To people in countries that arrange marriage..How does it feel when you are told a mate has been found for you

Question

Are you scared or happy or what does that feel like? I'm curious because as an American where things aren't done that way I just wonder what that is like.

Answer 1

I hail from Kerala, India. And arranged marriage is more or less the norm over there. I have to say that most of my friends find it exciting when they hear that their ‘mate has been found for them’. You have to understand that arranged marriages are not done at random or anything. The guy and his family meets the girl, gets to know her (or as close to it as possible. Hey, how much can you know about someone in such a short span of time anyway) and IF they both like each other, then further matters are discussed. I don’t really know how much time all this takes, but it’s not done overnight.

Over here, marriage is seen as a bit more than the union of two people. It’s kinda seen as the union of two families. At least it used to be. Nowadays, with nuclear families being more of the norm, things are changing. In the old days, I am told that having marriages done in that fashion helped maintain a close knit family…

And another thing is that India is a land of diverse culture. The land has a mix of races, religions, languages, customs, etc… So arranged marriages assists in bringing similar people together by reducing the randomness that would characterize the other kinds of marriages. This is rapidly losing its importance in modern society, but still, it’s there.

I’m not supporting the system, but I have nothing against it either. If the people are willing to go that way, let them. But if they are rational enough to make mature decisions on their own, AND they want to find their own partner, then they should do that. Hey, it’s a free country

:)

Answer 2

A lot of ppl dont do arrange marriage...but I have a few friends who does. At the beginning they do not see anybody they like, means they dont have anybody for them yet. Parents will make arrangement for them to meet and they guy will take the girl out so see whether suitable.
Nowadays is not kind of force, then if 2 of them like each other ....there will be marriage.


Well, if the girl already like another person...there will be a lot of objection.....either too bad for the guy or the girl..imagine cannot stay with the person you love and you got to love someone else. (this take time). Once marriage, commitment is thier first priority.

So do you wanna be friends?? I would love to know someone from america...you can email me at [e-mail]

Answer 3

I work with a bunch of doctors from Pakistan and India. I spoke with 2 of them about their arranged marriages and asked them what they would do if they didn't like the mate picked for them. They didn't even entertain the idea. They met before they were arranged, so they kind of knew what was about to transpire and they just made fun of me because in America we have such a high divorce rate.
They seemed to think arranged marriages were just dandy.