I really like coming home after working and changing into something more comfortable but my fiance would rather me stay in my other clothes until later during the evening because he likes to see me dressed up. I understand and I told him we could compromise and I would do it half of the time. I wear sandals and flip flops a lot and he has a foot fetish and does not like that I wear them. He would rather me wear shoes so my feet will be sweaty when he takes my shoes off. I also told him I would leave my shoes on half of the time when I come home even though I would rather just get more comfortable. These issues have been a problem for quite a while, and I feel that he does not appreciate that I try to look nice for him, but I still would like to be comfortable at times. He never really sees me in just tee shirts and jeans or shorts. I am usually wearing slacks or skirts. Any advice on how to resolve this issue between the both of us?
2006-07-27 17:31:54 · 15 answers · asked by soulplane 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yikes, it sounds like he's WAY too demanding! I don't know what to say except, I would save the "dressy" days for romantic nights. It's a lot to ask of a person to walk around in uncomfortable, sweaty shoes just so the other person can get off on it. He sounds like he's into his own needs and doesn't appreciate that you have your own. I like to change into pajamas the second I get home; it helps me unwind! I couldn't imagine wearing skirts and slacks all the time...
Think of it this way; most people aren't expected by their loved ones to take part in their fetishes unless it's romance time. Like, if you had a diaper fetish, you wouldn't expect him to wear a diaper every minute he was at home. Why should you succumb to his fetish every minute you're home? That's way too harsh!
All couples have their issues, those persistent problems that don't go away because you're just different. If he's loving and caring in every other way, and you feel good knowing you're marrying him, then maybe it's something you can compromise on. You've already tried but he's STILL pushing you, so talk to him one more time and tell him he's being selfish. He seems pretty persistent and over time it seems you give in a bit more and more, but don't let that happen; show him you have a stance and you're sticking to it. If that fails, maybe you should reconsider marrying him... if he's trying to control such an everyday part of your life NOW, it probably won't be solved after you marry, and by then it'll be harder to break the bonds (even if it might be hard now.)
Good luck..
2006-07-27 17:42:21 · answer #1 · answered by ear help! 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Truly, I think he is a freaky. Does he keep his work clothes on when he goes home? Counseling would be a good think because he doesn't understand something very simple: you need to be comfy at home. Moreover, your loved man/woman is pretty inside, that is why you love him/her, so you don't mind if he/she wears his/her pijamas or anything at all. It seems that he just loves your appearance not you. He needs treatment, that is for sure.
2006-07-28 00:39:20 · answer #2 · answered by Sissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a serious isssue there. Especially if he's your fiance.
He needs to get used to you dressing in whatever, from corporate business wear, to sweats and pajamas.
Was he happy with your compromise? if not, you and he need therapy BEFORE marriage. If he's that uncompomising, then your marriage will be hell.
2006-07-28 13:11:09 · answer #3 · answered by andyjudge1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he really shouldnt tell u to do that. if hes a working man then he knows that you need to relax. if hes fine with staying dressed up then he can just be fine with it. if he comes home and dresses comfortable than hes a hypocrite and should hold his tounge.. but go shopping with him and find more dressy comfy clothes that u can relax in and can be his eyecandy.
2006-07-28 00:37:23 · answer #4 · answered by flirtatiousrocker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be very careful with this guy, he could quite easily become a control freak. Don't let him tell you what to wear, do or think.
2006-07-28 00:36:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay...why are you two getting married you obviously cannot be yourself around him... there for you should not get married unless you want to wear dressy wear all the time! He's trying to make you into someone your not... Its your life... you choose!
2006-07-28 00:35:46 · answer #6 · answered by lilmizzerica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he has some serious issues. He should get therapy before you get married. Otherwise it could get bad.
2006-07-28 18:11:54 · answer #7 · answered by Laura T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should thank God he's only your fiance and not your
husband!!! He has some real disturbing issues. I do not
let any man tell me what to do,...EVER. I will do what I feel
is right for ME. I think he's a weirdo.....get yourself someone
who's NORMAL. Someone who let's YOU ~BE~YOU~~~.
2006-07-28 00:39:00 · answer #8 · answered by CraZyCaT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends. Does he have a foot fetish?
2006-07-28 00:34:54 · answer #9 · answered by bonita_latina_01 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him he is a weirdo. I understand the fetishes but what the hell is he doing for you?
2006-07-28 00:37:02 · answer #10 · answered by peluchitagonzalez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋