...and sooner or later they prove themselves one way or the other.
2006-07-28 02:55:06 · answer #3 · answered by Gestalt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that is a young age. They might have changed, but usually you can tell by someone's behavior if they have changed. I knew this guy who had sex with his gf and she was 17 and he was 18, and he broke up with her and on his 21st bday the cops arrested him for "rape" against her even though it was mutual and years before. He was convicted and now his whole life is ruined because she was jealous. I dont know if this really helps, but put yourself in that persons shoes, would you want to be judged by something you did or might have done when you were young?
2006-07-28 02:57:14 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. Presley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone makes mistakes. Some make bigger, but the most important thing is that we learn from them and then have much better judgement later on. If they truly have changed their life, I don't think anyone has the right to judge them. We've all made some mistakes.
2006-07-28 02:55:43 · answer #5 · answered by mushykins 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uhm.
I think you or anyone else should give the person a chance and get to know the person before judging them on that incident. heck i heard about two boys who killed someone because they wanted to know what it felt like to murder someone. but if your not talking murder, then i dont think it's as big a deal. if it's like doing drugs, i think it's completely possible, since i know someone who is like that.
I say give everybody you meet a chance to show themselves, and if after like a week you still don't think they are "good" people, then slowly stop contacting them.
if people dont give others a chance, its almost like saying they're going to hold a person accountable for breaking a toy when he or she was a baby.
(heh kinda redundant, sorry. )
2006-07-28 03:02:38 · answer #6 · answered by crystal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!!! Don't beat yourself up about this, you were a CHILD and didn't possess the acumen that you obviously have now, keep doing, feeling and being the person that you are evolving into NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-07-28 03:01:48 · answer #7 · answered by hartford72@verizon.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋