Moral Dilemma?

Question

I'm just curious as to what other peoples honest reaction would be under the following circumstance. Please note that I live in Canada where the following, although MORALLY reprehensible, is perfectly legal. So please do not say, "Oh, thats illegal". Also please note that I am portraying this questions for both males and females. So, now for the question.

You are very good friends with a coworker who has a son/daughter who is 16 years old. This young man/woman is extremely self assured, intelligent, and attractive. You have known this person their entire lives since they were an infant, babysat them and spent a great deal of time with them. You get along very well, even share the same interests.
One day you find out through a friend of this person that they are desperately in love with you. You are single and in excellent shape for your age.

What do you do?
Does love cross all boundries?

(Note: This is a fictional circumstance, I am conducting a study)

Thank you to the 5 people so far who have answered who actually read the questions.

6 people now

Answer 1

I think that it would depend on the two individuals involved.

First, are you sure that someone who is only 16 years old capable of making such a mature decision as to whether or not they can handle a relationship with an older person?

Second, how would your friend/co-worker feel about you pursuing a romantic relationship with their child?

Third, can both you and the other person in question feel good about being romantically involved since you are more or less a family member (ex. known since an infant, babysitting them)?

Also, you need to find out first-hand if the person really does have feelings for you.

Good luck with the study.

Answer 2

If it's legal, then age differences aren't really important.

However, being that person is not only SO much younger than you, but also just plain young, I would question if they are really in love with you. Infatuation may be more accurate, and infatuation doesn't last.

But, if both are ready to pursue the road together, more power to them. Age shouldn't stop people (as long as it's legal). I just think that someone so young and having so little life experiences with someone who is much older with much more life experiences will likely find the road very bumpy. The 16 year old will need to go through a maturing and learning process, and the relationship may not survive it.

If it were me, I'd want that person to mature more and experience life before deciding I am the right person for them. If the person is too young to have ever had their heart broken, I don't think we'd approach a relationship from the same standpoint and understanding.

Answer 3

As you can see, you elicit strong reaction as if you were really in the situation rather than just doing a study. Why do a study? Maybe you can give some details so you get a more considered and less emotional response.

To try and treat the question as a serious question for a moment. (not that I don't think it's a serious question) On the face of it, my cultural response is to think the behaviour is sordid and ugly. Like inside trading and using the classical psychological responses of a child to your own advantage. However, in fact, in the actual situation, this may not be the case. If somehow the relationship is not counter to reasonable cultural norms (your not trying to be outwardly provocative are you?) and it isn't illegal (a good prosecutor might build a case for a jury if the relationship has a smell of predation or financial opportunism to it) then enjoy your narrow margin of ethically tolerable social existence.

Answer 4

Honestly...I'd be tempted. But I don't think that would work out well for either party. It's just too socially unacceptable, too dangerous emotionally and too physically tempting (I'd see that as morally wrong), so I wouldn't. I'd wait about 4ish years and see how I felt when the kid was more mature. Intellegent, mature, self-assured doesn't matter, at 16 you're still less mature than a typical older person, so, I'd say it's not love. It can't be in my opinion yet, so I'd stay away from it. Explain my feelings, and let the kid have fun, and have those meaningless relationships like they ought to at that age and see where time leads.

Answer 5

As flattering as it would be for this man to hear that she is in love with him, he should leave it alone. She is too young to know the ramifications of ingaging in a relationship with a "friend". Does he really want to be the Pooh to her Christopher Robbin? She is bound to change and age and flourish. By the time she reaches 19, she may be a completely different person with different ideals and values. Where the man is grown and will most likely stay the same.

This could also ruin the relationship that the person has with the co-worker if the relationship goes sour.

Answer 6

At 16 that person, no matter how intelligent and self assured is a child. You have the benefit of experience of being an adult and that child has none. Since you have baysait this child, it is eveident that you are at least twice as old as this child.

You act as if you know nothing, heard nothing and continue to be able to look at your self in the mirror knowing that you did not take advantage of a child. In fact, to ensure that you do not take advantage, you keep your distance from the entire family until the child starts dating another child.

Answer 7

age differences are mind over matter-

If neither of you minds, it doesn't matter.

Just be aware of what other people may think as well, and if it still doesn't bother you, go for it. The catch in the story above is that you have babysat this person, so some may feel that you may have 'groomed' this person to be your mate. That would make me uncomfortable.

I would personally draw the line if the other person could be my biological child/parent. I wouldn't feel comfortable being in a parent/child relationship with my significant other.

Answer 8

I think love can be between anyone over any number of circumstances or situations. I think that physically consumating that love would be a big mistake. It is just not the right thing to do. You can love them, but just explain how things are and that as a society we are not accepting of certain behaviors. I know that will not mean much to somone who is deeply in love but in time they will come to understand. This is just my personal feelings on the matter.

Answer 9

The age for consensual relationships varies with the society.
according to you the law says that it would be legal to be in a consensualy sexual marriage, so your gov't wouldn't interfere.
However in most (not all) U.S. States you can't...

But who really decides the morality of the situation?

I for one don't care about age. I was more mature at 14 than some people are at twice that age. I am currently dating a person older than I am, and have no issues with such. To me it is a matter of maturity ,emotional stability, and social status.

You have not said if you are in love with her as well..
if so... then i would go for it!

Answer 10

As long as it is legal as you pointed out, I suppose it would depend on whether or not it would effect my friendship with the coworker; how much importance I put on that; whether or not I could continue to work with the person if it was a negative reaction; whether or not I was attracted to the young person. If everything was favorable to me, I would bang him/her like a 5 dollar omelet!