I am drowning in debt and tired of juggling what bills to pay when... and for that matter...how?!?

Question

Please help. I've done the debt management thing myself. I've called the creditors to lower our APR's as low as they can go, but we have so many cards opens (& some closed) w/ so much outstanding debt that we have no $ left over a month to pay anything more than the minimums payments. With rent, doctors bills, etc it feels like there's no room to even breathe.I was thinking of filing for bankruptcy, but I don't really know what that means for the things we have. Do they take them back?
I don't want to uproot my family from the only apartment we have ever really been able to call home, but for the past 6 months, we've come close to not being able to pay rent. My husband just got a stable job, so we won't have to put our lives on the credit cards for much longer,but I don't know how we're going to make it this month & possilbly next. We already own his parents for lending us $ last month, so we can't borrow anymore. And there isn't anymore room or time for another job for either of us.

I forgot to mention, the only things that were pu ton the credit cards we necessities. I haven't bought new clothes for 8 years. For Christmas and birthday's my kids are the only lone's to get anything from us, etc. I work 1 job and am a fulltime mom to a 2yr old and 8 yr old. My husband does 3 side jobs and now 1 steady job. It's not like we aren't trying. But for some reason we can't keep up. If we dont' buy groceries on the credit card, we don't eat. We don't order food from out or do anything extravangant. It's work and home. That's it.

I use to have excellent credit before we got married. then my husband lost his job and we had to live off the cards. It's not that I don't have self control...we don't spend money on anything we don't absolutely need. I can't stress that enough. If it was that easy and all I had to do was stop impulse shopping I wouldn't have this problem. I can't event pay the electric bill this month and the frig is almost empty. This is serious. Things got sooo bad and I was angry at my husband for letting it get so far we came close to divorce. but because we still do love each other we didn't.

Answer 1

Here's what I would do.... and I could be completely wrong. I'm not a lawyer. Don't trust anything I say. Nothing I say should be interpreted as legal advice. It's not. It's for entertainment purposes, for your amusement. It's a joke.... Here goes...

There is no urgency. You have plenty of time. Don't worry about them taking anything if you file for bankruptcy. They can't take anything you need to live (including wedding rings and things of personal value). The nonessential stuff that you own, unless it's easily liquidable and valuable, I don't think they are going to take from you. Even after bankruptcy, you are allowed a moderately lenient budget that even allows for entertainment expenses, newspaper, cable TV, etc. You might be surprised what they let you say you need to live comfortably.

Bankruptcy is more of a hassle after the new laws, but don't let that worry you. There is no law that says you have to file for bankruptcy, even if you don't pay your bills. NO one ever goes to jail for going bankrupt or for not paying a credit card bill. The whole thing is a civil case so you are not in any real danger. Even if you have the money but refuse to pay the credit card bill, the worst they can ever do is find a way to take it from you. (Assuming of course you are always honest and never try to conceal your identity.)

I would suggest you simply stopping paying ALL of your credit card bills. You'll get harrassed by bill collectors. Get an answering machine. If you ever talk to them personally, keep telling them you don't think you have to answer any of their questions. You don't. (Except for some basics, such as confirming your identity and that you are employed.) You can even keep two-way communication with them, but just keep saying you don't know what you're going to do about the bill.

9 months later or so, the credit card companies will sell your debt to a collection agency for pennies on the dollar. The collection agency will try to work out a payment plan with you. I suggest not cooperating with them. Wait until it goes to court (don't worry, you don't ever have to appear physically in court), and there is an actual civil judgement against you. The judgement will likely have an interest rate plus court costs.

Still, not to worry. They can only take a certain percentage of your income, if they do garnish your wages. I think it may be about 15%. (It sounds like currently you are paying 100% of your income to them.) If the interest on your judgement keeps compounding, I think it will just grow and grow and grow, until finally, if you didn't already, you will qualify for Chapter 7 bankruptcy and be eligible to have the whole debt discharged, because by then it would be so huge it would be impossible to reorganize it under Chapter 13 and pay it off in your lifetime.

I believe, if you simply do nothing, things will get worse and worse and worse (but all the while you can put food on the table because you aren't paying them), until finally, things get so bad they finally let it all go as a bygone.

Simply go delinquent on the credit card bill for about 9 months and the credit card company "writes off" your debt anyway. Write-offs are a normal part of their business. But unfortunately, they usually do sell it to a bill collector afterwards.

Before you feel ashamed about being a "write off" and having everyone carry your weight because you were a "deadbeat", keep in mind that no one ever HAS to use credit cards, and write-offs and bankruptcies are an unavoidable part of the system. You do not FORCE other consumers to pick up your slack in the form of higher interest rates. Everyone has a choice to use a credit card or not. Everyone has the right to pay cash or check for everything.

Before you feel bad about not having known how to manage your money (or lack of which), keep in mind that you are exactly where the powers-that-be always wanted you. They had a plan for you the day they mailed out your first credit card application. It was: "Scared. Broke. Overworked." That's their ultimate plan for you. Simply stop being scared of them, and you foil their plan. I say, don't pay. See what they do about it. The biggest prison you have to battle is in the mind. There is no debtor's prison in America.

Pay the rent. Put food on the table. Enjoy yourself. Let THEM worry about it. You are the one with the power now, and they hope you don't know it. You have the power because you are the only one capable of repaying the debt in your name. You have the power. You are in control. Don't worry.

You DO have room to breathe. Plenty.

Answer 2

For financial and credit subject I was search for solutions at this site: QUOTEHELP.NET-

RE I am drowning in debt and tired of juggling what bills to pay when... and for that matter...how?!?

Please help. I've done the debt management thing myself. I've called the creditors to lower our APR's as low as they can go, but we have so many cards opens (& some closed) w/ so much outstanding debt that we have no $ left over a month to pay anything more than the minimums payments. With rent, doctors bills, etc it feels like there's no room to even breathe.I was thinking of filing for bankruptcy, but I don't really know what that means for the things we have. Do they take them back?
I don't want to uproot my family from the only apartment we have ever really been able to call home, but for the past 6 months, we've come close to not being able to pay rent. My husband just got a stable job, so we won't have to put our lives on the credit cards for much longer,but I don't know how we're going to make it this month & possilbly next. We already own his parents for lending us $ last month, so we can't borrow anymore. And there isn't anymore room or time for another job for either of us.

Answer 3

I recommend you see a bankruptcy attorney. They can review your debts and advise you on what you can legally keep if you decde to file bankruptcy. They would advise you on the possibilities: (a) stop paying some bills and apply the amount to bankruptcy fees; (b) consolidate payments, at lower rates they negotiate for you; (c) some other plans.
They will advise you WHAT the laws are on what you may keep.
They can stop the over the limit fees, extra interest, and other fees that keep piling up as long as you cannot pay everything. Though you cannot negotiate that yourself, a bankrtupcy attorney can.

Get a lawyer's advice. Other advise on here is a start. But you need a lawyer who specializes in collections laws and bankrtuptcy, and reviews all your income and liabilities. You might well do with a "fresh start" bankrtupcy. You can stay in the apartment, having enough to pay if you do not have to pay all the credit card bills.

Information online is only worth so much. Consolidation plans are not good for everybody. You need enough income to pay a negotiated plan, and it is very difficult to get everybody to agree on consolidation. See a lawyer before you stop paying bills. Some of the advice here is really bad, though well intentioned I am sure.

Answer 4

Start with the small things. Thats what I had to do. Things like, cable/dish, cell phones, internet, or even home phones. If your in that much debt, things like this shouldnt seem that important. Believe me, they add up too. Filing Bankruptcy anymore really isnt an option. They have tightened up on who can and can not file.

Some people say start with the credit cards with the highest rates and other say the lowest balance. Just remember when you pay off one card, take that extra money and put it towards the next card as well. If you've purchased something on credit recently, take it back. Get second jobs.

The following comes from suzeorman.com

Having covered the topic at length in my Nine Steps Book, I am only going to summarize it here, because if you need to pay off debts, you need to know everything you can. However, here are ten important points to keep in mind:
If you are in credit card trouble, you must cut up all of your credit cards now, with the possible exception of one card for emergencies; do not carry this card in your wallet, however.

You must pay more than the minimum payment every month, as much more as you possibly can. If you owe a credit card company $5000 at 18 percent interest and all you do is pay the minimum each month it will take you over 30 years to pay it off.

You must pay off the credit card with the highest interest rate first, and the rest in descending order.

You must negotiate for yourself the best interest rates, even if it means switching credit cards every six months.

You must understand everything about how your credit card works--all fees, how the company charges you, all about the so-called grace period, everything.

You must honor all your debts equally--whether it's the money you owe Visa, or the money you owe your brother.

After you pay off one credit card, you must apply the money you have been paying that particular company to paying off another credit card.

If you doubt that you can do this yourself, you must get in touch with a wonderful nonprofit agency known as the Consumer Credit Counseling Service; they can be reached by calling 1-800-388-2227. They will help you organize and consolidate your debt.

You must never let this happen again.

After your debts have all been paid off, you are to apply the money you were paying all those months toward creating your future.

Answer 5

My wife and I suffered some serious financial difficulty when a job injury left me unemployable for some time. All told, we lived off our credit cards and cash advances until we could no longer even make the minimums. Of course debt consolidation wouldn't work... we owed way too much, and we were constantly advised by the "professionals" to file bankruptcy. That wasn't a viable alternative for us. We were bound and determined to pay off our debts and felt filing bankruptcy was a legal way to cheat the people who provided all the things we had. In the end, however, we found that we could qualify for several different government and state grants, and until I started working, those saved us. So, if you are bound and determined to pay back what you owe, check into the various grants that are available. But DO NOT get involved in ANYTHING you see on the Internet regarding grants... they are all scams. There are plenty of reference books at the library, and they are free. Good luck.

Answer 6

My husband and I filed bankruptcy about two years ago, and you can pick and choose what you want to file against . We were able to keep our house and our cars, basically we just eliminated credit cards. I think it was the best thing we could do . It is hard to live without credit cards though. And after three months after filing, I could not believe all of the offers that we got from cars, homes, etc.I know the feeling!! Good luck to ya!!!!

Answer 7

Try http://www.daveramsey.com He offers excellent advice for situations like yours. I am working his plan after feeling like I was drowning in debt and it does work. In the meantime if you can not afford the plan on the website check his book out of the library and read it. It really works! Also since your husband now has steady employment try to deal with the debt rather than file bankruptcy.

Answer 8

I knew what your situation right now, what I can suggest is 1st you fold your card for you not to be tempted for using it. Dont bring your card if your going to room around the mall. You have to had a self control and disiplined. And why not try also apply
for a bank 1% balanced transfer then fold the card.

Answer 9

do you have a home? try to get a 2nd loan and get some cash out. Then pay-off all your credit cards, car loans, etc. It feels good if you have to pay only your mortgage.

next time you don't spend more than you earn.

Answer 10

Hi, I think you need to consolidate your debts. The following articles might help you:

Debt Consolidation - Get Out Of Debt
http://www.askaquery.com/Answers/qn1643.html

How to Hire a Debt Counselor?
http://www.askaquery.com/Answers/qn1584.html

What is Debt Relief?
http://www.askaquery.com/Answers/qn1583.html

Debt Management and Building Wealth
http://www.askaquery.com/Answers/qn1581

How to lower your debts?
http://www.askaquery.com/Answers/qn1576.html

How to reduce debt : How to lower your expenses?
http://www.askaquery.com/Answers/qn1577.html

How to Manage Your Credit Card Debt?
http://www.askaquery.com/Answers/qn1579.html

Best Ways to Consolidate Credit Card Debt
http://www.askaquery.com/question/Best-Ways-to-Consolidate-Credit-Card-Debt.html