My bf and I were together for over 3 years and we broke up about a month ago. We've been on a talking level and have hung out once or twice as friends since the break up. Today when we were talking on the phone, he made the comment, "you're as stable as a drunk person during an earthquake." We were kinda arguing because I didn't want to go over and he threw that at me, then turned around and said he was joking. I didn't think it was funny and he got mad cuz I don't have a sence of humor. He's never once called me down and has always told me he's very proud for the accomplishments I've made. I have no desire to talk or see him anymore after what he said. My mom said he was probably trying to make me feel bad because he's hurting about the break up but it's totally unlike him to say something that mean. Should I just cut all tries with him and just move on?
2006-07-27 18:36:56 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sounds to me like it was just a bad judgement call. Guys are notorious for that.
I think you should let it go and remain friends. (Unless he does it again.)
2006-07-27 18:40:43 · answer #1 · answered by iggwad ™ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say go with your heart and usually by 3 years he should know the type of sense of humor you have. But if this was the first time then yes it could be a strong possibility that he is just hurt over the break up and by you not coming over as he requested he realizes that he has no control anymore. A man losing control can cause him to act very childish and do abnormal things only because they don;t want to show there real feelings of being hurt, it messes with their man hood. So ignore the put down and look at it as a compliment that he wants u there but u have the control now something that he wants. If he doesn;t change his ways after explaining how his crazy talk affends you then leave him alone there's too many men out here girl that would love to take his place believe me and you probaly could find someone that better understands your sense of humor and live more comfortably. Good luck!
2006-07-27 18:45:45 · answer #2 · answered by Tiffany G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been together 3 years? You should be able to talk openly by now. Why did you break up anyway. . .that could be your underlying problem. If that one comment he made hurt you so much, TALK to him about it. Guys don't have hidden messages in their words like we (ladies) do. If you really do want to get back together with him, don't let one comment ruin the whole relationship. My husband and I have been together 5 years. During that time, I'm sure we both have made some rude comment. Thing is, it may have been an accident, or didn't mean for it to come across as being rude.
Just ask him about what he means by you not being stable. DON'T GET DEFENSIVE! Let him tell you what he feels. Maybe it's something you both can work on together. And make him listen to what you feel. Maybe he's just trying to help you. I mean, he's been with you for 3 years. He's gotta have some insight into you. Anyway, give him a chance to explain. Everyone needs a little help now and then. My husband keeps me in check sometimes, and I do the same for him. He points out things about me that I never noticed, and I do the same for him. We work together to make ourselves better people. We just try not to take it as a personal attack. Good luck.
2006-07-27 18:49:49 · answer #3 · answered by lkjgfyfukh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly girl...if that's the worst you've ever been critisized by him, then you're doing pretty darn good. Seriously, most guys have little or no respect for women and some just like to joke around. You did say that he isn't the type to do that stuff so that does sound a little strange that he'd insult you like that. It very well may be that he has resentment due to the break-up. Best way to really tell where he's coming from is to sit down and have a one on one chat with the guy and if he still shows that bitter or "it's just a joke" side -- drop him, he's definately NOT worth the stress.
Good luck!
2006-07-27 18:43:43 · answer #4 · answered by chels21 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds like a humorous jibe.... Maybe next time you could have a quick, humorous response just to make sure feathers aren't seriously ruffled. If there is another time, maybe a "Yeah, and that's about as funny as a barrel of monkeys on Quaaludes, too," might quell the tension. You can both get a laugh, because yours would be funnier and then talk about anything you think might be a better topic of conversation.
Then, if he fails to recognize your superiority in the realm of humor, tell him don't let the door hit you in the asss on the way out, which works better if he's at your place, rather than the other way around, because if you tell him that at his place, then it just wouldn't work, unless you're also his landlady.
2006-07-27 18:44:26 · answer #5 · answered by Just Ask 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two had 3 years together, and it's over now. I say move on for your sake. If in the future you both have moved on, then it may be cool to be on speaking terms again. You both may have a good friendship under the surface and I believe that if you stay friends now, that it may ruin it. Take a break and cut off the ties for now, because there is probably a lot of arguing in the near future. That's not good for emotional health.
2006-07-27 18:42:36 · answer #6 · answered by Seinfeld 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you're still not really over him and is in no mood to accept a lame joke. If he knows how deeply hurt you are, just observe how well he apologizes and how well he tries to avoid repeating that after you forgive him.
Besides a drunk person is as stable as a nondrunk person during a strong earthquake. That should confound him if you told him so at the spur of the moment.
2006-07-27 18:40:35 · answer #7 · answered by Odin M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, you guys have a lot of history w/ each other. You're willing to throw that away over a sarcastic comment. Let me make it plain and simple for you. Guys are stupid. They say things that they don't mean, and if we (as girls) overanalyze what they might mean under the surface, we only are going to depress ourselves. Try honesty. Be blunt. Be brutally honest. Most guys appreciate it. Just quit beating around the bush. If he still insults you and makes you feel like this after being totally honest, then yes, move on.
2006-07-27 18:42:12 · answer #8 · answered by music_junkie_55 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your mom was right-but who needs that kind of a remark? It's up to you if you cut all ties with him...if he apologizes, he might mean it...you know him, what do YOU think? You had a reason for breaking up-maybe you should just be friends-but occasional ones, not close. When you say "just move on"...were you hoping/trying to get back with him? You have to decide how much "crap" you will and should take. Just keep in mind, some guys have a bad sense of humor, and you need to believe in yourself, stay true to yourself. Don't let ANY guy destroy your self worth and self confidence.
Good luck!
2006-07-27 18:45:46 · answer #9 · answered by shannon e 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't end a friendship/relationship over a comment like that. Your mom is probably right and he was trying to hurt your feelings since he is hurting. Give it some time and you both will get use to the breakup. But most of all just follow your heart, your feelings is what matters the most.
2006-07-27 18:46:28 · answer #10 · answered by Is This A Dream 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first, sorry but i laughed at the comment he made. i thought it was funny. so, it may have just been a joke.
However, it sounds like he struck a nerve and it he picked at a sensitive area in your life (concerns about stability/security/etc) that wasn't cool.
But here is the biggest HOWEVER: this was the first time he insulted you in over three years? Forgive and try to forget. Honestly, it sounds like the guy is a good guy who's wounded by a broken heart. I kinda feel bad for him
2006-07-30 16:56:48 · answer #11 · answered by annabanana4883 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋