Is marriage over-rated?

Question

I have a great relationship and the topic of marriage may be a deal breaker for us. I think that marriage is a statement that is sacred and says "I love and commit myself fully to this person". I made a decision a long time ago not to "play house". I told my man from the beginning that I would not date him perpetually. He gives me the age old argument of "it's just a piece of paper". I don't buy that one and I am curious about how other people feel.

Answer 1

Marriage is UNDER-RATED. It is so maligned and abused, too many people live single, sad, lonely lives because they're afraid to commit because of all the bad press out there. How many TV shows survive on the air, or even get on the air, that show a stable loving committed couple living a happy life together, versus those that show one or the other partner as a bumbling idiotic fool? One that sometimes doesn't even deserve the spouse they have? A stand up comedian's stock and trade is the failings of a relationship. Marital or otherwise. Marriage is a lot of work. It is every day focusing on someone besides yourself. It is the most wonderful thing ever IF it is done right. It is certainly NOT just a piece of paper. It is a commitment for all the ages publicly declared by two in love committed people. If your guy doesn't want to commit, find out what shows he watches, or who's relationship failed that he's getting bad advice from. It doesn't hurt to study what causes relationships to fail. It empowers you to sidestep these pit falls.

Answer 2

the problem is people do not respect it, it become a political, selfish tug of war, marriage today is no longer rooted in religion, much less community values, it has lost it's value and appeal to al lthose coming into marriage. i for one do not blame your BF, there is simply nothing in it for him, he loose far too much should he marry and then later divorce, especially when children are involved. the divorce laws have long since been ammended by the feminist to the point where fault cannot be assinged to a given party and thus judgements rendered for those who fault. by giving nuetrality or a dissolution, a no fault state now exists, this means a women can cheat, bear a child out of wedlock with a given lover and the husband will pay the price, by force of sale of house, paying alimony to an unfaithful spouse ect..marriage as the state see it is nothing more than a business merger ( hence why you need a license to marry ) and the divorce a dissolution ( what it's legally called ) of tghe marriag ( business merger ), hence the split of assest and support for th spouse. women tend to be alturistic about marriage, wanting everythingh including the lega and binding contract ( the license ) and are the 1st to get an attorney once they feel it's too much pressure. after all if you feel marriage is based on love and religion, then indeed your BF is correct, the paper means abosolutely nothing, as you could live the rest of your life together, enjoying the benefits together as a dedicated couple, no amount of paperwork should or could keep you together, after all you LOVE him right? but it goes to show that women have the ulterior motive of wanting the right to sue ( what happens when you divorce.. you are suing the other party ) when that time comes.. and considering the over 60% divorce rate ( higher for the very young.. at about 85% ).. i would not blame him if he never married, until the laws change to once again establish fault so that in the event of a divorce, it becomes fair to punishg those who faulted.

Answer 3

Women make too big a deal out of marriage, that's why it's overrated. That piece of paper changes the way most women think and ultimately turns a good relationship into something else, then nobody can figure out what happened. Why do you think marriages don't last anymore? Only if you are truly friends while together will you have a chance. That marriage license is usually the beginning of the end.

Answer 4

Marriage is an institution to keep women from having to seek a life of prostitution!

For men it is totally pointless, Married men have no legal rights, only legal obligations, While he is OBLIGATED to provide financially even in divorce she has no legal obligations whatsoever to the man.
it has nothing to do with religious obligations because a marriage license is a Legal Contract, that is the first big lie.
You don't have to be Married to be in love, Lie number 2.
and you don't have to be married to make a baby, and despite the numerous lies told on this front after releasing his semen men have no enforceable parental rights.
Whether to give birth or abort, how it is raised, how it is named, There are cases where fathers gain custody but as a rule if the woman wants her baby and she is not a mass murderer the courts will award her custody, A man only has financial obligations and until recently and currently in some states still a child born in a marriage but not of the married father was still the responsibility of the married man. So number 3 is the biggest lie of all.

Answer 5

If you would have asked this question 3 years ago I would have said that no it's not over-rated but from my experience my opinion has changed some. I got married when I was 20 and my husband was 22 and we were married for 4yrs and 8days before our son was born and then he tells me that he wants a divorce. I was devestated. I was married a virgin and in a catholic church and i took my vows seriously. I even remember when we were just dating I asked him if he was sure that he wanted to get married cause I took marriage seriously and I didn't belive in divorce, we had to work things out no matter what........and he aggreed......what a crock, the bastard left me with a child........I was so angry and i told my parents that i resented them for drilling into me this crock about marriage and how i had to be a virgin when i got married, I could have been single and had a baby and be in the same situation.......but you know what the difference was? He had to pay me child support and I was able to stay in our home til the divorce was final and he had to pay all the bills on top of the child support and I got 1/2 of everything we had accumulated over the past 4 years....i heard alot of responses on how its not fair blah blah blah, and i agree. My lawyer told me that there is no fault and you don't have to have a reason to get a divorce and he also told me that it takes 2 people to get married but it just takes 1 to end it........So my point is that marriage IS just a piece of paper or a "legal contract" but in my case i thank god i had that "legal contract" if not he could have just kicked me and my child to the curb with nothing but the measly child support that is not even enough to take care of a baby......I was not working and had a brand new baby, i was forced to go on welfare and WIC until I found a job, if it weren't for that i would have not known how I would feed my baby......if i weren't married he would have thrown me out, which he tried to do which is sad cause he would have been throwing his own child out into the street, but he didn't care.......So good luck to you in whatever you choose to do.

Answer 6

I understand your position. It's not overrated, but it is hard work, and there is no gurantee of success. Mostly, I think that if you are not willing to sign that "piece of paper", you are not willing to knock yourself out to make it work either. Commitment is important, and the statistics show that if you live together first, you are LESS likely to stay together once you marry. So, if you want a long term, stable relationship, marriage is the right thing for you. He may just be the wrong person to marry.

Answer 7

I got married....... and now I'm divorced. So, that tells me that someone I spent many, many years with could decieve me like that.... sh!t.... it's a joke. But, it may work out for you... My ex said the same thing, it's just a piece of paper... word for word... and then I get the I don't need a piece of paper to say that I love you!...... If he continues to say things like that, seriously I would tread very carefully! I know this is a rather negative response... I'm not trying to be, but my "man" said the same things to me... and now we are divorced.

Answer 8

mariage is bad
bad evil thing
very evil bad thing
lots of bad thing happen

mariage is such a happy place that eventually the joy is too much for people to handle on their own and they are forced to invite other people into the house to share in their happines like mistresses and secret lovers and even that is not enough and the joy overflows so much that those same people are then forced to invite more people to share in the joy like lawyers and judges and mediators and such to where the whole things seems like a party of joyous people enjoying a party

Answer 9

if its important to you and he loves you it should be important to him... Try doing what my sister-in-law did with my brother... she gave him an ultimatum that if they didn't get married by a certain time that she was leaving. She only spent one night at her moms house before he realized that he wanted her always, They have been married for five years now!

Answer 10

Totally depends on the people involved.

Marriage is not for the weak, the selfish, or the insecure.