I need advice?

Question

i was best friends with this guy for a long time.. finnaly we took it to the next level and dated for over a month.. we broke up only a few moments ago.. i had sex with him which is a huge step for me... any advice on how to cope...

Answer 1

Well, date other people.

Answer 2

Having sex with someone is not an accomplishment. Obviously you would have had an easier time coping with uncertainty and the possibility of the break-up you just had if you had waited until you were both certain that you wanted to be together for a long-term committed relationship. Now you will have to get over it without consolation. It is too bad most young girls have to learn that way. Always date BEFORE "taking it to the next level".

Answer 3

There's no easy way to get over it. Not what you wanted to hear, I'm sure, but honesty is more important. I'm going through a trying break-up myself, and honestly, I'm not even sure what to do. But my best advice is this: whether or not you were raised to worry about others more than yourself, this is a time to worry about yourself. The only way that you're going to feel better is by doing what you enjoy, and by protecting yourself. I'm not saying to become a selfish recluse, not by any means. However, you must protect yourself from further pain.

In regards to having sex with him, that's a big step for anyone, one that I have not experienced yet myself. It's hard to not feel bad about that, but honestly, everyone has a time when they are ready for it. If, when you decided to have sex with him, you felt he was that special person to share the moment with, then there's no arguing with it. While some regret doing it like this, look at it this way: someone cared enough and was attracted enough to you to share that with you. There IS someone else out there who will feel the same way, and love you in a way you deserve. The only thing to worry about is whatever your religion believes in regards to sex. That I cannot help with.

Keep that chin up, and don't lose your confidence. Don't let him steal your smile.

Answer 4

What is done is done. If this separation is final, then move on, you now there are millions of guys out there. If it is not final, then go very slow in finding ways to solve the issues we know nothing about, but you do.

If at the end, he is gone. Then treasure the memories, learn from them, gather your strength and resources and keep searching for the perfect guy. Take care.

In the mean time, cope this doing things that you like, get re-acquainted with old friends, do fun things together, experience new things and be happy.

Answer 5

All wounds heal with time. Don't take this to heart, your friend may be feeling guilty about having sex with someone so close. You may have had sex, but the bigger question is was it done in love or lust? The two can be confused at times.

Tomorrow is another day and with it will come different feelings. Make it through today and worry about tomorrow when it gets here. The two of you will talk eventually and perhaps time apart will allow the two of you to understand your true feelings for each other. I hope that this works out for you.

Answer 6

You were a conquest.
Now you have been dumped.
Pity you did not realize the outcome, nor able to read his real intentions.
You need to learn that you were simply a commodity - like a whore, only it was free.
Accept the fact that you are no longer wanted by him.
Learn the lessons of sexual freedom.
Begin the process to personal recovery thru these stages:
(1) Shock - try to put it off as a bad experience, like being in a bad restaurant eating rotten fish
(2) Denial - begin to leave the denial stage by saying it happened - you were stupid to think he would stay loyal and trustworthy
(3) Acceptance - leaving shock and denial behind you - accept the facts of the present. You were dumped. Pick up your dignity. Begin to put the past away as experience. Learn never to let your guard down again without earning trust.
(4) Recovery - start fresh. Clear out the history. Move on.

Life is too short to be tied down to one incident. Mistakes happen. Try not to repeat it.
So sorry to hear you were taken advantaged of.

Answer 7

You sound as though you've been terribly hard on yourself over this, and , unfortunately it will be with you for a long time, you will have to learn to live with it, what is, as of this moment , in the past should stay there, work, going out with friends, and perhaps sporting events are good substitutes, time would be the only truthful answer, and there is one thing you might try......FIND ANOTHER, start over, live and love again, you must now think of your own well-being, the support of true friends are needed during this time!! GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 8

Hun people makes mistakes. And the biggest mistake you can make right now is not to learn something from this. As far as sleeping with him. If he was considerate of your feelings and was a wonderful experince for you. then don't worry about it hun. But from now on listen to this and learn. Find the guy that will ( and I know this sounds old fashion) open doors for you, ask you what you like to do tonight,and when in an argument, will meet you have way on the situation. Things seems fast now days and kids and even older people put a lot in sex. But feelings is the biggest thing . Trust in yourself. respect yourself, and most of all love yourself. Then take this experince with this guy and learn from it and do notmake the same mistakes again Good luck Hun

Answer 9

Let this be a lesson for you.
We all learn one way or the other. Be more selective in who you date and never give of yourself to another without first evaluating the relationship. Just because you are with someone for a long time doesn't mean he is the right one to give of yourself too. Good luck and now lay the past to rest, ok.

Answer 10

Sorry to hear that sweetie. I know it's hard now, but time really does heal all wounds. You can find someone better for you. And maybe you two were just better off as friends. And as cliche as this sounds, if it's meant to be, it will be. Maybe you two just need some time apart from each other to find yourselves and what you want in life. Take this opportunity and meet different people. Eventually, you'll find someone who'll make you happy. Good luck!