If you had a baby at the age of 16 and the father (your first) ended up in prison. Years go by and you have another child by a different guy. More years go by and you get married. You have more children. But even through it all, you never lose the feelings for the first guy. You are now married, and the other guy is soon to be released. He knows that you are married with other children and doesnt care. He doesnt want to break up your marriage but he has acknowledged your feelings and let youu know his.
Would you try to keep your marriage or would you leave a semi-unhappy marriage to pursue your first love?
2006-07-27 16:53:38 · 18 answers · asked by misslady792003 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The guy is really a sweet heart. He is intellegent. He not like most prisoners. He had a legit job and was ready to start a family with me until he ended up getting blamed for something that he wasnt even in the area to to.
2006-07-27 17:00:19 · update #1
Everyone is here dogging my first. I really wish you wouldnt. He was and is a great guy. I have his only child. We share a bond that No ONe can ever break!
2006-07-27 17:03:59 · update #2
Would I be wrong since I have these feeling for him, to be friends with him and ask my husband to be as well? As long as I am married, nothing will ever happen between us. I feel like I have done enough to piss God off as it is. I don't need adultery on the list.
2006-07-27 17:11:49 · update #3
My marriage isnt the best one out there (notice the semi-happy). There was even more baggage brought from him and just dropped at my doorstep to deal with. His children treat me like crap, their mother is a thorn in my side, his mother treats me like I don't know anything, he refuses to help in saving money to improve on our lives, he is lazy to the fullest extent. I love my husband to death but he has a lot of things that make life hard for me.
2006-07-27 17:18:13 · update #4
Your first love is an ex-con loser, and you want to dump your husband for him, because you are basically bored. Grow up, don't expose your kids to that guy...who will probably end up right back in prison.
2006-07-27 16:56:24 · answer #1 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to sound cold, but stop having babies with every guy you develop feelings for. You can have a relationship without having babies. Why do you need a "bond that can never be broken" with every guy who was ever in your life?
Any decision you make is going to be complicated by the fact that you have children to think about, and your children must come first. Once you have kids, it's not about you any more.
Do you really want to take your latest batch of children away from their father so you can go back to the first guy? How fair is that to them? Don't you think that your oldest is going to be a bit resentful when they find out that you could be with their father but you are with this other guy instead? What about your second child? Do they think of your husband as their father?
He "doesn't want" to break up your marriage??? To be honest, you are playing with fire and giving lip service to your marriage isn't fooling anyone.
What have you done to work on your marriage?
2006-07-28 09:06:42 · answer #2 · answered by BoomChikkaBoom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your unhappy with your husband, but yet this loser guy that is getting out of prison who has nothing to offer you, he is just passing time with you after he gets out of prison he could do two things, Get a life and better himself or just go back into prison. It is better for you find out what you want do for your children, and not listen to this loser that won't even have a job, or a car, best bet is make yourself happy be alone for a while, forget the first love...just a fantasy..
2006-07-28 00:01:27 · answer #3 · answered by qdrama1956 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a decision that only you can answer, you have to put into consideration how your children will react to this, will your ex be going back to jail, and do you really love him, and is your marriage really failing. A lot of people have feelings for their ex, but do not put into consideration what is best for themselves and their children. My answer is that, if you are in an abusive marriage, then that's when you should leave, not because the marriage is old. They re are always ways to rebuild your marriage, and if you leave the marriage, you may never get it back, good luck.
2006-07-28 00:07:34 · answer #4 · answered by wiggins277 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We will never forget our first loves. I guess, it's because that kind of love is pure and we tend to give our all into the relationship and when it fails, we never forget it because we invested heavily into that relationship. So many years have past and prison has changed this man. It may have harden him in many ways to survive inside prison. You might feel semi happy with your marriage but you vowed to be with this man. Doesnt that mean anything at all? The fact that he chose to be with you despite of having kids from different man, is an indication that he loves you and is a good man...Give your marriage a chance...
2006-07-28 00:13:45 · answer #5 · answered by wittlewabbit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have children from your current husband?
I would take a cold shower and think about how you will get by both with and without your husband. Is your fist love for real? or his he just looking for some love after doing some hard time?
I would really say that it is not in anyones best interest to leave your husband for this man.
2006-07-27 23:57:39 · answer #6 · answered by rabies_infected_cattle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guess it depends on how strong your marriage is.
You have to think about the fact that you really dont know your babys father anymore. He has changed and so have you. Please dont think that things will be the way it was cause it cant.
TIme has passed and you are grown now. Get to know him first when he comes out then decide if he is the one you would rather be with. Keep in mind, the grass isnt always greener on the other side.
2006-07-27 23:57:37 · answer #7 · answered by 2 real 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With all due respect, I think it's really important to think about what's best for your kids. Maybe you should try to turn around your 'semi-unhappy' marriage for the sake of preserving a family for your children.
2006-07-27 23:57:53 · answer #8 · answered by crazytodd11 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over it. Why even consider introducing an ex-con to your childrens lives. Granted, he has a right to see HIS child, but I'm quite sure that your current husband would be opposed to letting him see his.
2006-07-28 00:38:10 · answer #9 · answered by witchywoman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the fact that you're asking the question indicates that you have issues about the whole deal of being friends with the man. why are you semi-unhappy? have you talked with your husband about why you're unhappy? I personally would work on my marriage FIRST.
2006-07-28 00:18:58 · answer #10 · answered by blkrose65 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋