Should i listen to my dad?

Question

There is this guy that i've know since i was a freshman, and i trust him and love him like a brother. There was one time where i had a crush on him and he rejected me. Since then he's said sorry and we're more like brother and sister to each other (he's an only child and i'm the oldest so it works out for both of us). The only problem is that my father said he filled my mind with stupid thoughts about fantasy (BTW i've had those in my mind a long time B4 i met dave cuz of the book that i'm writing). This fall i'm going to be taking classes at the same college that dave's at and my dad said that i am not to have any contact with dave. Like i said, I love david like a brother and i would put my life in his hands and not worry. Hell i trust him more then my dad. My dad made me lose one of my other close guyfriend and i sure as hell don't want to lose david. He's been there for me through everything and i him. I just don't wanna lose him.

Answer 1

Personally, I think because Dave is YOUR friend and you know him way better than your dad does you should just stick with your decision. If he's been a really good friend then why should your dad ruin that friendship? True friends are hard to come across and I suppose your dad misunderstood your relationship with him and thought you two were an item.

Answer 2

You should usually listen to your dad when he talks about younger men. There's three reasons for it.

1. He loves you and doesn't want you to get hurt or exploited.

2. He used to be a younger man, so he knows what kind of scoundrels some of them are. Those scoundrels were his buddies 20 years ago. He might even have been one of the scoundrels himself, but has since repented and doesn't want his daughter to fall into the clutches of a bad dude with a sweet tongue.

3. Do you figure that in the next 20 years you will learn ABSOLUTELY NOTHING? No, you don't think that. Of course you will learn...lots of things. You'll learn, for example, how clever men can be at making young women think they're great guys when they're not. Well, your dad's already lived those 20 years, and he's already picked up on the stuff you haven't got to yet.

So, yeah, you should listen to your dad. He's there to help, not tell you exactly what you want to hear.

Answer 3

First of all, yes, fathers will be extremely protective of their daughters. That's just a law of nature. Tell him that the fantasy thoughts were there before Dave was in the picture, and he might understand. I agree that zero contact is a bit harsh, but you need to sit down and have a heart to heart with your dad and hash it out. It will be a heated discussion to be sure, but after the raised voices have calmed down, you should tell him you appreciate his devotion and love, but you need to live your life and learn from your mistakes.

Also is there something about Dave that your dad finds intolerable? Is he a pot smoker, convicted criminal, or a daddy by 4 different girls? Is it a race or age issue? Those things can weigh heavily on a dad's mind...

Answer 4

ur dad is acting like every other good dad should. maybe u should try to convince ur dad about him or hang out wit dave but not to much to make ur dad made. also let dave know about ur dad so he doesn't think u are ignoring him and don't make dave and u taking classes together a secret from ur dad b/c he will only be more mad and make sure u guys never talk again

Answer 5

Frankly, I feel if you are going to college your parents have no say in who you contact, unless you are still living with them at the time. You can still respect their desire for what they feel is your best interest, and sometimes they do know better than we do, beause of their experiences - However - if you want to grow as a person, and are willing to make your own mistakes, you will need to let them know after you move out, that you need to learn to make your own decisions about some things, and will be willing to listen to their advice, but that the ultimate decision will be yours. I was very protected as a child, and didnt know much about things when I moved out. Was a rude awakening. Thought just because I listened to my parents that all would be well, but things occur that your parents will have had no experience with, and you need to be able to make choices on your own sometimes. Advice is nice, but not always correct!

Answer 6

well you will be going to college so sounds like you r an adult so it is your choice. sometimes parent try to protect there children so much thta they end up pushing them away. i think your dad is looking out for you maybe not in the right way but in the only way he knows. i would be friends with dave but be carefull. tell your dad to trust you and tell him you are going to be careful about this. and ask him if he really wants to put you in the situation that you have to choose. what ever you do be careful and trust your judgement if thiongs dont feel right listen to your self

Answer 7

You didn't elaborate on the "fantasies" part, isn't that why your dad doesn't want you around him. I think he thinks this guy is having a little tooo much influence on his daughters thinking and doesn't want her lead down the wrong path....besides he knows first hand how guys think and probably won't ever trust any of them....but I don't think he's doing it to be a jerk. It sounds like he's just looking out for you and in the long run that isn't such a bad thing.

Answer 8

Your dad has your best interest at heart. If you are dependent on your dad then there is no question that you should respect his wishes even if he is wrong. If Dave is as wonderful as you perceive now then he will also be that way in a few years when you become independent.

Answer 9

Sometimes it's in important to listen to Dads, but not always. Heck, girl, I get real POed at my dad all the time. Like today he made me so mad. So I feel your pain.

If you really like hanging out with Dave, then keep hanging out with him. Your getting to be an adult now and it's time you take hold of the things in life now-including your friendships. No offense to anybody, but parents can't always tell you what to do in friendships.

Answer 10

How could you listen to your father when listening to his advice makes you fear losing one of the greatest friends that youve ever had?..Dads are automatically going to be protective of their kids..especially their daughters...he probably wont be willing to look at or understand any viewpoint other than his because thats what he sees as the best way to protect and care for you...whether youre an adult or 6 years old lol..try to follow what you think is best because it seems like you have your own opinion..good luck!