Someone asked recently about being in your 40s and the husband has just given up on sex. I went through the same thing, and it's truly a heartache. Actually, our sex life had never been that great. Infrequent, he would not initiate it much even as newlyweds, and sort of frequent e.d. even from younger ages. When he was 48 and I was 44, he basically decided our sex life was over, period, although that was not what I wanted. Nothing worked to improve his interest in me. He used porn instead. He refused to use Viagra (got some at my request, never used it, with me anyway -- doctor told us he did not really need it anyway -- husb. said "I hate to take it and waste [the] $6 [it costs per pill] if you wouldn't be in the mood. And it's too hard to time it on an empty stomach but at a decent hour." Yeah, the way our sex life was, that'd have been a whopping $6 a month, how insulting.
It turned out he's gay and just didn't want a woman. Wish he'd admitted it to me before 20 yrs marr. & 5 kids
2006-07-27 17:38:48 · 21 answers · asked by catintrepid 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
rwhatley, thx -- your email is not working :-( email me if u like
2006-07-27 17:55:30 · update #1
Well he is not what you really need anyway and I am sure that you can find your happiness through other things..Get involved with your children and maybe some adult groups at church..Just keep going with your life.
2006-07-27 17:46:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hello catintrepid,
I'm sorry to hear about this. I hope that you're taking care of yourself. There are plenty of vibrators out there that you can buy to take care of your needs.
I've known guys that are taking blood pressure medication that effects their desire for sex, and I've known guys that just weren't into sex in general. Me on the other hand, have been horny most of my life.
Have you ever watched porn with him? Maybe there's a technique that he really likes that you can learn from this. The alternative is finding a guy on the side. There's plenty of guys that would love to get with you, I'm sure.
Best of luck to you.
--Rick
2006-07-27 17:52:19 · answer #2 · answered by rickrudge 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm amazed you were able to write that many words and not ask a question. I'm sorry for the kids though. Been there and it sucks when Dads/Husbands decide to give up and decide to be gay. Good luck!
2006-07-27 17:47:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think if you are willing to stay with him its your choice. you also need to consider if he wants terapy because may be he is confused. but if he really is sure he won't change then you have the last word. I have been almost in the same position as you (15 year married and 5 kids.) but my husband is straight. But I know how it feels to be alone. He needs to put his feelings in order and then take a decision. you have the right to be happy but if I were you i would wait for the children to grow up more.Good luck!
2006-07-27 17:54:04 · answer #4 · answered by coolchick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that, having someone waste so much of your time like that must be awful. You could look at the good side and think of all the catching up you can do though! Good luck!
2006-07-27 17:44:12 · answer #5 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry about your heartbreak......it must seem as though you have invested your life savings into a stock market scam. But, my dear, your life is not over. There is much life left and you have 5 kids. Finding out their father is a queer must have been devastating to them. You may email me if you need someone to talk to.
2006-07-27 17:45:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hay im 46 and havent had sex in 10 years but im willing to try even though im about half dead,,,,,come over right away,,,,,,,just kiddin hun but atleast i aint gay,cause there aint no switchin this mans kitchen p.s. bring the viagra or the cialis i want 1 of them 4 hour hard ons
2006-07-27 17:46:16 · answer #7 · answered by EAGLE_ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, look at it this way, at least you don't have to feel bad
wondering what you had done wrong. Be glad you know
the truth. Live your life and find a real man !!! Best of luck!!!
2006-07-27 17:48:05 · answer #8 · answered by frustrated 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How heartbreaking. I just can't imagine going through something like this and keeping my sanity. He was awful selfish to wait 20 years to tell you this. I would want to commit murder.
2006-07-27 17:44:23 · answer #9 · answered by jbpammy004 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats sad, I am one of those people who's husbands have given sex up. but i dont think hes gay. because i told him if he ever wanted a bf it would be fine with me as long as he told me. (im bi and he allows me a gf, which i dont have one but he would allow it) Unless hes personally ashamed to be gay.? he does like anal. hummmmmmmm??
2006-07-27 17:49:41 · answer #10 · answered by naightengale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋